


Moving Mountains

by thefangirlingdead



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 64,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24544174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead
Summary: Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.(Set during and after the events of ATLA, and during some of the events of the comics that follow. This was an excuse to write a slow-burn where Sokka and Zuko are soulmates)
Relationships: (Sokka/Zuko is endgame), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 680
Kudos: 4260





	1. what our hearts and hands were for

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. So.
> 
> I never thought I'd be rewatching ATLA in 2020 and thinking to myself, "Man, Zuko and Sokka make a great ship" nor did I think that I'd end up writing a long-ass soulmate AU for them, but here we are! I've never written for this show or this pairing before, but man, I love them. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is canon-compliant with the show, with only a few changes here and there to fit the whole _soulmate_ part in. The later chapters will also take place after the show and during some of the comics that follow like The Promise, The Search and North and South. I won't really go into specifics as far as the plot, but there might be a few spoilers in there. Just a forewarning.
> 
> I think this will end up being about 8/9 chapters unless it runs away with me. 
> 
> (ALSO, the title of this fic and every chapter title have been taken from Thrice's Alchemy Index albums. I HIGHLY recommend listening to them! There are four parts, one for each element, and they're AMAZING. That's all!)
> 
> Enjoy!

_Was there a time we weren't at war_  
_When we knew what our hearts and hands were for?_  
_I don't believe there ever was._  
\- [Lost Continent](https://open.spotify.com/track/77SWFiJpDofSPYN32YAZNu?si=pcHxnm3fTUqlp-qoY-Zn3w) \- Thrice

* * *

Ever since he was a small child, Sokka has never been one to care for all of the  _ spirit, soulmate, bending, magic water mumbo-jumbo _ that his sister has always been so passionate about. Even  _ before  _ they lost their mother, before their father left to fight in the war, before Sokka was forced to grow up at an extremely young age, it never really  _ spoke _ to him. Others in the tribe (especially Katara) would probably just attribute it to the fact that he was born a non-bender, and sure, that’s part of it, but Sokka likes to think that he’s always just been a practical person. Why wait for the spirits to decide your fate when you can take matters into your own hands? Why rely on a bender to do something for you when you can train and fight and become strong enough to do it yourself?

So even though his family and friends in the Southern Water Tribe take things like bending and  _ fate _ and soulmates seriously, Sokka couldn’t care less. Frankly, he hates the idea of some  _ spirit _ determining his destiny or deciding who he should end up with, when he is perfectly capable of taking matters into his own hands. At the young age of thirteen, Sokka finds himself thinking that it would be perfectly okay if he never heard another person’s thoughts. He likes the idea of being able to choose for himself. 

Katara has always thought it was romantic. Go figure.  _ Girls. _

Sokka, on the other hand, had more important things to worry about from a young age, like protecting his village, training the next generation of fearless Water Tribe warriors and  _ being the man of the house, _ after his dad left. He couldn’t be bothered with magic water and romance and spirits and  _ fate _ . 

But then, Aang came along. 

Aang  _ happens, _ and the second that Katara sees that weird little bald kid in the iceberg, Sokka knows that his sister just found her soulmate. Or, maybe her first crush. Either way, she and the kid become inseparable, and Sokka’s life is never the same. 

Sokka never gets the chance to  _ ask _ Katara if the kid is her soulmate - if she can hear his thoughts - because it isn’t long before they’re under attack. Aang and Katara accidentally signal the Fire Nation, and before long, ash is falling from the sky and there’s a Fire Navy ship on their doorstep and Sokka is preparing to fight for his life -

At just  _ fifteen years old. _

It’s messed up, really, but he doesn’t have the time to think about that. They’re under attack, and it’s everything that Sokka has been training for his entire life. He  _ won't _ let his father down. 

But  _ fate _ , as it turns out, has a funny way of rearing its ugly head at the worst possible moment. 

The second that the Fire Navy ship comes to a complete stop, Sokka attacks with everything he has. He takes a deep breath, steels himself, and remembers his training before charging full-force at who he assumes is their leader, but the Fire Nation soldier is much stronger than him, much more disciplined and well trained. He quickly disarms and tosses Sokka to the side, but Sokka isn’t one to give up without a fight. 

So he does what he has been training for -  _ he fights -  _ and thankfully, the boy ( _ boy, _ because as Sokka realizes, he doesn’t appear to be much older than himself) doesn’t see the boomerang coming. It catches him off guard, knocking him in the back of the head with a loud  _ CLANG _ \- bone on metal - and then, Sokka is on the offense. He charges the young soldier with a spear and - 

And then, he’s on the ground again.

So much for his training. He feels pitiful. Ashamed. Terrified. 

The Fire Nation soldier glares down at him, flames licking at the backs of his hands, and  _ that’s _ when Sokka hears it, as if someone is saying the words directly into his ear -

**_“Water Tribe peasant - I’ll put you in your place - !”_ **

But before Sokka can begin to react to the fact that  _ he’s pretty damn sure that he just heard the other boy’s voice in his head, _ Aang is swooping in on a penguin, knocking him off of his feet.

And just like that, the moment is broken. Sokka is back in battle mode.

* * *

After they save Aang and escape with their lives, it doesn’t take long before the adrenaline starts to wear off. It’s exhausting, actually, coming down from the high of battle, of life or death. It was something that Sokka  _ thought _ he was ready for - he spent years training for it, after all - but he never could have prepared himself for  _ this. _ Play-fighting with sticks and boomerangs out on the tundra with kids younger than him was nothing compared to fighting off  _ real _ firebenders, even one that was his own age.

And that’s another thing. 

As they fly away from the Southern Water Tribe and the only home that Sokka has ever known, he can’t help but think back to that moment that he  _ swore _ he heard the Fire Nation soldier’s voice in his head. It felt…  _ invasive.  _ Intimate. Unsettling.

When they confronted the ship for the second time to rescue Aang, Sokka found himself going toe-to-toe with the soldier - he’d later find out that his name was Zuko - once more, but he didn’t hear his voice again. And as he sits on Appa’s back, flying away from the South Pole, he convinces himself that maybe, he was just hearing things. He has never actually been in battle before, so maybe it was just the adrenaline of it all. Maybe, he was just going crazy. Maybe it was that weird seal jerky that he ate that morning…

For the time being, he writes it off as nothing, because that’s a whole hell of a lot easier than considering the possibility that  _ maybe _ , he just met his soulmate. His soulmate, who happens to be a  _ firebender _ hellbent on killing his new friend and destroying everything he knows and loves.

Yeah, pretending that it’s nothing is a lot easier. 

But that only gets Sokka so far. 

The next time that Sokka hears his thoughts, he  _ can’t _ write it off. The next time, he’s ready. Prepared. He’s more level-headed and clear of mind.

The next time, there’s no denying it. 

It happens on Kyoshi Island, while Sokka is fighting side by side with Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors. They have Zuko surrounded, and that’s when he hears it, clear as day -

**_“I won’t let these little girls stop me from capturing the Avatar.”_ **

And  _ that _ knocks the breath from Sokka’s lungs long before he actually hits the ground. 

Like the first time he heard it, Sokka doesn’t have the chance to process the fact that  _ he just heard someone else’s voice inside his head _ until they’re in the air on Appa’s back, flying away to safety once more. It’s becoming a pattern, really, and one that Sokka doesn’t enjoy. 

There’s no lying to himself now. Sokka heard Zuko’s thoughts.

But that… that would mean -

No. 

_ No, no, no.  _

Nope. 

He won’t consider it. No thank you.

He  _ can’t _ have a firebender as a soulmate. The spirits can’t possibly hate him  _ that _ much,  _ can they? _

No, maybe he’s just psychic. That’s it. Maybe he has psychic powers, just like how Katara has her waterbending!

Maybe, it’s an Avatar thing. Maybe, the spirits are just playing a cruel prank on him, or  _ maybe,  _ they’re trying to give him the upper hand.  _ Yeah, _ maybe they want him to hear Zuko’s thoughts so they can stay one step ahead of him! After all, hearing your opponent’s thoughts would be really beneficial…

“What’s wrong with you?” Katara’s voice shakes Sokka out of his thoughts, and he realizes that he has probably just been staring into  _ nothing _ for quite a while. 

He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just…  _ Nothing.” _

It  _ isn’t _ nothing.

Zuko is always right on their tail, and Kyoshi Island is far from the last time that they encounter one another. And each time, just when Sokka thinks that maybe, he was imagining things before, he hears him - 

_ Zuko. _

He starts to resent that stupid, angsty, raspy,  _ annyoing _ voice more than he resents the fact that a firebender is always right behind them, trying to capture them or kill them. He resents it, because as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to deny that he has found his soulmate. 

Zuko. Zuko is his soulmate. 

It’s so fucked up. Leave it to Sokka to end up in this predicament. 

He doesn’t tell Katara or Aang.  _ How could he? _ He feels like a traitor just _ thinking  _ it, so saying the words out loud… it would be devastating.

In fact, he doesn’t even admit it out loud to himself until they reach Makapu Village - until he meets the fortune-teller, Aunt Wu. 

Truthfully, Sokka really  _ does _ think that the idea of a fortune-teller is bogus, especially when her fortunes always seem to  _ conveniently _ come true. But below the surface, though, he has  _ other _ reasons to feel utter disgust when he thinks about the fortune-teller. He hates the idea that people would  _ want _ to know their future, and deep down, he knows it’s because he resents the thought that the spirits have already mapped out his  _ own _ future without his consent. He hates it, and he’ll fight it every step of the way. He  _ won’t _ end up with a firebender. He refuses to. He’s determined to create his  _ own _ destiny. His own future.

So that’s why he’s ashamed to admit that he makes _ one  _ last pit stop by Aunt Wu’s before they leave the village. He gives Katara some lame excuse -  _ “I forgot something - it’ll only take a second!” -  _ before he quickly darts inside, hoping nobody saw him enter. 

Sokka closes the front door quietly behind him and nearly jumps out of his skin when he turns around to find Meng waiting for him. 

“Aunt Wu has been expecting you,” she says with a toothy grin, then gestures for Sokka to follow her down the hallway. 

The greeting is slightly unsettling, but he doesn’t let it get to him. He has a question for Aunt Wu, and he won’t leave until it is answered. 

“Sokka, please, come in, have a seat” Aunt Wu says in the form of a greeting, her voice warm and inviting despite the fact that Sokka has been criticizing and mocking her ever since they arrived in her village. “What can I do for you?”

Sokka takes a deep breath and steels himself. He steps forward and takes a seat across from Aunt Wu on the floor. “I want you to tell me how you can be so  _ certain _ of everyone’s future,” he all but demands, his tone stern. “Each and every person in this village has the free will to choose their own future and their own destiny. How could the lines in their palms or the clouds in the sky or the  _ future _ that you claim to see possibly determine their fate?”

Aunt Wu smiles, and it’s this kind, understanding thing. Sokka resents  _ that _ , too. She  _ doesn’t _ understand him. She could never  _ begin _ to understand him. “You’re a bright young man, Sokka, of the Southern Water Tribe -”

Sokka’s eyes go wide. He’s fairly certain that he  _ never _ told her where he was from, but he remains calm, telling himself that maybe, Katara divulged that information. 

“Surely, you know that no person’s fate is truly set in stone,” she continues, “All people  _ do _ have free will and the ability to shape their own destiny, but  _ some things _ are just meant to be.”

Before Sokka can stop himself, he breathes out, like a punch to the gut -  _ “Like soulmates.” _

Aunt Wu nods. “You’ve met yours, but you already know that, don’t you?”

Sokka clenches his jaw, averting his eyes. It’s the first time that he has been forced to face the subject head-on. Every time he has heard Zuko’s thoughts, he has found a way to brush it aside, to bury it deep and try to forget it ever happened. But Aunt Wu is straightforward. She doesn’t skirt around the topic. It’s both relieving and terrifying. 

“I don’t  _ want _ them to be my soulmate,” Sokka all but bites. 

She simply hums in response, and seemingly changing the subject, says, “Your future is full of pain and conflict, young warrior.”

“Well  _ obviously! _ ” Sokka shoots back, throwing his arms up in frustration. “I don’t know if you missed the part where we just fought a volcano and saved your entire town!”

“You know as well as I do that I’m not talking about the volcano,” the fortune-teller counters with a knowing smile, “But despite all of your struggles, your future is full of love and light, too.”

Okay, great. So now, she’s speaking in riddles.

Sokka rolls his eyes. “I don’t even know why I came here,” he mutters, moving to stand. As he does, Aunt Wu reaches out, catching his hand and stopping him in his tracks. 

“It would be quite hypocritical of me to argue with destiny, given my… trade,” Aunt Wu admits, offering Sokka an understanding, soft smile, “But as you and your friends have proven today, you’re capable of shaping your own destiny.”

Sokka narrows his eyes at her. Now, she’s contradicting herself. Nothing makes sense.

“Are you saying that I don’t  _ have  _ to end up with my soulmate?” he asks. The hope in his voice betrays him. He sounds so young. So small and pathetic. Nothing like the  _ warrior _ that he’s supposed to be. 

“The spirits are never wrong,” Aunt Wu simply says in response, “But sometimes, they have a funny way of showing you the truth. You have a great capacity for love, Sokka. That love can take many forms, with many different people.”

Sokka opens his mouth to speak, to ask what she means, but she silences him with a finger. 

“Your road to love is not as linear as your sister’s,” she continues with a softer, more gentle tone, “It will bring you great joy, but also great sorrow. It will challenge your convictions and make you question who you are and what you truly want, but just remember that if you follow your heart, it will never lead you astray.”

Sokka narrows his eyes, pulling his hand back from the fortune-teller. “You’re speaking in riddles.”

She smiles, “Maybe I am, but one day, you will understand.”

* * *

Weeks later, in the Northern Water Tribe, as Sokka stares into Yue’s stunning, icy blue eyes, he thinks that maybe, he is finally beginning to understand. 

_ It will bring you great joy, but also great sorrow.  _

Sokka remembers those words when Yue tells him that she’s already engaged, when he realizes that he can’t even hear  _ her  _ thoughts, despite his strong feelings for her, despite the way that the universe practically draws him to her. He remembers what Aunt Wu told him, and he  _ hates _ that she’s right. 

“Is he your soulmate?” Sokka hears himself asking, but his voice sounds cold and far away. 

“What?” Yue seems surprised by the question. “Oh,  _ no _ \- I… I don’t think I have one.”

She averts her gaze, looking down at the snowy ground. “It isn’t like it would matter anyway…”

Sokka quickly understands what she means. “It’s an arranged marriage…” he infers. 

Yue nods. She doesn’t speak, at least, not for a long time, and the silence between them stretches for miles before she asks, “What about you? Do you -”

Yue’s eyes are searching, begging Sokka to tell the truth, but he wants nothing more than to lie. He wants to lie and tell her that  _ she _ has to be his soulmate, even if he can’t hear her thoughts. He feels so drawn to her, like she’s too important  _ not _ to be his soulmate… 

But, he knows that he can’t lie about that. 

He still avoids the truth, just not in the same way. 

“I don’t think I have one either.”

Because, despite his conversation with Aunt Wu, he hasn’t said it out loud yet, and he doesn’t want to. If he acknowledges it, then it makes it real. 

But Yue just smiles sadly at Sokka, and the sight shatters his heart. 

“ _ Sokka _ , having a soulmate is a beautiful thing,” she insists, voice soft. She reaches out to take his hands, and he lets her. “You don’t have to lie to me. You won’t hurt my feelings. It doesn’t mean that you can’t care deeply for other people…”

_ You have a great capacity for love, Sokka. That love can take many forms, with many different people. _

Maybe, Aunt Wu was right.

Sokka doesn’t pull away, but he sets his lips in a fine line, averting his gaze. “Yeah, well, I don’t really  _ like _ my soulmate, so it’s not all that beautiful.”

Although he’s not looking at her, he can  _ hear _ the frown in Yue’s voice when she says, “But the spirits don’t make mistakes…”

And he doesn’t quite understand what she means by that, but he will, eventually. All in good time. 

“Yeah, well, I think they did this time,” Sokka shots back, voice full of anger and frustration. Why couldn’t the spirits give him someone like Yue? She’s so kind and caring and  _ beautiful... _

Yue lets go of one of Sokka’s hands, reaching up to hook her fingers under his chin, urging him to look up at her. He does, and her eyes search deep into his soul, as if they’re looking for an answer. “Maybe - maybe you’re not ready for them yet,” she offers, voice so hopeful and innocent,  _ “Or they’re just not ready for you! _ -”

“They’re from the  _ Fire Nation _ ,” Sokka blurts, cutting her off and  _ finally,  _ Yue’s face falls. Sokka wants to be happy that she  _ finally _ understands, but it doesn’t bring him any joy. He just feels guilty, putting this on someone else. 

A silence falls between them, and Sokka wants to pull away. He doesn’t want Yue’s pity. He doesn’t want her to feel sorry for him. He doesn’t want to talk about this any more than he already has. 

But he doesn’t move, and eventually, Yue speaks, and when she does, it’s not what he expected at all. 

It’s soft and gentle and actually feels a bit…  _ joyous  _ when Yue says,  _ “Oh Sokka _ \- the spirits must have something truly  _ special _ in store for you…”

And he feels terrible for doing so, but he can’t help but laugh bitterly at her comment. “Yeah, well it certainly doesn’t feel like it.”

* * *

Things change again, after the siege of the North Pole and the death of the moon spirit and  _ Yue.  _ Sokka can’t quite place his finger on it, but something…  _ shifts _ inside of him. He isn’t the same person, after the North Pole. 

After he loses Yue, Sokka’s trust in the spirits has never been more broken. Because  _ sure,  _ the spirits saved Yue’s life once, when she was just a baby, and  _ sure _ , they saved the people of the Northern Water Tribe, but they also took Yue away from him. The spirits took Yue away from him twice: once when they didn’t make her his soulmate, and again when she gave her life to protect her people. 

And he fucking  _ resents _ them for it. 

So after he loses Yue, Sokka refuses to acknowledge  _ anything _ that the spirits have done for him. He refuses to acknowledge that they’re capable of choosing his fate or the path that he must take in life, or the person that he will end up with, because how can the spirits be  _ good, _ when they bring so much pain and  _ evil _ into the world, too?

And most of all, Sokka refuses to believe that Zuko, a firebender, is his soulmate. Firebenders took his mother away from him. Firebenders called his father to war. Firebenders killed all of Aang’s people, and ultimately, they killed Yue, too. 

Firebenders have already taken so much from him. How could he  _ ever _ be expected to give his heart over to one of them, too? It’s one of the few things that Sokka  _ can _ protect, and he won’t give it up that easily. 

So Sokka ignores the spirits’ fate for him, and for a while, it works.

The next time they inevitably encounter Zuko, he doesn’t hear the other boy’s thoughts. 

_ Ha! In your face Aunt Wu, looks like I can shape my own destiny! _

And for a while, Sokka lets himself believe that that’s the end of it. Maybe he’ll get a clean slate. Maybe he’ll find a  _ new _ soulmate. Or maybe, he won’t have one at all. How great would  _ that _ be - having the freedom to choose whoever he wants…

Eventually, they reunite with Suki, and although Sokka can’t hear  _ her _ thoughts, that doesn’t stop him from developing feelings for her. That doesn’t stop him from wanting to  _ be _ with her. 

And for a while, he’s happy. Sure, they’re still running from the Fire Nation and they still have a war to stop and a Fire Lord to defeat, but for the first time in a long time, Sokka doesn’t feel weighed down by his destiny and the spirits and fate and  _ soulmates.  _

But of course,  _ fate _ has something else in store for him.

Someone once told Sokka that the only constant in life is  _ change _ and man, ain’t that the truth? Because after Ba Sing Se and the eclipse and their failed mission in the Fire Nation, everything changes yet again. 

For Sokka, it’s a blow to his ego. When the time came, he proved to be great at leading the charge, but terrible at following through. When the time came, he was forced to leave the people that he loved and cared for the most behind. 

His father. Suki. Many of their friends and allies. 

He had to sacrifice their safety to ensure the safety of friends, his sister and the Avatar. It wasn’t a good trade-off. 

For Aang, it meant that he would  _ need _ to learn firebending if he wanted to defeat the Fire Lord.

Little does Sokka know that during the eclipse, everything changes for Zuko, as well. And when the other boy eventually shows up at their camp, asking to be part of the group, insisting that he has changed for the better and he wants to teach Aang firebending, that he wants to help him defeat his father -

Sokka can’t believe he’s thinking about it, but he  _ wants _ to believe him. Deep down, he wants to believe that Zuko has changed. 

For the first time since he heard the firebender’s thoughts in his own head back in the South Pole, Sokka actually finds himself  _ longing _ to hear Zuko’s thoughts, eager to hear the truth, to hear what he  _ really  _ thinks. But he hears -

Nothing.

And he doesn’t know why. 


	2. it's lonely when there's no one left to fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you all so much for such kind words on the first chapter!! Y'all really know how to make a girl feel welcome. 
> 
> This one isn't quite as long as the first chapter, but I'm super excited to explore Zuko's side of things! There will be a few additional notes at the end of this chapter, just because I don't want to spoil anything, but enjoy!!

_And so I hid among the smaller things_  
 _You found me there and ferried me above_  
 _The flame deluge is waiting in the wings_  
 _The smallest thread holds back the second flood_  
  
 _And who will stand to greet the blinding light_  
 _It's lonely when there's no one left to fight  
_ \- [The Flame Deluge](https://open.spotify.com/track/6BWj0JnWQ2ZFPpPnvQBze8?si=p667nQzoTlel6mjGBkXIsw) \- Thrice

* * *

Much of the Fire Nation - and  _ especially _ the royal family - rarely concerns themselves with the concept of  _ soulmates. _ Sure, it was something that Zuko learned about at a young age, no thanks to his father or their strict school curriculum, but at the same time, Zuko also learned early on that soulmates  _ don’t matter. _

He still remembers the day that he asked his mother about it. 

_“Are you and dad soulmates?”_ _Zuko asks innocently enough while he and his mother stroll around one of the many ponds in the palace courtyard._

_ Always so strong and composed, Ursa’s step falters at the question, and she looks down at Zuko with wide eyes before masking her emotion. “Zuko, why would you ask such a thing?” _

_ As he does whenever he speaks out, Zuko draws into himself, looking down when he mutters, “I read about them - in one of the books that uncle gave to me - and I just… I was curious is all. I’m sorry, mother, I -” _

_ Suddenly, his mother is kneeling beside him. She takes his slender shoulders into her hands, turning him to face her, and to Zuko’s surprise, she’s smiling when he looks up at her. “Zuko, darling,” she coos, voice sweet and soft, “You have no need to apologize. No question is off limits with me - remember?”  _

_ Zuko nods, but he doesn’t say anything in response. He doesn’t know what to say.  _

_ “So… you asked if your father and I are soulmates, right?” She prompts, and he nods again. “Well… it’s a bit complicated, dear. But no, your father and I are not soulmates.”  _

_ Zuko’s eyes widen. “But if you’re not, why - the spirits are supposed to choose the person that you love, and -” _

_ “Oh, Zuko,” Ursa smiles, and it’s this sad, soft thing. “I am very happy here, even if your father and I aren’t soulmates. Sometimes, the spirits can be wrong, okay?” _

_ Zuko doesn’t quite believe her, but he nods. “Okay…” _

_ A soft hand reaches out to gently caress his face. “One day, when you’re older, you’ll understand, sweetheart.” _

And one day, Zuko  _ does _ understand.  Like all good things, though, it just takes some time. 

By the time Zuko’s mother disappears and by the time he is banished at the young age of thirteen, it has been quite a long time since Zuko has concerned himself with something as childish and simple as soulmates. When he was younger, sure, he’d lie awake in bed, imagining what  _ his _ soulmate would be like, if he had one out there somewhere, but  _ now, _ he has much bigger things to worry about. One doesn’t have the time to dwell on love and romance when they’re hunting the Avatar to reclaim their honor and rightful place on the throne. 

By the time Zuko is sixteen and he spies that bright light, shooting up into the heavens from the South Pole, he has forgotten about  _ soulmates _ entirely. After all, it isn’t his destiny to find someone, fall in love and start a family. It’s his destiny to capture the Avatar and restore his honor - to prove himself to his father and one day, rule over the Fire Nation as his family has for centuries. 

But fate and destiny have a funny way of presenting themselves to you. 

For the longest time - three  _ long _ years - Zuko assumed that it was his destiny to capture the Avatar, to return home to his father and the throne, but when  _ that _ time finally comes, it doesn’t feel right. _Nothing_ feels right. 

The only thing he  _ does _ know, with one hundred percent certainty, is that his Uncle  _ was  _ right. It wasn’t his destiny to capture the Avatar, after all - it was his destiny to  _ help _ him. 

So by the time that Zuko confronts his father, he knows where his destiny lies, and it’s not with the Fire Nation or, as much as it breaks his heart to admit it, with Mei. It’s with the Avatar and his rag-tag group of friends.  _ His _ destiny is to help the Avatar stop his father and restore balance to the world. 

And by the time Zuko leaves the Fire Nation in search of Aang and his friends, he has long since accepted the fact that Mei wasn’t his soulmate. Not only could he not hear her thoughts, but things always just felt so  _ tense _ between them, little trying to force a firebender to earthbend, like trying to make a fire ferret fly. It just wasn’t meant to be. He probably doesn’t even  _ have _ a soulmate, and honestly, it’s the best punishment that he could ever receive for everything he’s ever done wrong in his life. 

_ Turning his back on his uncle after everything he did for him, betraying Katara, breaking Mei’s heart, nearly killing Aang, harming so many innocent people… _

Someone like Zuko doesn’t  _ deserve  _ a soulmate. Someone like Zuko deserves to be alone. He doesn't deserve someone to love him unconditionally, just because the spirits said they had to. In a way, Zuko is  _ glad _ that he doesn’t have a soulmate, because he’d feel sorry for the poor soul that got stuck with someone as fucked up as him.

After Zuko finally makes the decision to leave - to turn on his father and Azula and join the Avatar instead - it’s like something just  _ clicks _ into place. Sitting in the war balloon, on his way to the Western Air Temple, he feels surprisingly at peace with himself. The turmoil inside of him doesn’t dissipate completely - he still hasn’t forgiven himself for what he did to his uncle, or Mei or even Katara or Aang - but it becomes a little easier to manage, now that he knows that he’s doing the right thing. He can begin to right his wrongs, attone for the mistakes that he made in the past and hopefully, if they’re lucky, leave this world a little better than he found it. As he journeys to the Western Air Temple to beg the Avatar for forgiveness and hope that he sees some  _ good _ in him, he can see just a little bit clearer, breathe just a little bit easier. 

Little does he know that something  _ else _ shifts inside of him, as well...

His capacity for love.

Of course, Zuko loved -  _ loves _ \- his mother, the one person who ever truly understood him. As evil as she may seem, he even loves his sister, too. And although they never said it out loud, he  _ does  _ love Mei. But Zuko has never seen himself as someone who is  _ capable _ of love - of  _ being _ loved. It’s not really something that he had the luxury of worrying about when he was banished and scarred for life at just thirteen. The years that followed were no different. 

But the moment that Zuko decides to change for the better,  _ everything _ changes.

* * *

Getting Aang and the rest of his friends to trust him isn’t easy, and frankly, Zuko doesn’t blame them for being wary. After aggressively hunting them for nearly a year, he’s not sure if he would trust himself either, if he were in their shoes. But thankfully, they come around, and eventually, Zuko finds himself being welcomed as part of the group.

It’s not a  _ warm _ welcome by any means, but it’s  _ something.  _

And that’s when it happens. 

“I still have to ask my friends if it’s okay with them,” Aang tells him, and Zuko, surprisingly, finds himself  _ envying _ the friendship that the Avatar has with his team. He could easily make the decision himself and force everyone to go along with it, but he turns to his friends - people that Zuko has  _ hurt _ \- and asks what  _ they _ think.

And when Aang turns to Sokka, something…  _ incredible, terrifying, amazing and unbelievable  _ happens.

The Water Tribe warrior closes his eyes for a long moment, deep in thought, and that’s when he hears it:

**_“Why? Why does it have to be him?”_ **

And Zuko’s eyes go wide, because he certainly  _ heard _ Sokka’s voice - he has become accustomed to his witty remarks and shitty jokes over the past year, even as his enemy - but the other boy hasn’t opened his mouth.  _ He didn’t speak out loud.  _ He’s still just standing there, eyes closed, lips pressed together in a frown.

“Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord,” Sokka says out loud at last, and Zuko feels like he’s about to have a heart attack. He still hasn’t even processed what just happened when Sokka makes the decision to let him in the group. “If you think this is the way to do it, then I’m all for it.”

_ No. It can’t be. He couldn’t have just heard Sokka’s thoughts.  _

It makes no sense. Zuko has encountered the Avatar and his friends  _ countless  _ times, now. Hell, he’s fought in close quarters with Sokka before, and never has he heard…  _ that. _

It almost sounded like Sokka was right behind him, whispering in his ear. Like he was  _ in his head. _ And  _ fuck,  _ is Zuko going crazy? Maybe it’s sleep deprivation. Maybe it’s the same thing that happened to him in Ba Sing Se, when he decided to let Appa go. 

Or maybe…

_ No. _

As Katara makes the final call and Zuko hears himself saying, “I won’t let you down,” he shakes the thought from his mind. He chalks it up to sleep deprivation and coming down from an adrenaline high after fighting with the assassin that he hired to kill the Avatar, and  _ shit, _ every other terrible thing he has ever done, and decides that he’s just hearing things. That _has_ to be it, because he doesn't want to consider the alternative. His life is already a mess, and another complication is the _last_ thing he needs, so he pushes it down, ignores it, writes it off. 

He tells himself that he’s just imagining things, even as he follows Sokka down the wide hallway of one of the temple’s buildings not even ten minutes later, because it would just be  _ ridiculous _ if he could hear the other boy’s thoughts. Sure, he has changed, but that couldn’t possibly mean -

“So, here you go,” Sokka’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts as he gestures toward a small bedroom on the northern end of the building. “Home sweet home. I guess. For now.”

Zuko steps past Sokka and into the room, taking the space in. The Western Air Temple isn’t unfamiliar to him, but he feels…  _ different _ standing in this building now, nearly four years after he first set foot in it. So much has changed since then. _He_ has changed so much since then. 

“Unpack. Lunch, soon…” Sokka continues rambling behind him, “Uh… welcome aboard?”

And then, he hears it again. It almost sounds quieter, far away, but at the same time like the words are whispered in his ear. _Intimate_. Just for him. 

**_“You can do this, Sokka. This doesn’t change things.”_ **

And Zuko quickly turns, half expecting the other boy to be standing directly behind him. Instead, he finds Sokka still lingering awkwardly in the doorway. 

“What did you just say?” Zuko asks. His mouth suddenly feels dry. His heart drops to his stomach. He doesn't know if he wants to hear the answer to his question. 

Deep down, he knows that Sokka didn’t  _ say _ anything - at least not out loud - but he has to know. 

Sokka, in return, simply fixes Zuko with a confused look, eyes narrowed, head cocked slightly to the side. “Uh… Lunch,” he mutters, “I don't know if you guys _eat_ in the Fire Nation, but... yeah.”

Zuko swallows, even though his throat feels like the desert. 

“Right.”

He wants to believe that he’s hearing things, but deep down, he knows exactly what just happened. He remembers reading about it in a forbidden book that his uncle gave to him when he was just a child. It was a cheesy romance novel, but Zuko soaked up every word of it, daydreaming about finding the person that the spirits had chosen just for him. 

And all this time, he thought he _didn’t_ have a soulmate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVED writing from Zuko's point of view and you'll definitely see that more in future chapters! 
> 
> Also, in case I didn't make it very clear, Zuko changing sides and going through this huge emotional/spiritual overhaul is why he can suddenly hear Sokka's thoughts. Previously, Zuko didn't feel that it was his destiny to find love because he was so focused on capturing the Avatar, returning home and reclaiming his honor, but now that that has changed, his capacity for love has too.
> 
> IM JUST REALLY EXCITED TO WRITE A BUNCH ABOUT ZUKO BEING WORTHY OF LOVE, OKAY??


	3. we'll be heroes or ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, finally some interaction between these two! I really loved writing this chapter and am super excited for the next one.
> 
> I really want to try to keep these updates regular, but just a forewarning, I’ll likely be going back to work this week so the schedule might get a little funky. I’m working on the next few chapters though so they should be up soon!

_ And we will burn the fleet,  
We can never go home;  
It's on to victory or under ground.  
Burn the fleet, we'll be heroes or ghosts  
But we won't be turned around.  
_ \- [Burn The Fleet](https://open.spotify.com/track/4Cq9KdtlA2VyRFtc2ykhuU?si=KYvckpOET-6hWv2w7PUMNg) \- Thrice

* * *

To say that things feel _ strange _ after Zuko joins the group would be an understatement. There are so many layers to  _ how fucking weird _ this all is that Sokka honestly doesn’t know what to focus on first. 

For starters, Zuko - _Prince_ Zuko, _Zuko,_ _prince of the Fire Nation and heir to the throne_ \- has been hunting them for the better part of a year, and searching for the Avatar for the past _three years_ of his life. Up until very recently, Sokka had thought of Zuko as the embodiment of evil, their greatest threat other than the Fire Lord.

For spirits’ sake, just when they  _ thought _ he might actually be on their side in Ba Sing Se, he turned on them when they needed him the most. Although  _ he _ didn’t shoot the lightning, he was instrumental in Aang’s near-death experience. And after all of that  _ he hired an assassin to come finish the job. _ Come on, how much worse could the guy get? 

But he comes to them with sincerity in his voice,  _ and _ he fights off Combustion Man,  _ and _ Aang seems to trust him… so they let him in. Even though Sokka can’t hear his thoughts and therefore, can’t say for sure if he actually trusts him completely, they let him in.

_ And that’s another thing! _

Sokka can’t hear Zuko’s thoughts. At least, not right away. Which is comically ironic, considering the fact that, up until very recently, Sokka absolutely  _ resented _ the fact that he could hear the other boy’s ( ~~ his soulmate’s ~~ ) thoughts. 

And that only complicates things further. Can Zuko hear  _ his _ thoughts? Has Zuko known this whole time and just continued to attack and chase them? Has he pushed it down, too? And if so, why would Sokka  _ ever _ want to end up with someone like that? How in the world could someone who didn’t accept their own fate possibly make him happy?

_ Oh. _

Right.

Okay, so  _ that’s  _ a little hypocritical. But  _ still. _

Sokka doesn’t dwell on  _ that, _ though. They already have enough to worry about. 

After Aang comes back from his trip with Zuko - alive and in one piece and with an apparent  _ complete _ understanding of the art of firebending - Sokka would be lying if he said that he didn’t trust the other teen just a  _ little _ bit more. Although it feels weird, looking at Zuko from across the campfire and  _ not _ anticipating an attack or an ambush, it is also relieving. 

Maybe, he finds himself thinking, they can finally move forward. Get some closure. 

Sokka doesn’t spend much time around Zuko at first, and he sort of prefers it that way. It’s odd, looking at the firebender and on one hand, still feeling a sense of distrust and hatred, and on the other, feeling… 

Well, he’s not  _ sure _ what he feels. It’s weird,  _ okay? _

It’s weird, looking at Zuko and  _ knowing _ that at one point, the spirits had deemed him Sokka’s soulmate. It’s weird, wondering if Zuko knows - if he  _ ever _ knew. 

And it’s weird, feeling a sense of  _ longing _ when he wonders why he can’t hear Zuko’s thoughts anymore. 

Thankfully,  _ that _ doesn’t last for long.

* * *

While Aang and Zuko spend most of their days practicing their firebending together, Sokka keeps himself busy by training with The Duke or hunting for food. Occasionally, however, when he wants to get away from everyone and clear his mind for a bit, Sokka makes up the excuse of hunting or looking for supplies, and ventures out into the woods with his sword to practice. 

Sure, he gets a little combat practice in with Toph, who is  _ happy _ to shoot rocks at him all day, and Katara, who will occasionally throw some ice his way, but everyone, for the most part, is occupied with training Aang.

_ And that’s fine.  _ He gets it.

But Sokka needs to prepare, too. If he’s going to be  _ any _ help in defeating the Fire Lord, he  _ knows _ he needs to get better at hand-to-hand combat, so when everyone else is busy training with Aang, Sokka wanders off into the woods to practice his swordsmanship.

Sure, some might argue that  _ training alone _ won’t really achieve anything, but Sokka spends most of his time just practicing his form, his stance, his stamina and agility. While the others can practice their bending skills till the hippo-cows come home, Sokka needs to get better at  _ this. _ Sure, he learned quite a bit from Master Piandao, but he knows that he can be better.

He  _ needs _ to be better, if they’re going to win this war. 

Thankfully, nobody seems to notice when Sokka is gone for a few hours in the middle of the day, nor do they seem to question it when he returns out of breath and sweaty. At least, not for the first few days. 

It’s on Sokka’s third or fourth trip into the woods, while he’s practicing defensive maneuvers, that he hears something rustling in the foliage behind him. Footsteps. Suddenly, Sokka’s senses are on high alert - he suddenly feels acutely aware of his surroundings - and he raises his blade, ready to fight. 

_ He’s been training for this. He’s ready for this. Come and get him. _

But when Sokka spins, ready to attack, he’s surprised to find Zuko standing behind him. 

_ Zuko, _ who parrys Sokka’s strike with ease, sending his sword flying into the dirt with one of his own broadswords. 

_ “Spirits,  _ Zuko!” Sokka all but yells, clutching at his chest in surprise. He’s embarrassed to admit that his breath is coming in quick bursts, eyes wide, body tense. How Zuko snuck up on him, he has no idea, and now he can’t help but feel a little stupid, a little ashamed. Had he been an  _ actual _ threat, Sokka would have been done for. But he doesn’t  _ say _ that. Instead, he just exclaims, “Are you  _ trying _ to kill me?!”

Zuko, as cool and collected as ever, just offers Sokka a smirk as he lowers his weapon. “You’d know if I was trying to kill you.”

Sokka rolls his eyes and finally, he moves to pick up his sword. _“Ha, ha,_ very funny,” he shoots back, “You think you’re the _jokes_ _guy_ now, huh? Well that’s _my_ job, buddy!” 

Surprisingly, Zuko doesn’t fire back a smartass comment in return. Instead, he just regards Sokka for a long moment before commenting, “Your stance is off.”

Sokka raises his eyebrows at the firebender. He didn’t expect  _ that, _ but honestly, he doesn’t know  _ what _ to expect now that he can’t hear Zuko’s thoughts. 

_ How long was Zuko watching him? _

“You have the basics down, but you’re not quite there,” Zuko continues, approaching Sokka in the clearing. “If you want to be able to disarm your opponent, you need to have a stronger, more solid stance. You need to be able to hold your ground.”

Sokka huffs. If he weren’t holding his sword, he’d probably be crossing his arms like a petulant child. “My stance is fine,” he insists.

“If you want to get knocked on your ass the first time you come across an imperial firebender or a trained guard, then sure,” Zuko just replies with a shrug. 

“I seemed to hold my own just fine against  _ you _ before,” Sokka shoots back. It’s a low blow, but it’s the truth. Although, some of that was thanks to the fact that Sokka could hear his thoughts back then. He could anticipate his attacks. 

To his surprise, his comment actually earns a  _ smile _ from Zuko. And  _ man, _ it’s weird seeing him smile. “You got lucky,” he retorts, “You can’t rely on  _ luck _ during the eclipse.”

Well. He’s not wrong.

Sokka sighs internally, but offers Zuko a sly smirk when he retorts,  _ “Then teach me, great master.” _

Zuko doesn’t dignify Sokka’s teasing with a response. Instead, he simply pulls his other broadsword from its sheath and raises both of his weapons. 

_ Alright. Fine.  _

Sokka can take him.

Sokka effortlessly moves into a fighting stance, and just like that,  _ it’s on. _ Zuko is fast and agile, much like he is when he’s firebending against an opponent, but this is  _ Sokka’s _ element. While Zuko’s moves aren’t  _ easy _ to predict by any means, Sokka is at least proficient in hand-to-hand combat, putting them on a somewhat even playing field. He isn’t a kid anymore, and even though he didn’t have much time with Master Piandao, he’s better than he was before. 

And it fills Sokka with a surge of confidence when Zuko’s eyes widen at his swift moments, the ease at which he blocks his blows and the way that he quickly goes on the offensive. He knows that Zuko didn’t actually expect him to be  _ good, _ and that’s vindicating.

However, it’s also Sokka’s downfall. 

He gets a little cocky, a little too overconfident, and he doesn’t react fast enough when Zuko quickly changes his fighting style, adapting to Sokka’s proficiency. Sokka doesn’t see it coming, because Zuko doesn’t fight exactly like Piandao. He’s lightning fast and unpredictable like a firebender, but fluid and swift like a waterbender - light on his feet when on the offense, like Aang, but sturdy and strong when defending himself against Sokka’s blows, like Toph. 

In fact, it’s that  _ sturdy _ defense that eventually disarms Sokka, knocking him to the dirt when he least expects it, leaving him scrambling forward to grab his sword off the ground before Zuko can claim victory. 

Before Sokka can reach the hilt of his weapon, though, Zuko shoots a fire blast in front of him, and it’s surprising and terrifying enough to cause Sokka to recoil, falling backwards on his ass.

When he glares up at Zuko, he finds the firebender looking down at him, a playful smirk dancing across his face. Sokka feels himself heat up with anger and embarrassment. 

“Not fair!”

“Do you think the Fire Nation will be fair?” Zuko asks as he begins to approach him. He puts his weapons away for now, and reaches a hand out, offering to help him up.

Sokka sighs. Zuko is right, he knows it, he just doesn’t want to admit it. He takes the other teeenager’s hand and hoists himself to his feet. 

“How long were you watching me?” Sokka asks as he dusts himself off, trying to change the subject. He doesn’t want to  _ think _ about the Fire Nation and the looming battle ahead of them right now. 

He hears Zuko’s answer before the other boy opens his mouth.

**_“A while.”_ **

Sokka’s heart nearly stops at the sound of Zuko’s voice in his head. It’s unexpected and unsettling and…

_ Thrilling,  _ to be honest.

There's part of Sokka, buried deep down that actually kind of _missed it_ , especially now that Zuko is part of their team instead of the enemy. He had been wondering if maybe, he had rejected it and pushed it away to the point that spirits decided that they _weren't_ in fact, soulmates, so hearing his voice kind of comes as a relief, in a weird way. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud, of course. 

But before Sokka can react to it, Zuko  _ speaks, _ contradicting his own thoughts.

“Not long.”

And  _ oh. _

_ Oh. Okay. _

Sokka swallows.

So much for  _ that _ being over. 

“Let’s go again,” Sokka demands instead of dignifying Zuko’s thought with a response. He’ll have time to stress and overthink about  _ that _ later. “I’m ready.”

Zuko laughs - he actually fucking  _ laughs _ at Sokka - but it’s this light, airy thing. It’s unlike anything Sokka has ever heard from the firebender before.

It actually sounds…  _ happy. _

“Alright,” Zuko agrees, “But this time, remember - strong stance. Think like an earthbender: low center of gravity, draw your strength from the earth. Don’t let me knock you down.” 

“Got it,” Sokka says with a nod, assuming his defensive stance, sword up, “Let’s go.”

Zuko  _ does _ knock him on his ass at least two more times, but on the fourth try, Sokka  _ finally  _ manages to disarm his opponent.

He tries to ignore the proud smile on Zuko’s face when he helps him up, but he  _ can’t _ , and it does something weird to Sokka’s chest. Something that he immediately pushes down and chooses to ignore. 

“We should probably be getting back to camp,” Sokka announces as they gather up their things, “They’re going to start wondering where we are.”

“Yeah,” Zuko says with a nod, “You’re probably right.”

It’s quiet between the two of them as they begin their trek back to the Air Temple, at least until a question eventually bubbles up in Sokka’s throat. 

“Hey, why were you out here, anyway?” he asks, “Aren’t you supposed to be training with Aang?”

“Toph insisted that he still needed to work on his earthbending, so I had the afternoon off,” Zuko answers with a shrug, “I actually came across  _ you _ when I was looking for a quiet place to meditate…”

Sokka’s eyebrows shoot up. _“You?_ _Meditating?”_ he barks out a laugh, but quickly reigns himself in, “No offense, Zuko, but you don’t strike me as the _tranquil_ type.”

Zuko huffs in annoyance at Sokka’s words, and for a second, he thinks that this might be the end of their conversation. He probably offended him and now he’s going to shut down and become the brooding asshole that they all know and love -

But then, Zuko takes a deep breath, and says, “I’m  _ not.  _ But I’m trying to get better.”

And something tells Sokka that he  _ means _ it.

* * *

The next evening, Sokka gathers the courage to ask Zuko about his father’s whereabouts, and to his surprise, he hears his thoughts yet again.

**_“I can’t tell him. It’ll crush him.”_ **

Zuko  _ does  _ eventually tell him, and when Sokka assures him that he won’t go on some crazy, stupid, reckless reescue mission, he hears him once more -

**_“He’s lying.”_ **

So he’s not surprised when Zuko is waiting for him that night on Appa, nor is he surprised when he already has a plan.

He  _ is  _ surprised, however, when later, Zuko asks a few seemingly simple questions as if he  _ can’t _ hear Sokka’s thoughts too, and -

_ And wait.  _

Sokka had been under the impression that they were just in some bullshit limbo soulmate stalemate where neither of them were going to talk about it, but they both  _ knew… _ but if Zuko can’t hear his thoughts…

Sokka forces himself, while they sit awkwardly together on the war balloon, to think of a few dumb, offensive, uncomfortable and downright funny things to get Zuko’s attention -

_ Hey Zuko, your sister is kinda hot. Like, weird, scary hot. _

_ So this one time, Gran Gran walked in on me when I was alone in the igloo and - _

_ You know, the Fire Lord sure would look pretty if we dressed him up like a girl.  _

_ Firebending is stupid. _

\- but he doesn’t get  _ any _ reaction. No laugh, no anger, no disgust.  _ Nothing.  _ Zuko doesn’t budge, and either he has a great Pai Sho face, or…

Maybe Zuko _can’t_ hear his thoughts. 

Huh. 

Well  _ that _ adds a whole other layer to this stupid, fucked up situation, because if this whole  _ soulmate _ thing is one-sided on Sokka’s part, then that’s pathetic. 

He doesn’t have time to dwell on  _ that, _ though, because they arrive at the prison not long after.

And then, everything descends into chaos. 

First, he finds Suki. Then, his dad. 

Then, he realizes just how great of a team he and Zuko  _ actually _ make. They actually balance each other out well - recklessness with careful precision - and manage to throw together a decent escape plan not once, but  _ twice. _ And when they escape, as they fight Azula together, Sokka can’t help but feel completely in-sync with Zuko, striking out with his sword when Zuko goes on the defense, letting Zuko provide the cover when needed. 

And somehow, they all make it out of there alive.

Sokka is still running high on adrenaline when they steal the airship and when they make it back to base camp, ecstatic to reunite his father and Suki, so he doesn’t immediately notice when Zuko retreats to his temporary bedroom immediately after supper. However, long after the sun has gone down and everyone is trading stories around the campfire, Zuko’s absence is palpable. 

He doesn’t know why he does it, but when Sokka has a moment, he decides to go check on Zuko.

He tells himself it’s because they just went through a pretty intense prison break together, that he wants to make sure the other boy isn’t injured or anything… but really, he just wants to make sure Zuko is doing alright. Fighting your own sister  _ can’t _ be easy, even if she’s a crazy bitch, and Sokka  _ knows _ that the moody girl with the dark hair who saved them was his girlfriend. He must be worried about her.

That, and Sokka is just drawn to Zuko.

It isn’t until Sokka is standing outside of Zuko’s cracked bedroom door that he hesitates, unsure of what he should do or say. Maybe Zuko just needs his space. Maybe he doesn’t  _ want  _ to be bothered. 

Maybe, he needs a friend. 

Ultimately, it’s Zuko’s voice that shakes Sokka out of his thoughts. 

“I’m awake.”

It’s quiet, but definitely  _ real.  _ Definitely something spoken out loud.

Sokka takes a deep breath, then steps into the doorway, scratching awkwardly at the back of his head. “Hey,” he mutters, “I was just taking a walk, and -”

He pauses, glancing up at Zuko, and decides not to lie,  _ just in case.  _

“I just wanted to check on you,” he admits. 

Zuko’s eyes widen slightly at Sokka’s confession, but he’s quick to school his face. “Why?”

And…  _ shit. _ Sokka hadn’t planned this far ahad. For the  _ planning _ guy, he sure is doing a shitty job lately. 

“Well, I -” Sokka starts then stops, “I know that your girlfriend -”

“My  _ ex- _ girlfriend,” Zuko corrects, a bitter tone to his voice. 

“Right… your ex-girlfriend…” Sokka echoes. He clears his throat. “Well, I know that she risked herself for us, and I know that you probably think that I can’t imagine what it feels like to - well, to see someone you care about  _ do that _ for you, but -”

“I know you weren’t kidding about the  _ moon thing,  _ Sokka,” Zuko interrupts, voice taking on a gentle tone, “My uncle was there. He told me.”

“Oh,” Sokka breathes, “Right.”

“And  _ thank you,” _ Zuko continues, “But I’m okay. I’m used to losing the people I care about.”

Sokka cringes at Zuko’s choice of words. He’s not naive anymore. He knows that the Fire Nation, and  _ especially _ the Fire Lord, can be ruthless, even to their own people. Sokka is sure that Zuko  _ intimately _ understands the pain of loss. 

“I’m sure she’s okay,” Sokka tries to comfort Zuko, but he barely gets the words out before the firebender cuts him off. 

“My sister is ruthless,” he mutters, a hint of venom and  _ pain _ in his voice that Sokka has never heard before.

“If she hasn’t -” Zuko pauses, pulls himself together, then continues, “If Mai is  _ alive _ , then Azula locked her away somewhere that we will never be able to find her.”

And…  _ fuck. _ There’s really no arguing with that. Sokka takes a deep breath, then softly, says, “Well, then we better win this war, huh?”

And in response, Zuko just lets out a deep sigh and mutters, “Yeah.”


	4. i don't know the first thing about love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we fuckin’ go! I’m so excited to share this chapter because it was some of the first dialogue that I wrote out when I started working on this story. It’ll also hopefully give some explanation as to why Zuko couldn’t hear Sokka at first and why Sokka has been having a hard time hearing Zuko lately.

_I speak in many tongues to many men;  
Argue with angels and I always win,  
_ _But I don't know the first thing about love._  
\- [Moving Mountains](https://open.spotify.com/track/75kxTEh0K9IIg8sXZMdGk6?si=LSq9yMEbQoqGlrmUZyMGCQ) \- Thrice

* * *

Sokka doesn’t have the guts to confront Zuko about their whole… _soulmate_ situation. After their trip to the Boiling Rock and the events that follow, he still can't be entirely sure that it isn't one-sided. 

And that’s the other thing.

Sokka begins hearing Zuko’s thoughts again, but only sparingly, here and there. He hears them when he least expects it, and as time goes on, he begins to wonder if maybe, he’s broken. Maybe the spirits really _did_ mess up when they paired the two of them together. After all, it had seemed pretty clear that Zuko _couldn’t_ hear his thoughts, and it was already weird enough that Sokka could, then he couldn’t and now he _can_ again…

Just _thinking_ about it makes his head spin.

So he doesn’t think about it. At least, he tries not to. 

Sokka pushes it far from his mind and focuses on the task at hand: helping Aang prepare to defeat the Fire Lord. 

After Azula successfully snuffs out their hiding spot - and Zuko nearly _dies_ in the process - _Team Avatar_ is on the run again, which finds them traveling each day, seeking shelter at night, and starting all over again in the morning. Just like old times. It’s a pain in the ass, but it’s also nice. In a weird way, it makes Sokka nostalgic for a time that was a bit simpler, when the end of the world wasn’t on their doorstep, when Aang hadn’t almost died and when Zuko wasn’t part of their group.

Not that he’d _prefer_ Zuko chasing and trying to kill them, but it’s _weird_ , okay?

Even weirder is sitting around a campfire, swapping stories from back home and occasionally glancing at Zuko’s face from across the fire, wondering what he’s thinking. Wondering if he knows. 

After Katara _finally_ forgives Zuko, operating together as a group becomes quite a bit easier, which means spending more quality time around him, which is both _good and bad._

One evening in particular, it puts Sokka on the spot.

They’re about a day’s ride away from Ember Island, where Zuko insists that they'll remain safe from Azula and the rest of the Fire Nation, and the mood is relaxed as they sit around the campfire. The conversation is lighthearted, as the group reminisces on their favorite home-cooked meals back home and daydreams about what they can’t wait to do once everything is over - once they bring peace and harmony back to the world. 

It’s a naive, hopeful conversation, and after expressing his desire to travel the world and try new foods, Sokka sort of stops paying attention. After that, it devolves into an argument about which Earth Kingdom dish is the best, whether the seafood from the South or North Pole is better and - bless Aang’s heart - why there aren’t more vegetarian options in the Fire Nation. 

Then, eventually, the conversation shifts. Sokka’s not sure when or how, but slowly, the group begins talking about _what_ they miss, _who_ they miss back home and what they want to do in the future, and honestly, Sokka doesn’t even want to _think_ about that right now. Even as Katara’s hand subconsciously reaches up to touch her necklace, Sokka shakes the thought from his head.

Frankly, the future is just as terrifying, if not more so, than the present, and he really doesn’t want to think about it. Obviously, that’s partially thanks to the looming comet and Aang’s destiny to face the Fire Lord, but Sokka would be lying if he said that the future didn’t stress him out because of his whole _soulmate_ situation, too. 

As the rest of the group chatters away, Sokka glances across the fire, where Zuko sits to Aang’s left and Toph’s right, and he finds himself staring at Zuko’s hands, mind running away with him. 

When he eventually glances up, it’s to find Zuko’s gaze trained on him before he quickly glances away.

“I’m surprised that you two _lovebirds_ haven’t mentioned settling down once this is all over,” Toph teases from across the fire and Sokka’s eyes widen at her comment, wondering how she could sense what he was thinking, but he quickly realizes that she’s teasing Katara and Aang - not him. That would be dumb, of course. How would Toph know? And settling down with _Zuko?_ Yeah, right. 

Aang and Katara, of course, react comically. Just like they do whenever _anyone_ brings up the subject of their will-they-won’t-they relationship, it ends with the two of them sputtering, trying to brush off Toph’s blunt comment. 

Toph doesn’t let up. Man, Sokka is glad that she’s part of the group.

“Oh don’t act like you two aren’t _soulmates,”_ she teases in a lovey-dovey, singsong voice, “Don’t forget that I can feel the way your hearts practically beat out of your chests whenever you’re around each other.”

“Toph!” Katara exclaims, scandalized. Even in the low light of the fire, her face looks bright red, and Sokka and Suki have to stifle their laughs in response.

Surprisingly, Aang keeps his cool. 

“Actually, the Avatar can’t _have_ a soulmate,” he admits, and at his words, the entire group goes quiet. The admission feels quite… _sad,_ actually, but Aang quickly recovers, assuring that that’s not the case. 

“I mean, at least, that’s what the monks told me,” he says with a shrug, “It makes sense, really. As the bridge between the spirit world and this world, it wouldn’t be fair to only have one soulmate, especially considering the fact that all of my lives are connected -” 

He then glances at Katara, quickly realizing the implication of his words, and awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck. Sometimes, Sokka forgets that he’s just a gangly, bumbling twelve year old, but right now, it’s very clear. “But I suppose that doesn’t mean I can’t be someone _else’s_ soulmate, even if I can’t hear _their_ thoughts…”

An awkward silence follows Aang’s admission as he and Katara try desperately not to make eye contact, and before he can stop himself, Sokka breaks it. 

He doesn’t know what possesses him to ask the question, why he doesn’t just quit while he’s ahead, because he’s _never_ willingly discussed soulmates with his friends or sister or _especially_ Zuko, but he can’t help it. It’s something that has been on his mind quite a bit for the last few days and weeks (and months, if he’s being honest) and if Aang knows so much about it, maybe he’ll have an answer. “But don’t soulmates have to go both ways? It wouldn’t really be fair if it was one-sided…”

Everyone turns their attention away from the lovebirds on the other side of the fire and looks at Sokka - Zuko included. Realizing the way that his words came off, he swallows and feigns indifference. “I mean, not that I care about all of that spirit mumbo jumbo…”

“You _should_ care!” Katara insists, probably just glad that the conversation has shifted away from her and Aang. And _here we go._ She’d always get all over him about making fun of soulmates when they were younger. “Mom and dad were soulmates. If it weren’t for them finding each other, you wouldn’t even _be_ here.”

Sokka opens his mouth to argue with her, but thankfully, Aang interrupts before he can say something stupid. 

“I get what you’re saying, Sokka!” he insists, “It wouldn’t seem fair if it were one-sided. I mean… I haven’t really asked my past lives about their… _romantic_ lives, but I know that many of them married and had children…”

“So that’s proof that soulmates _don’t_ matter, then,” Toph interjects. 

_Boom._ Sokka loves Toph. He’d high five her, if it wouldn’t give him away. 

“Well, yes and no!” Aang answers, his voice taking on the same excited tone that it does when he talks about something _airbender_ related. Because it has been one-hundred years since the airbenders died, Aang relishes any chance he can get to talk about their culture and educate those around him. This is no different. “From what the monks taught us, the spirits determine who your soulmate is, but _you_ are in control of your own fate. That’s why some people might have multiple soulmates, or some have none at all. Some people might even know their soulmate for a long time before it just… _clicks!"_

He continues, "According to the monks, some people can be more in-tune with it than others... you might even know somebody your whole life, but can only hear their thoughts _after_ you fall in love.”

 _Or,_ Sokka finds himself thinking, _maybe it can affect when and how you hear their thoughts if you’re a fucked up, confused mess._

He chances a glance at Zuko over the fire and is grateful to find that the firebender is looking up at Aang as he speaks. Maybe, that explains why Zuko can’t hear him. It's no secret that the guy is emotionally constipated. And it probably explains why _he_ couldn’t hear Zuko for a while, too. That makes sense. Or, at least, as much sense as soulmates and spirits can make. 

“That’s so interesting…” Suki muses, shaking Sokka from his thoughts. “On Kyoshi Island, we never really concerned ourselves with soulmates all that much, but I like the idea that you can have some say in your destiny...”

She glances at Sokka, who swallows and averts his gaze. “Yeah, the idea that the spirits just _choose_ someone for you is a little messed up,” he mutters, “What if you don’t even _like_ them?”

Toph snorts, “Sokka, haven’t you already learned that the spirits are never wrong?”

_Well, what if they are?_

Sokka doesn’t ask that question out loud, but he thinks it. He wants to look up at Zuko again, wants to see what _he_ thinks of this turn in the conversation, but he can’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he decides to pick a fight with Toph.

“Oh _come on,_ Toph, don’t tell me _you’re_ falling for this spirit nonsense, too,” Sokka groans. And here he thought she was on _his_ side.

“Hey,” she shrugs, “I’m not going to argue with science.”

Sokka wants to argue that spirits _aren’t_ science, but that’ll get him nowhere. So instead, he decides to taunt her playfully. “Well, then have you found _your_ soulmate yet? I can only imagine what _they’re_ like.”

Toph takes the bait, letting out a loud, amused laugh. “I’m the greatest earthbender in the world! Do you _really_ think anyone is worthy of me?”

And at that, the gang erupts into loud laughter. Leave it to Toph to say something bold enough to break the serious mood of the conversation.

But of course, once things settle down and a comfortable silence falls over the group, Aang just _has_ to open his mouth. _Learn to read the room, kid._

“Well, have you found _your_ soulmate, Sokka?”

The question is _innocent_ enough, especially considering the fact that _Aang doesn’t know,_ but it still causes Sokka to freeze, unsure of how to answer the question.

Katara not-so-stealthily elbows Aang in the ribs, as if to tell him not to ask such a personal question - and he swears he even sees her lips form the name _Yue_ from across the fire…

And with a quick glance up at the full moon above them, Sokka finds himself wishing that Yue would have been his soulmate. Sure, it would have been painful in an entirely different way, but at least he knew that he loved her. At least she’d always be there.

Or even _Suki._ Sweet, caring, fearless Suki. Of course, he’d love to have her as his soulmate, but -

But Sokka can’t help himself when his gaze shifts to a specific spot across the fire, and he tells himself that he’s imagining things when he spies Zuko looking at him intently, as if waiting for an answer.

For a moment, Sokka considers telling the truth, just to see what happens. He thinks about admitting that, _yes,_ he has found his soulmate, just to see what Zuko’s reaction is.

But he doesn’t.

“No,” Sokka hears himself mutter, even as everything inside of him screams at him to tell the truth. “And I stand by my original statement - soulmates are stupid anyway.”

And he _swears_ that he’s imagining things when a look of pain and disappointment flashes across Zuko’s face.

* * *

Sokka can’t sleep.

Long after the fire goes out - after they _let_ the fire go out, considering the fact that they have two master firebenders in the group now - and everyone else goes to bed, Sokka _still_ can’t sleep. He keeps replaying the events of the night over and over in his head. He keeps thinking back to the conversation about soulmates, and Yue and Suki and… _Zuko._

He can’t stop thinking about what Aang said - that the spirits choose someone for you, but it’s up to _you_ to choose the path you take. And he can’t help but think back to his own parents. They were undoubtedly soulmates. It was love at first sight, he remembers his mother telling Katara whenever she pestered her about it. 

_“We just looked at each other and we knew,”_ she’d always say. 

Sokka always thought it sounded like a fairytale - too good to be true. Realistically, he knows how fiercely his father and mother loved each other and how _broken_ his father was after she was taken from them. After she was killed, it was like a piece of him died, too. 

So sure, Sokka always thought that soulmates were stupid, but deep down, he also hoped that one day, he’d find a love like the one his parents had - one that _completed_ you, one that made you feel whole, made you _better._

But, because the spirits are cruel assholes, they decided to saddle him with someone like Zuko.

As he lies awake that night, though, _wishing_ that it could have been easy - that it could have been Yue or Suki - he keeps going back to Aang’s words. 

_Some people might even know their soulmate for a long time before it just… clicks._

Is that what the spirits had in mind for him and Zuko? That maybe, someday down the line, he’d just look at the other boy and _get it?_

Shaking that thought from his head, Sokka decides that he doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts any longer and, as quietly as he can, he shimmies out of his sleeping bag, throws on his shoes, and heads out into the night. He needs to take a walk, clear his head. He shouldn’t even be _thinking_ about all of this soulmate nonsense when they have more important things to worry about. You know, like saving the entire world.

Sokka quickly and quietly makes his way through camp, careful not to disturb anyone. The last thing he wants is to wake up Suki or _god forbid,_ Zuko, or even Aang. He’s not sure he could take any more wisdom from the kid right now. 

By the time Sokka is walking past Appa and Momo, a finger pressed to his lips to tell them to be quiet, he thinks he has made it. _Finally_ , he’ll get a few quiet, peaceful moments to himself, then _maybe,_ he’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep. But as he walks past Appa, he hears the telltale crunch of footsteps, just a few feet behind him, and -

Sokka turns quickly, drawing his sword and assuming a fighting stance, only to find…

Toph, standing just behind him, a playful smirk spread across her face. 

“You’re not as quiet as you think,” Toph simply says in greeting, her voice hushed. 

Sokka deflates at the sight of her and sheaths his sword. So much for some alone time.

 _“Toph!”_ he whispers harshly, “What are you doing up?”

She simply shrugs in response, her hands behind her back. “I could ask you the same question.” 

Sokka makes a face at Toph, even though she can’t see it, then quickly comes up with an excuse. “I needed to pee.”

“You’re a bad liar,” Toph shoots back with a grin. 

Frustrated, Sokka throws his arms up in the air. He wants to argue with her, ask her why she’s so concerned about him, why she followed him and why she’s asking so many questions, but he knows that it doesn’t matter. Toph has made up her mind, and once she’s done that, there’s no changing it. No wonder she’s an earthbender. She’s stubborn as hell. 

Sokka sighs, deflating. “Fine, I was going on a walk to clear my head.”

“Great, I’ll come with!” Toph all but exclaims, earning a groan from Sokka in response. 

“That kind of defeats the purpose of _clearing my head,”_ he mutters, but doesn’t move to stop her. 

Toph simply takes a few steps forward, grabs Sokka’s hand, and begins to drag him off into the night. “Don’t worry, I’m a good listener,” she insists, “Besides, judging by the way your heart was racing around the campfire tonight, it seems like you have a lot to get off your chest.”

“Hey!” Sokka exclaims before he can think to stop himself. He quickly yanks his hand from Toph to slap it over his mouth, eyes wide. 

_Right, try not to wake up the whole camp, Sokka._

Toph doesn’t stop walking, but over her shoulder teases, “Do you _want_ to wake everyone up?”

With a sigh, Sokka shakes his head, then begrudgingly begins to follow Toph into the dark night, jogging to catch up with her. He stays quiet, at least, until they’re far enough from camp to talk, and mutters, “I don’t appreciate you invading my _personal space_ like that, you know. Not cool, Toph, _not cool_.”

Toph, in response, just laughs. Naturally. “You _do_ realize that’s how I _see,_ right?” she shoots back, “Not my fault I could feel you freaking out. I’m sure your face was just as telling.”

“I’ll have you know I’m _great_ at masking my emotions, _thankyouverymuch_ _!”_ Sokka retorts, then immediately cringes at his choice of words and the fact that he just basically confirmed that he _has_ been dealing with some emotional turmoil. How the hell did she do that?

 _“Mhm,”_ Toph hums. Deciding that they’ve found a decent place to stop and talk - even in the dark, Sokka can make out the jutting cliff face and beach below them - she takes a seat and pats the ground next to her. “Something tells me _that’s_ also a lie.”

Even as Sokka takes a seat in the grass next to her, he huffs, muttering, “Will you _stop that?”_

In return, Toph just shoots back, “Will you tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

Sokka sighs, averting his gaze even though Toph can’t see him. He glances to his right, eyes searching for their campsite in the dark landscape. From where they sit, he can make out the silhouette of Appa’s form in the distance, but otherwise, their camp is hard to spot.

He really doesn’t _want_ to talk about this. He was trying to get away so he _didn’t_ have to deal with this, and although Toph is a great friend - hell she’s one of the few people that really _gets_ Sokka - he really doesn’t appreciate her getting all up in his business. 

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Sokka insists, breaking the palpable silence between them. “Did you ever consider that _maybe,_ I’m just freaking out because we have to fight the Fire Lord soon?”

“I mean, we’re _all_ freaking out about that,” Toph retorts with a playful smack to Sokka’s arm. It’s true - they are. It’s easy to feel the tension in their group. But…

“But really, Sokka,” she insists, “Lay it on me.”

Sokka takes a deep breath and holds it for a few seconds before exhaling it on another sigh. There’s really no point in avoiding the truth or lying to Toph. No matter what he says, she’ll snuff it out. 

But, before Sokka has a chance to form the right words or find a way to dance around the subject, Toph asks, “It’s about the soulmate thing, isn’t it?”

“What? _No._ Of course not. Why would you say that?” Sokka sputters, realizing belatedly that he just lied _twice_ in that one sentence, and even if he hadn’t, Toph would have easily been able to tell that he was panicking by the way his pulse spikes and his body tenses. Man, why did he have to wake up the fucking _truth seer_ in their group? 

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t just hear _that_ lie,” Toph says with a chuckle, “And it’s because I’m a people person. Obviously.”

Sokka groans. He draws his knees up to his chest and buries his head in them, muttering a half-hearted, muffled “I hate you,” through his defense. 

“Also a lie,” Toph retorts, and Sokka can _hear_ the smile in her voice. When she speaks again after a beat of silence, though, she sounds a little more serious. “I could tell by the tone of your voice that you were interested in the subject, but as soon as they started asking _you_ questions, you freaked out.”

Sokka huffs in annoyance, but turns his head to face Toph, his cheek resting on his knees. “You know, you’d make a great detective one day.”

Toph snorts. “I’ll add that to my list of potential jobs once this is all over.” Sokka’s gentle teasing doesn’t dissuade her from pushing the subject, though, and after another moment, she asks, “But I’m right, aren’t I?”

Sokka’s throat feels thick when he swallows and mumbles, _“Yeah.”_

There’s no point in lying. No reason he should avoid it. He just hopes that Toph shows some discrecion and doesn’t go running around camp telling everyone about _this_ development. Thankfully, she’s quiet for a long minute, as if letting Sokka’s admission really sink in, so hopefully that means she understands that this is a delicate topic.

“I know you were lying…” she murmurs at last, breaking the silence between them, “When you said you didn’t know who your soulmate was.”

Sokka’s eyes go wide in response, but honestly, he should be surprised. Toph _was_ sitting pretty close to him. And he’s a terrible liar, he has always known that. 

Still, he doesn’t say anything in response. His throat feels tight. His body feels numb. He doesn’t know _what_ to say. It’s not that he _hates_ Zuko by any means - the other teenager has clearly proven that he has changed, that he knows he was wrong, before - but Sokka also didn’t _choose_ to have him as a soulmate. Hell, _they_ haven’t even talked about it yet. He doesn’t even know if it’s reciprocated. And _god,_ how fucked up would it be if it wasn’t?

“Why did you lie?” Toph asks, her voice cutting through Sokka’s inner turmoil. 

Sokka just sighs, but he doesn’t bury his face back into his knees again. Instead, he props his chin up on them, staring out into the cool night. “Look, I appreciate your concern, but you don’t need to worry about me. It’s stupid and complicated and you really wouldn’t care.”

“Hey, I’m a pro at dealing with complicated emotions!” Toph assures excitedly with his arms outstretched.

Sokka just glances at her and deadpans, “Toph, you literally ran away from home.”

Thankfully, the earthbender either appreciates his brand of humor or doesn’t really mind his slight dig at her inability to deal with her _own_ complicated emotions, because she just laughs in response, then elbows him roughly and insists, “Hit me!”

In a weird way, Sokka kind of _does_ want to tell Toph. Sure, he has talked to Aunt Wu and even Yue about it, but that was… different. They didn’t _know_ Zuko. They didn’t fully understand. Toph does. But he knows that if he says it out loud, if he tells her, it’ll only solidify this more, and he’s not sure if he wants that. 

Toph easily senses his hesitation and infers, “You’re afraid I’ll tell the others…”

Sokka doesn't immediately say anything in response, but his silence is telling.

“Toph -”

“Look,” Toph interrupts before he can say anything else, “I know I like to tease and give you all grief, but you’re my _friend,_ Sokka. Heck, I like you more than the rest of them, if I’m being completely honest. There’s obviously a reason why you haven’t told the group, and I can keep that secret. Promise.”

He doesn’t immediately agree to tell her, but instead mutters, “If you say _a word,_ I’m telling them all that you said you like me the most.”

Toph grins, but in a serious tone insists, “Cross my heart.”

At that, Sokka takes a deep breath and holds it. The words are there on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t bring himself to say them.

Toph is good at reading people, though, and immediately understands that it’s not the person that most would assume. 

“It isn't Suki, _is it?”_ Her voice takes on this sort of sad quality with the question and Sokka cringes again, burying his head in his knees once more.

_No. It’s not Suki. It would be so much easier if it were Suki. Caring, kind, brave, unwavering Suki._

Sokka doesn’t even know what to say in response. How could he even begin to explain to her that it’s -

 _“Zuko,”_ she breathes, finishing Sokka’s thought for him, and he goes rigid at the name. He doesn’t need to answer. Doesn’t need to confirm her suspicion. He knows that his heart is likely betraying him. Toph will be able to tell. 

Still, she asks, “It’s _him_ , isn’t it?”

“Toph -” Sokka all but groans, his voice pained, but she quickly cuts him off, tone suddenly light at teasing, almost conversational, as if she didn't just discover that Sokka's _soulmate_ is the guy who was trying to _kill_ them months ago.

“So, when you guys get married or whatever, does that make you co-Fire Lords or what? Can you make me an ambassador or something so I can come knock some Fire Nation skulls or -”

 _“Seriously?”_ Sokka all but squawks at her, _“That’s_ what you’re concerned about?”

Toph just laughs and insists, “It’s a legitimate question, Sokka!”

Normally, under any other circumstances, Sokka would humor her teasing, but right now, he just… _can’t._ He sighs, scrubbing his hands through his loose hair. “I think that’s the _least_ of my worries...”

And _finally,_ Toph seems to sense that Sokka isn’t _joking_ here. After a beat of silence, she asks, voice serious, “How long have you known?”

Sokka swallows. No use in lying. 

“A while.”

Toph nods. “And does he -”

“I don’t think he can hear _my_ thoughts, if that’s what you’re wondering. Or if he can, he's not really eager to talk about it,” Sokka answers before she can get the question out. He shakes his head, “It’s stupid, anyway. I’m with Suki and he has _Mai,_ and even if we _were_ compatible - which we _aren’t_ \- the Fire Lord outlawed same sex relationships _decades_ ago. It’s not like his culture or people would even accept it. Hell, _he’d_ probably hate it and -”

“But you like him, _don’t you?”_ Toph asks, cutting Sokka’s rambling short. 

_Oh._

“No!” Sokka quickly exclaims. Then, “I don’t know. I mean - it’s… _complicated.”_

Sokka wishes that he could go back in time and tell himself to shut up, not to word-vomit everything on Toph like that. He didn’t even realize that he was _doing_ it, but nearly a year of keeping all of that inside will do that to you, and it was easy to say he hated Zuko when he was the enemy, but now that he’s turned over a new leaf, now that Sokka has gotten to know him - well, it _complicates_ things, okay?

Sokka doesn’t see him like that, though. At least, he doesn’t _think_ he does. _Does he?_

It’s stupid. The spirits are stupid for throwing this all on him. 

“Well _yeah,”_ Toph replies with a laugh, “I mean, he chased you guys for _how long?”_

“I know,” Sokka groans, tugging at his hair. He presses his face into his knees. “I _know_ he’s good now, but everything about this is just so wrong. The spirits _hate me.”_

For a moment, Toph doesn’t say anything in response, letting Sokka just stew in his thoughts before quietly murmuring, “You know, I’m not really into all of that spiritey gobbledygook either, but Aang was right about one thing, Sokka… they haven’t been wrong so far.”

He groans again. “Well, there’s a first time for everything.” And then, before he can really think it through or stop himself, he adds, “Besides, I’m obviously not _his_ soulmate, so it doesn’t matter.”

He really doesn’t mean for _that_ thought to slip out, but apparently once he starts talking, he can’t stop. Honestly, he didn’t even think that it was something that bothered him, and if Toph calls him on it, he might even insist that it _doesn’t._ Because he doesn’t care if he’s Zuko’s soulmate. Because he certainly doesn’t want to _end up_ with Zuko. Because this is _clearly_ a mistake.

Right?

_Right?_

Before Sokka can spiral into a full-on existential crisis, Toph interrupts, voice surprisingly gentle.

“I won’t tell anyone. Promise.”

Deep down, Sokka can’t help but wonder if she’s promising not to tell anyone about the soulmate situation in general, or the more pressing issue of his own apparently repressed feelings about it all. Either way, he appreciates the fact that she doesn’t push, that she apparently understands that it needs to be left alone for now, and after a moment, he nudges at her with his shoulder, offering a soft, “Thanks, Toph.”

And in true _Toph_ fashion, she simply elbows him back and retorts, "I _will_ tell this story at your wedding, though."

She laughs when Sokka just curls in on himself and groans again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless Toph Beifong, am I right??
> 
> Also, just to make this VERY clear, Sokka is feeling very conflicted about Zuko being his soulmate *only* because he's a firebender/he attacked their village/he hunted them for nearly a year, not because he has any internalized homophobia or anything like that. I'd like to think that Sokka is definitely comfortable with his sexuality. Canonically, the Fire Lord did outlaw same sex relationships, but I'd like to think that this isn't the case in the other nations. (I also vaguely remember there being a gay couple in the Earth Kingdom in one of the "lost stories" comics as well).


	5. to not let my fears decide my fate

_I want to be strong enough,  
_ _To not let my fears decide my fate_  
-[The Sky Is Falling](https://open.spotify.com/track/48AxSoAdKL08nKvqnsIrWC?si=ZNCDNZFcRPWS0_Cqkncp6Q) \- Thrice

* * *

Zuko knows anger. Zuko knows anger _intimately._ Anger is what fueled his search for the Avatar for nearly four years. Anger is what got him, his uncle and the rest of his crew out of some sticky situations more than once. Anger is where, for the longest time, Zuko drew his firebending from - a deep-seeded rage buried in his chest, one that was planted when he was just a child and began to bloom during his banishment and search for the Avatar.

But Zuko can’t hold onto anger forever. _Anger will only destroy you, Zuko._ It’s something that his uncle has _always_ told him, but he doesn’t quite understand it until he’s facing his father, holding all of the power in the world in his hands, then, choses to redirect the lightning just over his shoulder. Zuko makes the decision to let go of his anger the second that he choses to leave, to forsake his destiny as the crowned prince of the Fire Nation to join the Avatar. 

And in doing so, he learns a lot about himself. 

First and foremost, he learns that, despite spending nearly seventeen years of his life thinking that he was destined to end up alone, he apparently _does_ have a soulmate. 

_Sokka._

He doesn’t believe it at first, but the more that he hears the other Water Tribe warrior’s thoughts - it happens in random spurts, when Zuko least expects it - the less he can deny it. Sokka is his soulmate, and Zuko has absolutely no idea what it means.

They’ve known one another for nearly a year, so why is he just hearing him now? Is it because of everything they’ve gone through? Is it because of their past? Is it simply because Zuko has changed so much that _now_ they’re compatible? What the Avatar said around the campfire that night - about how sometimes, soulmates can know each other before a long time before something just _clicks_ \- was that _true?_ Did this just change for Sokka, too? And what does _he_ think?

 _Fuck,_ what he would give for a nice cup of tea and a conversation with his uncle, right now. 

Zuko has so many questions, but he doesn’t voice them. His mission _now_ is to train the Avatar - to defeat his father - and just as he made the decision to leave Mai behind during this journey, he makes the decision to bury the whole _soulmate_ thing for now, too.

And for the most part, it’s actually pretty easy. Although it’s definitely a little awkward at first, Zuko slowly begins to feel like part of the group. Soulmate bullshit aside, even he and Sokka form a decent working relationship and, eventually, a comfortable friendship. After their trip to the Boiling Rock to rescue Suki and Hakoda, Zuko feels much more comfortable around Sokka. Whether it’s because he finally knows that he can trust the Water Tribe warrior, the fact that - even though it’s confusing as hell - they’re soulmates, or because he’s just easy to be around, Zuko actually finds himself gravitating to him.

But they don't talk about it.

Occasional sparring whenever he isn’t training Aang becomes routine between the two of them, and of everyone in the group, Zuko feels the most at-ease around Sokka. He tells himself that it’s because Sokka has never actively tried to kill him or vice versa, that maybe it’s because of his easy-going attitude and sense of humor, but honestly…

Zuko just enjoys Sokka’s company. He can’t remember the last time he actually felt that way about someone. Maybe Mai?

But Sokka is so _different_ from Mai. While she and Zuko _clicked_ because of their shared distaste for, well… _everything,_ Sokka is Zuko’s polar opposite. Not only is that in the literal sense - Sokka is from the Southern Water Tribe and Zuko is heir to the Fire Nation throne - but they’re both so _different._ Losing your mother at a young age, being disfigured and banished by your own father and spending three years at sea at the young age of thirteen will harden you as a person. He knows that Sokka has been through hardships as well, yet the Water Tribe warrior rarely lets it show. He’s always the first to crack a joke, to try to lighten the mood, or suggest taking it easy rather than constantly training. 

But while their personalities should clash, Zuko finds that he and Sokka actually work _well_ together. At the Boiling Rock, he doesn’t have to tell Sokka what to do when fighting Azula - he just _knows._ They are in-sync. And sure, if Sokka can hear his thoughts as well, Zuko could attribute it to that, but he feels that regardless, he and Sokka make a great team. 

Sokka challenges him, and honestly, Zuko needs that right now. So, despite his best efforts to distance himself from the other boy, he only feels drawn to him. 

It’s stupid, really, but he can’t help it. 

And that’s how they fall into an easy rhythm. Whenever Zuko _isn’t_ training with Aang, he finds himself searching out Sokka, asking to spar. Sometimes, they’ll find a secluded spot away from the group so as not to distract them. Other times, it becomes _a whole thing,_ with Aang and Toph cheering excitedly from the sidelines, Katara rolling her eyes in faux-annoyance and Suki critiquing their forms. 

And it feels… _comfortable._

Zuko doesn’t feel angry around Sokka.

Maybe that’s why, even when Sokka interrupts Zuko when he’s meditating or brooding or just trying to find a quiet space to clear his head, Zuko doesn’t get angry. He just feels… well, he feels fondness for the Water Tribe warrior.

He tries not to dwell on that _too_ much, though. He has bigger things to worry about.

* * *

One evening, about a week after they arrive on Ember Island and only a few weeks before Sozin’s Comet and the (hopeful) demise of the Fire Lord, Zuko decides to take a quiet moment to himself. The afternoon is scorching hot, yet he and Aang spend most of the day in the sun training, and Zuko is _exhausted_ both physically and mentally by the time the sun begins to set. The past few weeks with the Avatar and his friends have surprisingly been some of the most grueling of Zuko’s life, and, as he sits around the fire eating with them that evening, he finds himself thinking that _he_ had some part to play in this. Although he has changed now, he’s the reason that they seem so _used_ to constantly running, used to waiting for danger around every turn. And while that’s a good thing - it has turned them all into strong, capable warriors - he also can’t help but feel guilty.

So after supper, Zuko quietly wanders off on his own, searching for one of the more secluded gardens on his family’s old property. When he was a child, their vacation home on Ember Island was a stunning oasis - a little slice of heaven away from the Fire Nation capital. His father rarely accompanied them on their weekend trips to the beach house, therefore, it became a safe space for Zuko, much like the turtleduck ponds back home. 

Back when he was a child, the house was surrounded by stunning landscaping, perfectly trimmed hedges, green lawns and colorful flower gardens. It was a gift from his father to his mother when they first married, and in Zuko’s opinion, one of the most beautiful products of their union. The back courtyard even housed a small hedge maze, but over the years, the gardens became wild and overgrown. It seems that his father had no reason to continue upkeep on the house, once his mother was out of the picture…

Zuko shakes the thought from his head, reminding himself that he came out here to _clear_ his mind, not to worry himself over the past and the things he can’t change.

Even without proper landscaping and upkeep, Zuko can still make out the thin stone path that winds its way through the gardens and eventually, he comes across the place that he was looking for. Back behind the overgrown bushes and tall, untamed trees is a small clearing. The grass is overgrown and littered with weeds and wildflowers, but the oval-shaped lawn is still easy to find.

As he takes a seat in the tall grass, Zuko lets his mind wander to simpler times - to lying in this exact spot with his mother when he was just a child, watching fluffy clouds float by and pointing out the ones that were shaped like animals. His sister rarely cared to spend her afternoons lounging in the gardens, and more than once caught them on fire, but even she would occasionally join them. Zuko finds himself longing for those quiet afternoons, now, when everything seemed so simple. So… _good._

If only his life were that easy, now. If only Zuko knew then what he does now. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to struggle and fight and claw his way to get here. Maybe he would have been able to stop his father sooner and bring peace to the four nations. 

He’s sure that, if his uncle were here, he’d tell him something like, _“The journey is just as important as the destination, Prince Zuko…”_

But, since Iroh _isn't_ here, Zuko tries to focus on the things that he can control. He takes a deep breath, and when he exhales, he can feel the tension and fire and anger leaving his bones and muscles. He _knows_ that he needs to let go, but it’s hard. 

It’s hard not to worry about the comet, about the Avatar’s upcoming confrontation with his father. It’s hard not to worry about what might come after, even if they _do_ defeat the Fire Lord. As Zuko sits by himself in the tall, overgrown grass, he can’t help but think about his future and the future of his people. He can’t help but think about his uncle and his mother and how they _tried_ \- they both tried _so fucking hard_ to shape him into a kind, compassionate young man, but he was just too blind to see it.

He let them down, but he _refuses_ to let Aang, his friends, his people, and the rest of the world down. He won’t take this second chance for granted. He _can’t_ let them down.

Another deep breath, and Zuko closes his eyes, letting his thoughts float downstream. His uncle tried _many times_ to get him to join him in early morning meditations, but Zuko always insisted that he didn’t have the _time_ to meditate. Now, he finds himself wishing that he had done it more. He only has a rudimentary knowledge of meditation, but if he remembers correctly, it’s all about disconnecting, letting your thoughts and worries roll off of you. 

It’s about finding peace.

Unfortunately, Zuko’s peace today is short-lived.

He can hear the telltale crunch of footsteps on gravel, the breaking of branches before he hears the Water Tribe warrior’s thoughts. For a moment, Zuko’s body tenses and he prepares to reach for his sword or fire off a warning shot, but then -

Then, he hears him.

**_“I wonder where he could have - oh, shit.”_ **

Zuko can’t help but snort to himself at Sokka’s aborted thought in his head. Before he can stop himself, he calls out, eyes still closed, “I can hear you, Sokka.”

It’s not a total lie - after all, he _did_ hear Sokka’s footsteps before he could hear his thoughts, and to be fair, he’s not the most _graceful_ member of their team. His stumbling through the thick brush would have eventually given him away. 

Zuko doesn’t turn to look at Sokka immediately, and he can hear his steps falter for just a second before he continues his approach. 

“Hey, man…” Sokka’s voice sounds awkward, even a little hesitant when he speaks, as if he knows that he just interrupted a private moment. “Didn’t expect to see you here… If you were meditating, or whatever, I can -”

“If I was meditating, I’m not anymore,” Zuko retorts, but he keeps his voice lighter, hoping that Sokka can hear the teasing smile pulling at his lips. After a moment of silence, he rises to face the other teen, who stands just a few feet away from him.

Sokka scratches at the back of his neck, offering Zuko an apologetic smile in response. “Right. Well, I don’t want to bother you, but with the comet coming in less than two weeks, I was thinking - I mean -”

He’s rambling, and Zuko raises his eyebrows as if to say, _“Spit it out.”_

Hell, maybe Sokka even _hears_ that thought. Who knows. 

“Could we maybe train some more?” Sokka finally asks, “I know you’ve been really busy with Aang and today was a long day, so if you don’t want to, I totally understand. But I’ve been thinking about what you said, that first time we sparred, and I just keep thinking that I’m not ready for any of this and -”

“Sokka, _stop,”_ Zuko interrupts before he can say anything else. He thinks of what Katara and Toph told him about Aang - _he responds well to positive reinforcement_ \- and is sure that Sokka could probably use some as well. “You’re a talented swordsman. You’re going to do well.”

Sokka doesn’t _say_ anything in response, but his thoughts are loud and clear.

**_“Well, I want to be better.”_ **

_Spirits,_ Zuko is really never going to get used to that. It’s like Sokka is the little voice inside his head. It’s unnerving, especially when he’s looking right at him. 

Before Sokka can _voice_ his thoughts, Zuko sighs and adds, “But fine. Some more practice couldn’t hurt.”

And just like that, he’s drawing his swords, offering Sokka a small smirk - one that the warrior eagerly returns. 

The truth is, Sokka really _is_ a talented swordsman. Even compared to the first time they sparred in the woods outside the Western Air Temple, Sokka has grown as a fighter. Each time they practice like this, Zuko finds that he has to put up more of a fight. Each time, it becomes more and more challenging. Just as Katara is a naturally gifted waterbender, Sokka is a gifted warrior - it just took some practice, and Zuko can relate. 

In fact, in a way, Sokka _kind of_ fights like him. He doesn’t hold back. He throws his entire weight into his attacks, using his sword as an extension of his body. He’s ferocious, yet controlled, light on his feet, but sturdy when he needs to be. Some of that is thanks to their sessions together, but some of that, Sokka already knew before they began sparring. His footwork, the way he carries himself, he moves like a swordsman that Zuko has seen before, has trained with before…

Zuko finds himself admiring the way that Sokka moves and the way that he fights more than he pays attention to defending himself, and ultimately, that’s his downfall. He’ll blame it on a long day training with the Avatar and the memories that _this place_ brings back, but truthfully, it’s _Sokka_ who distracts him and _Sokka_ who ultimately throws him to the ground, the tip of his blade pressing just below Zuko’s chin - 

And if anyone asks, it’s a sense of pride and admiration that Zuko feels when Sokka defeats him. Nothing else. _Certainly_ not attraction. Nope. No way. 

If Sokka notices Zuko’s heavy gaze, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he’s quick to pull his sword away, whooping and leaping in the air. “Yes! First try! In your face, Fire Nation!” he yells, pumping his fist in the air. Then, apparently realizing what he just said, he turns, offering Zuko a sheepish smile and mutters, “No offense…”

Zuko snorts out a surprised laugh in response. “None taken.”

Honestly, it would be kind of vindicating to watch Sokka, of the Southern Water Tribe take down a squad of well-trained Fire Nation soldiers and firebenders. He’d love to see the look on their faces when a “Water Tribe savage” kicks their asses. He has no doubt that Sokka will be able to hold his own against them. 

Sokka sheaths his sword then, and without another word, flops lazily into the grass by Zuko’s side. Zuko’s two blades, strewn about in the courtyard, lay forgotten for now. Instead, he trains his gaze on Sokka, who leans back on his elbows, a warm smile spread across his face. For a quiet moment, Zuko takes in the sight of him, breathing heavy, but exhilarated from their fight. Sokka tips his head back, and the dying summer sunlight catches on his jaw and throat, painting his brown skin in warm, rich hues. 

Zuko realizes belatedly that he’s staring and quickly looks away. 

“You’ve come a long way, since you first attacked me in your village,” Zuko remarks as a way to break the silence. He immediately cringes at his choice of words. It’s probably not Sokka’s favorite memory, and honestly, it’s not _his_ proudest moment, either. But his point does stand - Sokka has grown a lot since then.

Zuko has, too.

Thankfully, Sokka seems to take the comment in stride and just groans in response. _“Ugh,_ don’t remind me.”

It’s only _then_ that a thought occurs to Zuko. He hasn’t really thought of that day much - the first time they actually met - but now that he has brought it up, he can’t help but remember his own surprise upon setting foot in the Southern Water Tribe village. Sokka had been the only warrior to confront him that day, and Zuko is fairly certain he knows why.

Before he can stop himself, Zuko asks, “You were the only warrior in your village back then, weren’t you?”

The peaceful look on Sokka’s face quickly dissipates as he leans forward a little, his eyes finally opening. They remain unfocused on the tall grass in front of them. “Yeah…” he admits, voice far away. “My father left a few years before then, to go fight in the war. All of the able-bodied warriors went with him, and I _begged_ him to take me with, but - I was just a kid - I couldn’t -”

“War is no place for a kid,” Zuko interrupts, “Your father is a smart man. He was keeping you safe.”

He means it, too. As Zuko speaks, he thinks of his cousin, Lu Ten. He thinks of _himself,_ at just thirteen years old, thrust out into the real world. No. War is no place for a kid.

He only wishes that his own father would have protected him as Hakoda had protected Sokka. 

“Yeah, well, we’re all _still_ just kids _,”_ Sokka replies with a sigh. “Sometimes, I can’t help but think we’re in over our heads.”

Zuko’s response is quick and honest.

“We are.”

Sokka, in return, whips his head to look at him with wide, surprised eyes. It’s clear that he didn’t think that Zuko would actually _agree_ with him, and Zuko just cracks a small smile before elaborating. “But _together,_ we might stand a chance.”

“Wow, thanks _Prince Gloomy_ of the Bummer Nation,” Sokka retorts. He says it with a playful tone and a roll of his eyes. “I feel _so_ much better now. You should be a motivational speaker.”

Six months ago, Zuko probably would have been offended by his teasing. Now, he just chuckles at Sokka’s jabs. “I do mean it, though,” he insists, “Look at how far you’ve all come - Aang and Katara are both incredibly powerful benders, and they’re younger than both of us. Toph and Suki are frankly a little frightening - I mean, _metalbending?_ Really?”

Sokka snorts at that comment, but before Zuko can finish, he hears Sokka’s thought. It’s quiet. Unsure. Self-conscious.

**_“And then there’s me.”_ **

And Zuko realizes, as he looks at the other boy, that he has never wanted to defend or protect someone else more. He sees a little bit of himself in Sokka - someone who had to fight to be seen, to feel strong, to feel capable and powerful alongside a naturally gifted little sister. 

“And _you,”_ Zuko continues pointedly, “Are not the same warrior that you were a year ago.”

Sokka opens his mouth to say something - judging by the look on his face to _argue_ \- but Zuko quickly cuts him off. 

“You guys managed to evade not only me and my uncle, but my sister and the rest of the Fire Nation for a _year_ , Sokka,” Zuko insists, “As the _plan guy,_ give yourself some credit. _And_ you just put me on my ass.”

For a second, Sokka is quiet, his mouth hanging open with unsaid words, and Zuko hopes that he didn’t say too much. He’s still figuring out this whole _being nice_ thing, and isn’t sure when it’s too much, when it’s not enough.

Thankfully, Sokka eventually breaks the silence and puts an end to his suffering. 

“Yeah, well… I found a master along the way,” Sokka says with a shrug, “So, you can’t give me _all_ of the credit.”

 _Of course._ That makes so much sense. Sokka’s skill level, his footwork, the ease at which he carries himself while fighting. Zuko should have recognized Master Piandao’s craftsmanship sooner. After all, his broadswords were forged by him, too.

“Piandao is one of the best,” Zuko says, “You had a great master - but you know as well as I do that he only choses students that are worthy, so don’t sell yourself short.”

Sokka’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “How did you -”

“Your sword,” Zuko answers, “And he trained _me,_ when I was a kid. I thought I recognized his techniques…”

 _“Seriously?”_ Sokka presses, “I didn’t think - I mean, why would _you_ train with him? You’re a firebender - surely that’s much more -”

“I wasn’t a great one, back then,” Zuko supplies before Sokka can finish. The last thing he wants to hear is that his _bending_ is more important than his skill with a sword. To be honest, he actually holds _that_ more dear than his natural abilities. His swordsmanship made him special, compared to Azula. It was something that was his and _only_ his. 

“Firebending always came naturally to my sister, but not to me,” he recounts, “My father sent me to train with Master Piandao when I was young - said I might as well be good at _something._ He told him not to send me home until I was worthy.”

“Your dad is a fucking asshole,” Sokka bites without hesitation. The swear words come as a surprise, but Zuko doesn’t comment on them, not when Sokka continues, “I mean, _come on -_ you’re his _son._ Was the guy born evil? He literally has _no_ redeeming qualities.”

Zuko can’t help but snort out a laugh at Sokka’s ranting. “No, he really doesn’t.”

He also reminds himself never to tell Sokka how he got his scar, if he gets _this_ angry over his father’s nasty words. 

It grows quiet between them, then, but it isn’t an uncomfortable silence. Generally, Zuko prefers his space, enjoys being alone, but right now, Sokka’s company is welcome. It’s grounding. He came out to the gardens to clear his head, to be alone with his thoughts, but surprisingly, Sokka brought him more clarity and calm than he expected. Sokka reminds him that he doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone. 

Deep down, he wonders if _that’s_ why the spirits chose this boy for him, but he files that away to worry about later. 

When Sokka eventually breaks the silence, it’s with a soft, “Thank you.”

Zuko glances in his direction to find Sokka staring out at the landscape ahead of them. It’s growing dark, the reds and oranges in the sky transforming into blues and purples. “For what?” Zuko asks, his voice low, quiet, as if he’s afraid of disturbing the peaceful moment. 

“For helping me train,” Sokka says with a shrug. He matches Zuko’s gaze and offers him a smile, “And for finally coming to the good side. And, you know, not turning out like your dad.”

Zuko lets out a deep breath, one that he feels like he’s been holding for ages. “Sometimes, I feel like I almost did,” he admits. 

Before, Zuko used to dream of being as powerful and respected as his father. Now, he prays that he never ends up like him. 

“Nah, you’re a big softie, deep down,” Sokka insists, shifting to bump Zuko’s shoulder with his own, “You’d never make it as a bad guy.” 

Sokka doesn’t know it, but his words have an effect on Zuko. It’s something that he has always wanted to hear, but he just didn’t know it. He flushes at the praise, but before he can say anything stupid, he asks, “Wanna go again?”

And Sokka, _bless his soul,_ just laughs. “Ready to get your ass kicked again, jerk-bender?”

* * *

Less than two weeks later, Zuko reunites with his uncle and _finally,_ he gets some closure. Less than twenty-four hours after that, Sosin’s Comet is upon them, and he and Katara are deparing for the Fire Nation capital while Sokka, Suki and Toph head for the Airship Fleet, and his uncle, along with the other members of the White Lotus, make their way to reclaim Ba Sing Se.

It’s a bittersweet goodbye. It’s the moment they’ve all been training for, and while Zuko has faith in the Avatar and his friends, he still can’t fully quell his nerves. 

If he’s being honest, he’s also _worried_ that this will be the last time they all see one another. He’s worried that they won’t all come out of this alive. 

_But,_ it isn’t _anger_ that he feels as they all gather their supplies and begin to part ways. Sure, he’s angry with his father for everything he has done, both to this world and his own family, and sure, he’s angry that a bunch of _kids_ have to pick up the pieces of a broken world… but it isn’t anger that he feels now. It’s hope. Hope, and pride. Pride for the people that he can now call his team. His friends. His found family. 

Zuko knows anger intimately, but he doesn’t feel anger as he says goodbye to his uncle, and he certainly doesn’t feel it when Sokka unexpectedly pulls him into a tight, bone-crushing hug.

No, he definitely doesn’t feel anger, especially when he hears Sokka’s voice, clear as day in the back of his head, like a whisper in his ear -

**_“Please, come back in one piece. Both of you.”_ **

\- it’s just a sense of compassion, fondness, and maybe, a little bit of love. 

“We will,” Zuko assures before he can even think about the implication of his words, the fact that he’s responding to Sokka’s _thoughts,_ because it just feels so natural. “You have my word.”

And when they part, Sokka just _looks_ at him - really looks at him - eyes wide and mouth agape, and Zuko knows that he just gave himself away. 

He also knows, with complete certainty, that Sokka knows as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in for a few Zuko-centric chapters after this one! I know that this has been slow moving so far, but hopefully this chapter and the ones that follow make up for it a little bit! 
> 
> I REALLY loved finally writing these two bonding a little bit! There will definitely be more of that to come.


	6. woke up to a brand new skyline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quick update because I was REALLY excited to get this chapter up! It's not quite as long as the last one or the next one, but I hope you enjoy!

_Woke up to a brand new skyline  
We licked our wounds and mourn the dead  
Swallow the story hook and sinker  
Is that what we meant when we said  
That we never would forget? _

\- [Broken Lungs](https://open.spotify.com/track/6AjpcJRpOfDU187B8sUsv7?si=siZ10U2WTTCxhdTYXsZ1HQ) \- Thrice

* * *

They win.

They win, and at first, it doesn’t feel real. For Zuko, someone who has had to fight and claw their way to the top only to come up second-best his entire life, who spent his formative years on a fool’s errand to earn the respect of a man who never deserved it, who gave up the only family and friends he ever knew to join a rag-tag group of teenagers determined to save the world, it’s surreal. It feels as if another threat is lurking just around the corner, as if he’s going to open his eyes and realize it was all just a dream.

But that doesn’t happen.

They win, and two weeks later, Zuko is officially crowned Fire Lord, and it all just feels so surreal. 

Within those two weeks, Zuko has his father locked away in the Fire Nation capital’s maximum security prison and his own sister is committed to one of the nation’s top hospitals, and although Zuko just wants to sleep for a thousand years, he can’t. Within those two weeks, Zuko spends time building a cabinet of trusted advisors and hand-picked men and women that both his uncle and the other members of the White Lotus know and trust, as well as drafting up the paperwork to declare the end of the 100 Year War, among countless other things. Before he’s even crowned Fire Lord, before he has even fully healed from his fight with Azula, Zuko is already hard at work.

Thankfully, Iroh, Aang and their friends are there with him every step of the way. They have a lot of work to do, but Zuko is confident that they can do it.

And for the next few weeks, Zuko is _busy._

So busy, in fact, that everything, other than figuring out how to run a nation at the young age of just sixteen, falls by the wayside. Zuko doesn’t get the chance to properly celebrate his coronation with his friends, not until nearly six weeks later, when his uncle Iroh invites him to Ba Sing Se under the guise of _official Fire Lord business._ Really, he just wants to make sure his nephew has a chance to be a _teenager_ for a bit longer, and Zuko secretly appreciates it. 

And it isn’t until they’re _in_ Ba Sing Se, relaxing comfortably at the Jasmine Dragon, that Zuko _really_ has the chance to process the events of the past few months... 

His father. Azula. The war. His coronation. His reunion with his uncle. His reconciliation with Mai and their agreement that it’s probably best that they just remain friends. The fact that he nearly fucking _died_ at the hands of his own sister, trying to save a girl from the Southern Water tribe who, a year ago, he would have considered an enemy. _Aang,_ who he sees as a little brother and best friend now, and _spirits,_ if only he would have known back then what he knows now, when Aang looked at him in the forest and asked, _“If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends?”_

_Sokka._

_Fuck,_ Sokka. 

It’s funny. You don’t really realize what’s truly important to you until you think you’re about to lose it all. And as Zuko flew toward the Fire Nation capital to confront his sister that fateful day, he had a _lot_ on his mind... fear that Aang wouldn’t succeed, fear that he wasn’t going to be strong enough to face Azula and surprisingly, an overwhelming fear that he just said goodbye to his _soulmate_ before they even really had a chance to figure things out. 

**_“Please, come back in one piece.”_ **

Sokka’s voice remained in the back of his head long after they departed, and he knew that, if they somehow miraculously survived, that they’d have a _lot_ to talk about. But then there was his coronation and the end of the war and meeting after meeting after meeting, and suddenly, six weeks had gone by and he didn’t even have a chance to talk to Sokka more than in passing. 

But Zuko certainly hasn’t forgotten about it. In fact, it’s all he has been able to think about lately, now that he has some peace and quiet, some time to be _normal_ (or as normal as he can get) and relax with friends. 

_“You need some time to process everything, nephew,”_ Iroh tells him when he drags him away to Ba Sing Se six weeks after his coronation. And it’s been a long time coming, but Zuko is determined to listen to his uncle, to use this time away to process everything that has happened to him. To heal. To grow. 

And yes, that includes finally confronting his _soulmate._

It’s kind of funny, when your life is so messed up that _finding your literal soulmate_ is the furthest thing from your mind, because you’re too busy saving the world and overthrowing a tyrannical government and ending a war. But once Zuko is in Ba Sing Se, he knows that eventually, he’ll have to face this whole situation head-on.

He just doesn’t expect it to happen as soon as it does. 

It’s not that Zuko has been _avoiding_ Sokka by any means - they’re staying in the same _house,_ after all, they all came to the city _together_ \- but they haven’t been alone together since…

Well, shit. They haven’t been alone together since before the day of the comet. 

It’s _hard_ when you’re now the new Fire Lord, when the threat of assasination is _very_ real and you still have a lot of work to do. Even when they arrive in Ba Sing Se, it’s still difficult to get a moment alone together, and Zuko certainly isn’t ready to just grab the other boy and ask if they can talk. He knows that it has been a long time coming, that eventually it’ll come to a head, he just doesn’t anticipate it in the way it happens.

* * *

Zuko is accustomed to waking up around or even before sunrise. Three years at sea and a few months traveling with the Avatar, coupled with the fact that firebenders draw their energy from the sun will do that to you. What Zuko _isn’t_ used to as of late, is a _peaceful_ , relaxing morning. He realizes, after his coronation, that he took quiet mornings and tea with his uncle - even when they were hiding out in Ba Sing Se - for granted. Every day since then has felt like complete and utter chaos, so when he rises one morning in Ba Sing Se to a completely silent house, just before sunrise, he takes complete advantage of it.

After getting dressed, Zuko makes himself a cup of tea (it’s not as great as Iroh’s, but it’ll do for now, his uncle deserves to sleep) and quietly makes his way outside to enjoy a peaceful sunrise for the first time in a long time. And that’s when he spies him. 

Sitting out on the edge of the balcony already, feet dangling over the edge, back to Zuko, is Sokka, watching the sun slowly rise over the city. 

After just a moment to consider it and a deep breath, Zuko takes a few steps forward to join him. This is far from the most difficult thing he has ever done - for fuck’s sake, he just fought his sister, just survived getting struck down by her lightning, is now running an entire _nation_ \- but that doesn’t make Zuko feel any less nervous. A lot has changed over the past few weeks. A lot more is sure to change in the future. 

As Zuko approaches Sokka, he can’t help but wonder what he wants out of this situation, this inevitable conversation. He’s not even entirely sure that he has feelings for Sokka. It’s _far_ too early to tell, and Zuko knows that just because someone is your soulmate does not mean that it’s love at first sight. 

However, that _doesn’t_ mean that Zuko doesn’t respect him, that he doesn’t value their friendship, their relationship, whatever they may have. 

Zuko can hear Sokka’s thoughts before he even makes his presence known, and just like the first time, it’s surprising, terrifying, thrilling and incredibly intimate. 

**_“I know you’re there.”_ **

It’s the first time that Sokka’s thoughts have been directed _at_ Zuko, and it takes him by surprise. It reminds him that they have a lot to talk about. Ultimately, he makes the decision not to respond to Sokka’s thought directly, and instead, greets him with, “The city is peaceful before it wakes up, isn’t it?”

Sokka doesn’t immediately say anything in response. Instead, he just hums, his back still turned to him.

So, Zuko takes another step forward and asks, “May I join you?”

Sokka’s response is short, but not unwelcoming. The tone of his voice is soft when he murmurs, “Sure.”

Zuko takes a seat to Sokka’s right, but he doesn’t speak, at least not right away. He just sips his tea, gazing out over the city of Ba Sing Se. The sun hasn’t quite peaked over the horizon yet, and this is Zuko’s favorite time of the day - just before daybreak. The sky is still dark, but pinks and purples and even oranges have begun to wash over the horizon. It’s _stunning_ at sea, but still beautiful here, too. It feels so peaceful, so quiet and serene. 

“It doesn’t feel right,” Sokka finally breaks the silence between them, catching Zuko off guard. His voice sounds far away and a bit troubled, and for a moment, Zuko is afraid that he means what he _thinks_ he means. 

That _this_ between them, doesn’t feel right. Sure, it’s strange, but…

Zuko’s voice catches in his throat, unsure of what to say, but mercifully, Sokka continues, “We saved the world, but it just…” he shakes his head, “I don’t know. I’m probably just being melodramatic.”

_Oh._

Zuko gets it. He has felt the same way since his coronation. Anxious. On edge. It’s probably why Iroh asked him to come here. 

“So much has changed, but it doesn’t feel like it, right?” Zuko asks, and _finally,_ Sokka’s gaze shifts from the cityscape in front of them to him. “It doesn’t feel right, for things to go back to normal, after so much bad has happened. After so much has changed.”

_“Yeah,”_ Sokka agrees on an exhale, “Exactly.”

Who could blame them for feeling this way? Deep down, Zuko knows that his entire life has been shaped by a war that started decades before he was born, that his father wanted him to fight in even though he perceived him as weak. He wasn’t a child to Ozai - he was just a _tool_ to get what he wanted. And Sokka…

Zuko watches Sokka for a few quiet seconds, knowing that he understands as well. _Sokka’s_ entire life has been affected by the war, too - from his upbringing and the suffering that the Southern Water Tribe faced at the hands of the Fire Nation, to the death of his mother and ultimately, his father leaving for war when he was just a kid…

They were both forced to grow up too fast, all because of the mistakes of Zuko’s forefathers. So yeah, it makes sense that _this -_ that peace - doesn’t feel right, because _war_ is all they’ve ever known. 

“You’re not being melodramatic,” Zuko assures. “I feel the same way.” Zuko doesn’t say it out loud, but in fact, he has felt this way twice: once, when he thought he had regained his honor with his father, when he went home and thought that he had everything he ever wanted. And again, now. Only now, it’s different. _Everything_ is different. He _belongs_ here, in this fresh new world. 

Sokka swallows. He waits for Zuko to go on, so he continues. It’s the first time that he’s had the chance to get this off his chest, and well, if Sokka is willing to listen..

“I feel as if something terrible is lurking around the corner…” he admits, “As if this _isn’t_ the end -”

“I feel the same way -!” Sokka exclaims quietly, “It’s - I feel so _stupid_ feeling this way, but it’s just…”

“I know,” Zuko agrees, a small, sad smile pulling on his lips, “Childhood trauma is a bitch, huh?”

Thankfully, the mood breaks. His comment earns a surprised laugh from Sokka, who’s face lights up with it. And just like a few months ago, when Zuko caught himself staring at the other boy as they watched the sun set on Ember Island, he catches himself admiring the way the rising sun paints warm tones on Sokka’s skin. 

“It’s going to take a long time for things to feel _normal_ again,” Zuko says after a beat of silence, and he’s not entirely sure if he’s saying it to himself, or Sokka. “But maybe it’s best that they _don’t_ go back to normal. Just… forward.”

Sokka nods, a serious expression returning to his face. He looks less troubled now, though. A little more at ease. “Yeah,” he agrees, “You’re right. I like that. Thanks… Zuko.”

“Anytime,” Zuko nudges at Sokka’s shoulder with his own, just as Sokka did to him months ago on Ember Island. “I guess some of my uncle’s wisdom is finally rubbing off on me.”

Sokka snorts out a laugh. “Took long enough.”

And _this…_ Sokka’s teasing, early mornings and good tea, friendships that _matter_ and a strong support system who understands him... Zuko could get used to this, he finds himself thinking. A little sliver of normalcy. This is exactly what he has been needing. 

It falls quiet between them again as the sun finally begins to rise over the horizon, casting a warm glow and long shadows across the city. It feels like a new beginning. The fresh start that Zuko has been longing for. He reminds himself to thank his uncle for this, later. 

After a few long, comfortable minutes, as Zuko’s tea grows cold, he finally hears it. He hears Sokka’s thoughts again, and they’re clearly directed his way.

**_“You know, don’t you?”_ **

The loaded question itself implies that Sokka has known for a while as well, that Sokka can hear _his_ thoughts too. So Zuko swallows and nods. No use in avoiding the truth. 

“I do.”

Sokka takes a deep breath, holding it for a few long seconds before he exhales. 

This conversation has been a long time coming, and in the few moments before the other shoe drops, Zuko attempts to make sense of everything he knows. 

The first thing that comes to mind is that he _knows_ Sokka had been lying that night months ago, when they sat around the campfire, discussing the subject of soulmates. Zuko had watched the other boy expectantly when Aang asked if he had found his soulmate, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel disappointed at Sokka’s answer. But chances are, Sokka _has_ known - has probably been able to hear his thoughts - for a long time. If Zuko was willing to bet, he’d say that Sokka has known for far longer than he has, and _that_ is very telling. His inaction and unwillingness to talk about it until now says a lot, but Zuko can’t blame him. Heck, he _also_ never acted on it, never brought it up, never faced it head on.

He _also_ knows that Sokka can probably hear his every thought right now. 

“I can,” Sokka mutters, breaking the silence and shaking him out of his thoughts, “Hear you right now, you know.”

Zuko can’t help but snort out a laugh at the awkwardness of their situation. “Well, _that’s_ embarrassing.”

Sokka, despite the fact that he’s never been the most graceful one of the group, surprisingly handles _this_ situation with care, offering Zuko a smile before he says, “You know I don’t hate you, right?”

Zuko swallows and nods. It’s actually one of the few things he _does_ know. Sokka was one of the first people of their group to trust him. To grow close to him. If Zuko were the sentimental type - and maybe he is, he’s still getting to know himself after all - he’d say that he considers Sokka as his _best_ friend. 

“I thought I did there, for a while…” Sokka says with a sigh, “I think that’s why I lied to myself - to _you_ \- about it. But I don’t hate you, Zuko.”

Zuko wants to tell Sokka that he felt the same way. That he couldn’t even hear Sokka’s thoughts for the longest time because of the anger and hatred clouding his mind and his heart, but something tells him that that’s a conversation for another time. He can’t quite get the words out. Instead, he waits for Sokka to go on. 

“But…” he infers. There’s definitely a catch, he can sense it.

Sokka exhales a deep breath. “But, I love Suki.”

_Right._ Of course.

That makes sense, Zuko should have seen it coming. So why does he feel… _disappointed_ at Sokka’s admission? It’s supid, really, especially considering the fact that he didn’t even _see him_ that way, before all of this. 

“You’ve never really been one for all the…” Zuko waves his hand, willing the words to come to him. **_What had Sokka called it?_ **

“The spirit mumbo-jumbo?” Sokka supplies, cracking a smile when Zuko realizes he just heard _that_ thought too. “No, I really haven’t.”

“Kind of ironic, considering you’re friends with the _bridge between our world and the spirit world,”_ Zuko says the words like Aang would, which earns a laugh from Sokka. 

“Hey, I am who I am,” he retorts with a shrug.

“You are,” Zuko agrees, offering Sokka a smile. That’s what he appreciates about Sokka. That’s why they’ve grown so close over the past few months. Then, before the moment is broken, he adds, gently, “For what it’s worth, I still consider you one of my closest friends, you know.”

And Sokka, in return, offers Zuko a warm smile. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m grateful to call the Fire Lord my friend.”

And for now, being _friends_ is more than okay. Zuko will take that, because, he realizes, before he met Aang and his group, he never really _had_ a true friend before. He’ll take it, because honestly, he didn’t anticipate this conversation going so… _well._ Because he _wants_ Sokka in his life, even as just a friend. 

But over time, feelings can change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay a few things!
> 
> First off, I definitely stole the “it doesn’t feel right for things to go back to the way they are after so much bad has happened” bit from Lord of the Rings. Whoops, haha. It just made a LOT of sense to me for these characters to feel this way, especially considering that their entire lives up until this point have been shaped by this war. It didn't feel right for things to just be all sunshine and rainbows afterward. 
> 
> Second, I know you all were probably hoping for some amazing, climactic reunion where they profess their love to each other and Katara beats their asses for not telling her that they were soulmates, buuutttt… this just felt a little more realistic. I love me some angst. I promise the ending will be worth the wait. 
> 
> And third, we love and respect Suki in this household. Since Sokka is still canonically with her at this point, I decided not to split them up quite yet. Please don’t think of her as the bad guy, though! Suki is amazing and perfect and I promise to do her justice! 
> 
> Anyway, that’s all. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I loved writing it.


	7. lay down your burdens, find rest for your souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh boy, I am so excited about this chapter. 
> 
> A little note before you dive in: This chapter is set a couple of years into the future, just after the events of The Search comics, which detail the search for Zuko’s mother. (Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t read those yet, I do reference some of the events that take place in them within this chapter. They’re available on Apple Books and there are plenty of places where you can find them for free online if you want to read them before reading this.) The Search takes place around 2-3 years after the events of the show, making Zuko 18-19 and Sokka 17-18. For clarity, I’m just gonna say that Zuko is 18 and Sokka is 17 here. 
> 
> Mild warning for underage drinking in this chapter, although I’m just going to assume that the legal drinking age in this universe is 18.

_Come all you weary with your heavy loads  
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls  
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind  
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine  
_ \- [Come All You Weary](https://open.spotify.com/track/15A3EYVU834quKHqAKd7kD?si=5A65H-cbRT6NU9FTdHX6Wg) \- Thrice

* * *

Time changes everything.

Time (among other things) changed Zuko from a self-conscious, caring and naive child to a callous, ruthless and determined teenager in just three years. Time away from home also changed his perception of his place in the palace, by his father’s side, from one of respect and acceptance to a bittersweet memory of what was never meant to be. Over time, Zuko discovered a lot about himself, and although he has _many_ regrets, he knows that he wouldn’t be the person he is now - someone that he’s _proud of_ \- if it weren’t for all of the time he had to grow and evolve and make mistakes. Sometimes, he still has to remind himself of this when he feels guilty that he didn’t stop his family sooner, that he didn’t join Aang sooner. Sometimes, Iroh has to remind him as well. 

Zuko wouldn’t fully understand just how important his role as Fire Lord is if it weren’t for all of that _time._

So he _really_ shouldn’t be surprised when time changes his feelings for Sokka, as well. He shouldn’t be surprised when he feels drawn to the other teenager the more they spend time together. (Because even though it’s awkward at first, after they discuss the whole _soulmate thing_ , they're still _friends,_ and that’s what matters.)

The more time that Zuko spends with Sokka, though, he begins to understand why the spirits chose them for each other. At least, he thinks so. He’s not as in tune with the spirit world as his uncle or Aang, and he’d rather die than ask either of them for _romantic_ advice - no offense. But over time, he starts to get it. 

In the cheesiest, most simplistic sense, he feels like Sokka completes him. Not in like… the melodramatic way where you can’t _survive_ without the other person in your life, or you feel like part of you is missing whenever they’re not around - but in simple ways, like Sokka’s ability to crack a stupid joke at the worst possible time to lighten the mood, even after Zuko has spent an exhausting week in meetings with officials from the Earth Kingdom Colonies. Sokka - his _friend,_ Sokka, he reminds himself - challenges him to see things from a new perspective, to not be _so damn rigid all the time,_ to be spontaneous and laugh a little. 

In some ways, Sokka is everything he _isn’t_ , and that’s certainly not a _bad_ thing. It’s just something that Zuko notices. In the most simplistic way, Sokka is from the Water Tribe and Zuko is Fire Nation. Zuko is a bender and Sokka isn’t. Sokka _also_ has an incredibly talented younger sister who tends to overshadow him, but unlike him and Azula, they have a very healthy, balanced relationship (even if they _do_ annoy the shit out of each other sometimes).

Sokka had a father who loved and protected him - when Sokka wanted to go fight in the war, his father kept him home and kept him safe. Zuko, on the other hand… well, that should be obvious. His father _never_ protected him. The thought is actually laughable. 

But it’s so much more than that.

Over the course of the next few months, and eventually, _years,_ Zuko and Sokka become even closer than they had been before. Without the constant threat of life or death - it’s still there, just not as prevalent - they actually have _time_ to get to know each other, to have a real _friendship._

And at first, Zuko thinks nothing of it. Sure, it’s tense at first, after the initial discussion about their _bond_ , but Sokka is quick to diffuse an awkward situation and Zuko follows his lead. And at first, he has no problem with it. Sokka is with Suki, and that makes total sense - they’re _good_ for each other, and they’ve been together for a while, from what Zuko gathers. The last thing Zuko needs right now is a relationship to worry about, anyway. So at first, it doesn’t matter. 

But time, as always, changes things. And, as it turns out, Zuko has quite a bit of _time_ to spend with Sokka. 

Now that the war is over, the world seems a whole lot smaller than it once did, and even though he knows that his friends won’t _always_ be by his side, Zuko finds himself spending much more time with them than he anticipated. In the years following the end of the war, Zuko aids in the removal of the remaining Fire Nation colonies, then promptly calls off the _Harmony Restoration Movement, then_ finds himself making some of the most difficult decisions that he has made as Fire Lord so far. And all along the way, Aang, Katara, Toph and Sokka are there for support. Or to challenge his convictions. Or to help him come up with a compromise. 

Time - even the next couple of years of Zuko’s life - teaches him many lessons, and it also finds him growing even closer to his tight-knit group of friends, Sokka included. 

And over time, Zuko finds himself growing more and more fond of the Water Tribe warrior and his witty sense of humor, the pride at which he carries himself and _even_ the sharp cut of his jawline or his deep blue eyes. 

It’s stupid, Zuko tells himself over and over, but as time passes, he can’t deny his attraction to Sokka - his _soulmate_ \- and he can’t deny that he feels himself growing closer to him with each day. 

Nearly three years after the end of the war, Sokka _also_ joins him on his quest to find his mother. Aang, Katara, Toph and _unfortunately_ Azula are there too, but when they’re not under the constant threat of death from spirits (or his sister) he finds his mind wandering to Sokka. Sokka, who lost _his_ mother at a young age, too, who will _never_ be able to get her back, but never once hesitates to help Zuko on his search. 

Sokka is loyal to a fault and jumps into action without being asked, even offering to help Zuko fight off Azula when she inevitably turns on them, and his fearlessness is another thing that Zuko loves about him.

_Love_ is a strong word, of course. But, well…

Time changes things. 

And later, once Zuko has _finally_ reunited with his mother after nearly _eight long years,_ he feels ashamed to admit that he’s _still_ thinking of Sokka. Even as he and his mother catch up after so much time apart, his mind wanders to the warrior, to how much has changed between them over the last few years, too. 

And his mother, perceptive as ever, notices it, too.

They don’t get the chance to properly talk until morning - long after they’ve made sure that Azula _won’t_ be returning and they get some rest - but as they do, Zuko and Ursa sit outside together and talk about _everything._ Zuko’s life after she left, his quest to find the Avatar, how, if it weren’t for his uncle Iroh and the three kids that came to help out on _this_ mission, he wouldn’t be who he is today… the fall of Ozai and Azula. They talk about everything, including his mother’s secret life in Hira’a, her decision to leave - the _sacrifice_ she made to save Zuko’s life - and her undying love for Ikem and his half-sister, Kiyi, as well as her love for Zuko and even Azula. It’s a teary, long conversation, but one that Zuko has been dreaming of for years. 

It’s everything he has ever wanted and more. 

It’s early afternoon when the stories and the conversation dies down a bit, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve run out of things to talk about. Zuko’s gaze drifts from where they sit on the porch of their small house to Ikem and Kiyi, and he can’t help but smile. “You and Ikem - you found a way to be together against all odds…” he murmurs, his voice taking on a soft, far away quality. 

If he has learned anything about his mother since their reunion, it is that she has a great capacity for love. It was her love for her family that forced her to leave her hometown and her _soulmate_ behind in order to keep them safe. It was her love for Zuko that forced her hand with Ozai and ultimately resulted in her banishment. And even when Azula was attacking her, even when Azula was about to _kill_ her, her only response was to apologize for not loving her enough. 

So it comes as no surprise when she smiles and simply replies, “We love each other very much. Just as much as I love you, Zuko. And even your sister -”

Zuko can’t stop himself when he grits his teeth and mutters, “I’d prefer not to talk about her right now.”

And he doesn’t miss the sad look on his mother’s face when she murmurs a soft, “Of course.” She’s quick to change the subject, then, and after a beat of silence, asks, “So… do _you_ have a special someone in _your_ life, Zuko?”

She’s got this sweet grin on her face, one that Zuko recognizes from _years_ ago, and it causes him to groan with embarrassment, averting his eyes. _“Mom -”_

“I’ve missed out on _years_ of my only son’s life,” she insists, “I apologize for being so curious, but I just want to know if he has someone who makes _him_ happy, too.”

And _spirits,_ when she puts it like that, Zuko feels bad for reverting to an embarrassed teenager. He’s nearing the end of his teens. He really _shouldn’t_ get flustered by a question like that. 

“I had a girlfriend, Mai,” Zuk says with a sigh, “But it didn’t work out.”

“I remember Mai,” his mom replies with a smile, “Azula’s friend, right? She was very quiet, but a sweet girl. If it’s meant to be, love will find a way…”

Zuko’s not sure what possesses him to say it, but the words are out of his mouth before he can think about it. “She wasn’t my soulmate.”

Honestly, that had _nothing_ to do with his split with Mai. It was a cumulation of things - like his lack of communication and broken promises, her negativity, and the fact that, while they made great friends, they simply just weren’t compatible romantically. But his point stands. It _wasn’t_ meant to be, and she _isn’t_ his soulmate. 

Ursa just hums thoughtfully in response, not put off at all by Zuko’s sudden outburst. “But it seems that you know who _is_.”

Zuko doesn’t immediately respond, but he’s sure that his actions are what inevitably give him away. Without thinking about it, he glances up at the yard in front of them, where Aang and Katara are unloading Appa’s saddle (they agreed to stay in Hira’a for a few days, while Zuko’s family prepares to move to the capital) and then, where Sokka sits in the grass, playing with Kiyi. He’s got his boomerang out of the holster strapped to his back and, with one hand over Kiyi’s, he’s demonstrating how to throw it. It’s stupid and reckless and he _really_ shouldn’t be teaching a small child how to throw a _weapon,_ but Zuko can’t help but smile at the sight. 

_“Oh,_ I see,” his mother’s soft voice shakes him from his thoughts and suddenly, Zuko realizes that he’s been caught. “The Water Tribe boy… he seems like a kind soul, sweetie.”

“He is,” Zuko replies, but quickly follows it up with, “But we’re not -”

“He _is_ your soulmate, is he not?” Ursa asks in response, cutting him off.

It feels strange, admitting it out loud to someone _other_ than Sokka, almost like it makes it more real… Like it makes Zuko’s feelings more real. He swallows and nods. “Yeah.”

“It felt like the end of my world, when I was taken away from my family - from Ikem,” she says, then, seemingly changing the subject. Something tells Zuko, though, that this will end up like one of his uncle’s stories. It’ll make sense in a moment. 

“Finding your soulmate, only to be ripped away from them…” Ursa shakes her head. “But fate brought us together once, and it did so again years later. Despite all of our pain, and suffering and _many_ great losses -” she says those words pointedly, offering Zuko a sad smile, “We found each other again.”

Zuko thinks he gets what she’s trying to say - that even if they aren’t together now, true love will eventually find a way. But that’s just _it._ They’re not _in love._ They’re not together. They aren’t _going to be together._

And Zuko doesn’t realize how much he _hates_ to admit that until right now. _So,_ he has some unchecked feelings towards his best friend. What is he supposed to do about it?

“Yeah, well, we’ve already _found_ each other,” he retorts, his voice hushed, as if telling a secret, “But it’s not - we’re not romantic -”

“And that’s perfectly fine!” his mother assures, her hand coming to rest gently over Zuko’s. “Many soulmates remain platonic, but that doesn’t make this special bond any less important.”

Zuko swallows hard, his eyes trained on the space where their hands meet, muttering out a very telling, _“Yeah.”_

_“Oh,”_ Ursa breathes, suddenly understanding, “But you want -”

_“Mom,”_ Zuko all but groans before she can get the words out, “We really don’t have to talk about my _romantic_ problems. We have so much more to discuss.”

Thankfully, his mother is understanding and patient. Rather than pushing, she offers Zuko a warm smile and gently squeezes his hand. “We do. But just remember, Zuko - fate might get stretched and tangled, but it always finds a way to sort itself out.”

And, as if on cue, she glances up as she finishes speaking, just as Sokka approaches the pair. 

“Hey,” Sokka says in greeting, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Sorry for interrupting - I just - I’m going to run into town to grab some supplies for tonight and was wondering if you needed anything.”

Sokka doesn’t notice it, but Ursa is quick to squeeze Zuko’s hand before letting it go and offering him a knowing smile. “Zuko, why don’t you accompany your friend into town?” she suggests, and when he opens his mouth to protest, she insists, “We’ll be fine here with the Avatar.”

* * *

Shopping with Sokka reminds Zuko of stopping by sleepy seaside markets with his uncle, and Zuko would be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice change of pace, especially after everything that just happened over the past couple of days. Even at nearly eighteen years old, Sokka is still easily distracted by shiny trinkets, unique weapons and Fire Nation artwork, and their shopping trip for _“supplies”_ quickly turns into a meandering stroll through the market, Zuko stifling his laughter at Sokka’s clear excitement. 

A little over an hour later, they _do_ eventually return back to Ursa and Ikem’s house with plenty of food for dinner, some supplies for the trip home, and even a couple of bottles of wine and sake at Zuko’s request. (He’s practically an adult now, okay? Sue him for wanting to unwind a little bit). _Celebratory_ might be a bit of a stretch, but that’s how Zuko would describe dinner that night, even though they’re forced to eat outside around a campfire due to the extensive damage that Azula caused to the house. Although the world is far from perfect (hell, eating outside just reminds him of a time _before_ the comet, when their group wasn’t even sure if they’d defeat Ozai) Zuko can’t help but feel like things are _finally_ starting to come together. Maybe he’s still a naive teenager, maybe it’s just because he finally has his mom back, but he can’t help but feel hopeful.

And for the first time in a _very_ long time, Zuko actually lets himself relax. 

After dinner, they spend the rest of the evening sitting around the campfire, passing around a bottle of sake while they tell stories, laugh and unwind. It feels surreal, in a sense, as Zuko sits next to his mother and across from _the Avatar_ \- someone he is now proud to call a friend - at the campfire. He never, in a thousand years, expected to find himself here, yet it feels so _right._ It feels like home. And when Kiyi, his little sister that he never knew he had, perches on his lap, begging Zuko to tell more stories about the war and the palace and _saving the world,_ it _finally_ feels like everything will be okay. 

It’s then that Zuko catches Sokka’s gaze from across the fire, the flames casting a flickering, golden light on his face and only making his smile look _that much warmer,_ and he finds himself thinking that he could get used to this. 

As the night stretches on and the fire dies down, everyone eventually starts making their way to bed. First, it’s Ikem with Kiyi wrapped around him, her sleepy head resting on his shoulder when she softly asks, _“I’ll see you in the morning, right Zuko?”_

It comes naturally when Zuko ruffles her hair in response and murmurs, “Of course you will.”

His mother joins them shortly after, and as it gets later, Katara and Aang sleepily wander off to their tent, exhausted after a long day. 

And then, it’s just Zuko and Sokka. 

The fire is all but extinguished when the others wander off to bed, but Sokka doesn’t seem ready to move just yet, his eyes still fixed on the small flames, so Zuko doesn’t leave either. For a few minutes, Zuko just lets the comfortable silence fall between them, but eventually he stands and, against his better judgement, moves to sit closer to Sokka, who glances up at him, offering him a small smile. 

“Not tired?” Sokka asks in lieu of a greeting. He shifts to accommodate Zuko into his space. 

Zuko shakes his head in response. “No. I don’t think I’d be able to sleep.”

Sokka takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Yeah. Me neither. Eventful couple of days, huh?”

“You can say that again,” Zuko mutters with a snort, “I never thought I’d end up here.” Wordlessly, he takes a swig from the nearly empty bottle of sake, then offers it to Sokka, who cracks a smile at him. 

_“What?”_ Zuko bites in defense, though there’s no venom in his voice. “I’m not going to let it go to waste.”

Apparently accepting _that_ as a good enough excuse, Sokka takes the bottle from Zuko and takes a drink as well.

“To be fair,” he mutters, responding to Zuko’s earlier comment, “I never thought I’d be sitting here, _drinking_ with the Fire Lord himself.”

_Yeah,_ Zuko never imagined himself here, either. He never imagined that he would have helped to bring harmony to the world, that he’d be friends with the Avatar. That his soulmate would be a fierce, opinionated, brilliantly chaotic Southern Water Tribe warrior.

But Zuko wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

So that’s how Zuko finds himself putting a few more logs onto the fire, keeping it going strong well into the night. He remains seated next to Sokka until they finally finish off the sake and even after they end up popping open one of the bottles of wine. They don’t have any glasses, but Sokka doesn’t seem to mind, taking a swig right from the bottle, and part of Zuko wants to yell at him - because even _he_ knows that that’s not how you properly enjoy a good bottle of wine - but the other part of him really doesn’t care.

And _spirits,_ he’s done for. He should have seen this coming. 

Zuko’s not sure _how_ they end up like this, but eventually, he finds himself sitting impossibly closer to the other teen, Sokka leaning up against him when he reaches over to pluck the bottle of wine from his hand. And it feels comfortable. Safe. Natural. 

“Should we really be -” Sokka begins to ask, sloshing the liquid in the bottle around a bit, “What if Azula comes back?” 

It’s _late,_ late, everyone else went to bed well over an hour ago and they’re long past the point of _deciding that it’s a bad idea to be drinking,_ so Zuko just rolls his eyes at Sokka’s question.

“She won’t,” he replies, “I know my sister. She might not act like it, but I know that our mother’s disappearance affected her, too. The last place she’ll want to be is here, after everything that just happened.”

Zuko knows that his sister probably has plenty of emotions to sort through. Hell, he’s not even confident that she’ll figure it out on her own - he knows he wouldn’t be able to - and deep down, he finds himself holding onto the hope that she’ll come around. That she’ll ask for help. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but he also finds himself wishing that they had a better relationship, like Sokka and Katara. Maybe things would have been different, if they were closer, if their father hadn’t pitted them against each other at such a young age.

“Everyone processes grief differently,” Sokka says gently, seemingly reading Zuko’s mind and pulling him out of his thoughts.

_Oh._ Right. He probably _can_ hear his thoughts. 

Zuko swallows, offering Sokka a stilted, “Yeah.”

He can feel Sokka’s gaze heavy on him for a moment before he breaks the silence once more. “How are _you_ doing?” Sokka asks, the heaviness in his tone contrasting with the warmth that had been in his voice earlier. “I’m sure that this is kind of… a _lot_ to go through, in just a couple of days…”

Sokka hit the nail on the head. It _is_ a lot. Zuko spent eight long years of his life wondering what happened to his mom, unsure if she was alive or dead, feeling guilty because he assumed it was his fault - everything was _always_ his fault.

It’s surreal, having her back. 

Zuko takes a deep breath. He’s sure that Sokka can probably hear most of these thoughts, but it feels _weird,_ not vocalizing them. 

“It _is_ a lot…” He admits. He looks down as he speaks, not meeting Sokka’s searching gaze. “I - I honestly don’t know how to feel. On one hand, I’m glad that she got out - that she had another chance at peace and happiness, even if _we_ weren’t in the picture… But at the same time, I’m so grateful to have her back. _And_ I feel guilty for bringing back all of this pain and -”

“She’s your mom, Zuko,” Sokka insists, cutting him off, “I think she’d rather have you, no matter how painful some of those memories may be.”

Zuko is aware that Sokka doesn’t know the _full_ story, but he doesn’t have to, to understand. 

He nods. “I’m sure you’re right. It’s just… _surreal,_ really. I spent so long wondering what happened. I think that was the hardest part - not knowing."

When Sokka doesn’t immediately say anything in response, Zuko finally glances up at him. He’s surprised to find the other teen’s gaze trained on the fire in front of them, a far away look on his face.

Zuko doesn’t have to hear his thoughts to know that he’s probably thinking of his _own_ mother. Although Sokka has only spoken of her once around Zuko, he knows enough to understand that it’s a painful memory. He’s sure that everything that has happened over the past few days has dredged up a lot of those old emotions, and although Sokka puts on a brave face and acts like it doesn’t affect him, Zuko knows that it does. 

“Hey -” he murmurs, reaching forward before he can think about what he’s doing. He halts his movement just before he touches Sokka. “We don’t have to talk about this, right now... I mean, I know -”

“No,” Sokka responds almost immediately, shaking his head. “You’re okay, it’s okay. It’s just… Sometimes I wish I _didn’t_ know. Maybe it would make it easier, you know?”

Zuko understands. He knows that Sokka had been there the day the Fire Nation took his mother. There was no _wondering_ for Sokka, no unanswered questions. She was dead before Sokka even knew what happened, and it isn’t _fair._

But -

“I don’t think there’s anything that can make it easier,” Zuko says, voice gentle, understanding, “Just… time.”

Sokka swallows and nods. Then, after a beat of silence, he holds up the bottle of wine, a small smile playing on his lips as he mutters, “This doesn’t hurt, either.” 

Zuko snorts out a small laugh in response, and _that’s_ when he hears it, quiet and soft.

**_“You’re right, though. I know you are, Zuko.”_ **

Sokka’s thoughts aren’t loud by any means, but they’re clear as day in the back of Zuko’s mind, and for a split second, Zuko wants nothing more than to reach out and hold him, but he stops himself.

Instead, after a quiet moment, he asks, “What was she like?”

Sokka looks at him - _really_ looks at him - eyes wide, lips parted, and immediately, Zuko thinks that maybe, he crossed a line. 

But then, Sokka's face softens into a smile, and it’s this gentle, far away thing.

“Like Katara, but _way_ worse,” he says with a breathy chuckle. 

Zuko smiles at Sokka’s words, waiting for him to go on.

“I was so young, when she -” Sokka starts, then stops himself. He takes a deep breath. “Sometimes, I wonder if I’m making some of the memories up, or if they’re actually real, but I don’t want to upset Katara by asking and -”

Sokka shakes his head, cutting himself off again, and Zuko quickly realizes that this is probably the most he has talked about his mother in a long time. Understanding the sensitivity of the subject, Zuko murmurs, “Sokka, you don’t have to -”

But Sokka interrupts before he can finish.

“I remember this one time - someone, one of dad’s friends, I think, made some off-hand comment about how the _men_ were meant to hunt and fish and provide for their families and that the _‘women should just know their place’_ and she didn’t take that very well,” he recounts with a smile on his face, “That day, while the men were out fishing, she took Katara and I out on the water and we ended up bringing home more fish than any of them combined. Come to think of it, that’s probably why Katara turned out the way she did.”

“Explains _your_ stubbornness, too,” Zuko supplies teasingly. 

“Yeah,” Sokkka says with a chuckle, “She was fierce. Strong willed. Outspoken. I - I’m not surprised that she -”

**_“That she died defending my sister.”_ **

Sokka can’t finish his sentence, but that doesn’t stop Zuko from _hearing_ it. 

He’s still processing the implication of Sokka’s thoughts when he hears him sniffle, and he quickly realizes, as Sokka wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, that he’s crying. 

_“Shit,”_ Zuko hisses. Without thinking about it, he reaches out to grab Sokka’s hands. The bottle of wine, which had been resting easily between them, topples to the ground and spills in the grass. “Sokka -”

Sokka shakes his head, but he doesn’t pull away. In fact, his shoulders just slump forward when he mutters, “Sorry, you’re just - you’re kind of the only person I’ve really talked to about this. I didn’t - I dont- ”

_“Sokka,”_ Zuko repeats, “You’re fine. You have no reason to apologize.”

“It’s stupid,” Sokka continues, ignorning Zuko’s gentle words. “It has been so long… I shouldn’t be - I mean, I should be over it, by now. I should be stronger -”

Sokka is going to be the death of him.

“Are you kidding me?” Zuko all but exclaims, suddenly feeling very defensive, even though he’s only defending Sokka from himself. He can’t help it. “You _are_ strong. Sokka, you’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“I bet you say that to _all_ of the girls,” Sokka chokes out, forcing some humor into his voice and a small, pained smile to his face. His eyes give him away, though, so Zuko doesn’t relent.

“You took down an entire airship fleet by yourself -” he starts. 

“I had Suki and Toph, too,” Sokka counters. 

“You lead the siege on the Fire Nation during the Day of Black Sun -”

“Yeah, and we _failed.”_

“You’re a brilliant strategist and an impressive warrior,” Zuko insists, ignoring Sokka’s arguments. “The _plan guy._ Without you, we probably wouldn’t even be here.”

Sokka rolls his eyes in response, but Zuko just continues. “You’re stronger than I could ever hope to be, Sokka. I - if I were in your shoes, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to forgive someone like me - someone who wronged you so many times. Or to _keep_ fighting, after everything that happened. I really admire you, Sokka. And I’m _sure_ your mother would be proud of you.”

And _that_ seems to break through. Finally Sokka swallows, his eyes meeting Zuko’s in the dim firelight. “You mean that?”

“Yeah,” Zuko breathes, “I do.”

It’s only _then_ that Zuko realizes how close they are, that they’re touching - _he’s holding Sokka’s hands_ \- and Sokka hasn’t pulled away yet. It’s only then that he notices the way that Sokka looks at him like he thinks he’s going to disappear, that he seems to be hanging on his every word. 

It’s _then_ that Zuko really realizes how _beautiful_ Sokka is. Of course, if he’s being honest with himself, Zuko knew ages ago that Sokka was attractive. But right now, he really takes in his beauty - inside and out. His drive, his passion, his desire to do the right thing. He _also_ sees the hurt inside of Sokka - years of pretending that everything is okay, of staying strong for his sister and his tribe. 

And _spirits,_ Zuko wants to tell him that he’s doing enough. That he has done _more_ than enough. He wants Sokka to know just how much he is loved, and tell him that it’s okay to _let go._

He _also_ just really wants to kiss Sokka right now. Maybe that’s the alcohol talking. Maybe it’s not.

Wordlessly, Zuko lets go of one of Sokka’s hands in favor of reaching out to gently cup his cheek, using his thumb to carefully wipe some of the tears from his face. He’s not really sure where he’s going with this, what exactly he’s doing, but Sokka doesn’t pull away. In fact, his eyes actually fall closed as he leans into the touch.

For a moment, time seems to stand still.

Then, Sokka’s looking up at him, with heavy eyes and a small smile, murmuring out a hesitant, _“Hey.”_

And before Zuko knows what he’s doing, before he can talk himself out of it, he’s leaning forward, catching Sokka’s parted lips in a soft kiss. The second he does it, he freezes, unsure of _what_ exactly he’s doing and terrified that he just made a huge mistake. In fact, he’s just about to pull away, to immediately start apologizing profusely when -

When Sokka’s own hand moves to cover Zuko’s where it rests on his cheek, and leans into the kiss. _Sokka kisses him back._

Zuko could scream. He could probably cry. He didn’t know what he expected, when he took this leap, but it certainly wasn’t _this._ He didn’t allow himself to imagine Sokka’s dry lips returning the kiss, nor the heaviness of Sokka’s hand on his own. Up until recently, he wouldn’t even admit out loud that he’s been longing for this, that this was something that he actually wanted. 

But _spirits,_ does he want it. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long. 

Sokka is the one to pull away, quickly, as if the touch burns him. The abrupt movement startles Zuko and for a moment, he glances around at their surroundings, wondering if something happened. Maybe he misjudged her and Azula _did_ come back. Maybe it was one of the spirits from the forest.

Or maybe -

It dawns on Zuko as he searches out Sokka’s eyes in the dying firelight, that maybe, Sokka is having second thoughts. 

Sure enough, all hopes of this being a _good_ thing plummet when he meets Sokka’s surprised gaze.

_Oh._

_“Shit,”_ Zuko breathes, “I’m sorry, I - _fuck,_ Sokka -”

This was a mistake. Zuko should have known better. If something was going to happen, it would have happened ages ago. They even _talked_ about it. What was he thinking?

“It’s okay - _hey_ \- it’s okay,” Sokka insists, raising his hands as if to say _it’s just me, you’re fine._ It’s enough to shake Zuko out of his thoughts, but not quite enough to stop him from feeling like a complete moron. 

“But -” Zuko starts, but Sokka is quick to interrupt him. 

“I had plenty of chances to stop you, and I didn’t,” Sokka explains, “It’s okay. _Trust me.”_

And when Zuko just cocks his head slightly in response, not quite understanding, Sokka offers him a knowing smile. 

“I can hear your thoughts, _remember?”_ he says with a laugh. “The whole... _‘kiss Sokka’_ one was pretty damn loud.”

Zuko wants to smack himself. He settles for burying his head in his hands, grumbling, _“I’m an idiot.”_

But to his surprise, Sokka just _laughs._ “I mean, I’m not going to argue with you there, buddy…”

He seems so… _unbothered_ by the whole situation that it’s really throwing Zuko off. Does he really not care? Or is this just Sokka putting on a front like he always does? 

Zuko lifts his head just slightly, cracking an eye open to look at him.

“I’m not _mad_ at you,” Sokka assures, “So you can stop _thinking_ that.”

Zuko exhales, deflating a little _“Great.”_

The air between them is still tense, though. Words hang unsaid between them. Thoughts, too. 

Zuko can feel Sokka’s next word coming before he hears it out loud. 

**_“But…”_ **

_“Suki,”_ Zuko supplies, suddenly understanding. He shakes his head. “I know. _Fuck._ I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I just -”

“I mean, from my end, it sounded like you did a _lot_ of thinking,” Sokka teases, cracking a smile. It dissipates, though, when his comment doesn’t seem to lighten Zuko’s miserable mood. 

“But _really,_ you’re fine,” Sokka insists again. He takes a deep breath, holding it for a moment, then exhales it on a sigh. “If I’m being completely honest, Zuko, I’ve thought about it a lot, too. I just… _I don’t know._ I don’t know what I want, okay?”

Zuko nods. He wishes he was as good as articulating his feelings right now as Sokka seems to be. Instead, he just mutters, “I know the feeling.”

“Hey…” Sokka, not one to let Zuko wallow in his own self-pity, elbows him after a moment of silence, prompting Zuko to glance up at him.

Sokka doesn’t speak, but his thoughts are loud and clear. 

**_“I kissed you back, didn’t I?”_ **

Zuko takes another deep breath, trying to register what this means. “Okay…”

Sokka offers him a small smile in response, and it’s this sad, bittersweet thing, gone in an instant. “I just… I need to think about things. Is that okay?” 

Of course. Of course that’s _okay._ Zuko finds himself nodding muttering, “Yeah. Definitely.”

Then, there’s a gentle hand on Zuko’s, and Sokka, bless his soul, offers him another grin. “Great, Wanna kiss and make up?”

Zuko can’t help the exasperated groan that falls from his lips. Sokka is going to be the death of him. The asshole. 

“Okay, okay,” Sokka says with a chuckle, “Too soon. Sorry.” Then, he’s standing and tugging gently at Zuko’s hand. “Come on, get up _Fire Lord._ I think it’s time for bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON’T HATE ME I’M SORRY. At least something happened, right??
> 
> Also, I apologize if I wasn't SUPER clear with details surrounding what happens in The Search comics in this. I just really didn't want to focus on that aspect of things, and will be taking a step away from any canon material in this fic from here on out!
> 
> EDIT: Because a couple of people have brought it up in previous chapters and a few did in the comments of this chapter, I just want to clarify something really quick. Sokka and Zuko are only intermittently hearing each other's thoughts at this point because they're both confused dweebs who still have no idea what they want. They're slowly figuring it out, but not quite there.


	8. adrift in an open sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the timeline’s sake, the events of this chapter happen over the course of the next year, with Sokka starting the chapter at about 18 years old and ending it around 19. 
> 
> Also, the city referred to as “Cranefish Town” in this chapter is Republic City before it became Republic City. They refer to it as such in the comics, so I figured I’d keep it the same here. (Even though I kind of ignore some of the events of the North & South comics. Oh well. It’s pretty much the last time I reference the comics in this story.)

_I woke, cold and alone  
Adrift in an open sea  
Caught up in regrets  
And tangled in nets  
Instead of your arms wrapped around me  
And I wept, but my tears are anathema here  
Just more water to fill my lungs _

\- [Digital Sea](https://open.spotify.com/track/6zumICgCACEJMe2HIhIa4t?si=wB4F178NQHaLlztZqJ_XDA) \- Thrice

* * *

Sokka would like to say it doesn’t, but the kiss changes things. 

Prior to the kiss, Sokka would say that he had his feelings in check. _Sure,_ he wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t at least feel _a little_ confused around Zuko, that he didn’t feel _something_ for him, but at least he had it under control. Before the kiss, they were easing into friendly territory, and Sokka _liked_ _it_ there. It felt _comfortable_ there. As friends, Sokka didn’t have to worry if maybe, he was making the wrong choice by staying with Suki, that maybe, he was leading her on if he truly was meant to end up with Zuko. As friends, Sokka had someone who was always on the same page as him, who _understood_ his thoughts and knew how to challenge him or back him up, when needed. He and Zuko work _well_ as friends.

Then, Zuko kisses him, and everything goes out the window. But if Sokka is being honest, it isn’t just the kiss that changes things. If he’s being honest, nothing has been the same since the comet, since the end of the war and that morning that they talked about everything outside of Iroh’s tea shop in Ba Sing Se. 

Logically - and Sokka _is_ always the logical one - he knows that he can’t place all of the blame on Zuko. He knows that he was just as much at fault because he saw the kiss coming and he didn’t do anything to stop it. Zuko’s thoughts and intentions were loud and clear, but Sokka didn’t deny him or stop him and he can’t blame Zuko for that.

When Sokka hears Zuko’s thoughts loud and clear that night, as they sit around the campfire, drinking wine straight out of the bottle, he doesn’t put a stop to it. At least not immediately. He leans into Zuko’s touch and he doesn’t pull away even when he hears loud and clear from Zuko:

**_“I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.”_ **

Zuko’s thoughts are like quickfire in that moment, ranging from anger and frustration because Sokka still doesn’t understand that he’s a valued member of their team, to open awe and attraction, but _that one…_ _that one thought stands out among the rest._ Sokka knows that if he were a smart man, he would pull away, that he would tell Zuko that _they’ve talked about this_ and _he needs time_ but honestly…

He’s been wondering what it would be like to kiss Zuko, too. How can he not? If the spirits really didn’t fuck this up - if they chose them for one another - then there must be something there, right?

And that’s the problem. There _is._

The kiss changes things, and it absolutely fucking _terrifies_ Sokka. It’s not that he’s repulsed by the fact that a firebender - the fucking _Fire Lord_ \- is his soulmate. Sure, that might have been the case at the beginning, when it first dawned on him that he could hear Zuko’s thoughts when they were still enemies, but not anymore. No, Sokka is long past that level of thinking. It’s more so the fact that their relationship was so complicated from the start that Sokka had already started to move on - to look for love elsewhere - by the time Zuko actually became an important part of his life. 

By the time Sokka is sitting by the fire in Hira’a with Zuko, he has already been with Suki for two years. _Two years._ Sure, he and Zuko might be soulmates or whatever, but he can’t just throw that away. 

Because Sokka _loves_ Suki. She might not be his soulmate, but that doesn’t mean he can’t love her. He _adores_ her. Sure, Zuko challenges him and connects with him in ways he never thought he would, but _Suki_ does too. He and Suki have history together. They (hopefully) have a future together. He can see himself with Suki. She has always been there for him when he needed it, she taught him to be a better person, a better warrior, a better brother and friend. She _made him_ a better person. Being with her feels... _right_. Safe. Comfortable. 

But he’d be lying if he said he couldn’t see himself with Zuko, too. Those feelings were easy to ignore, easy to push down before Zuko switched sides, before Zuko became _good_ and before he and Zuko formed this weird friendship. Those feelings were even easy to ignore before the kiss. They were something that Sokka just wrote off as pure curiosity, because _of course_ he wants to understand why the spirits chose _Zuko_ as his soulmate, but he’d be lying if he said that over time, he hadn’t developed feelings for Zuko, too. 

Zuko, who had the courage to stand up against everything he ever knew to be true, to turn his back on his father and Azula to join Aang and help save the world. Zuko, who, without question, helped him break into a high security prison to rescue his father and Suki, who was terrified to take his rightful place on the throne because he didn’t want to end up like his father. _Zuko,_ who sometimes still struggles to do the right thing, but _desperately_ wants to, so bad that it hurts. 

Zuko, who managed to pull Sokka out of his shell. Who probably knows more about Sokka than Suki does, which is saying a lot. 

So yeah. _Of course_ Sokka has feelings for Zuko. They’re _soulmates,_ for fuck’s sake, and apparently, _the spirits don’t make mistakes._

But before that kiss, it was easy to ignore.

The kiss changes things, but Sokka doesn’t really stick around long to find out _what._ After Zuko reunites with his mother and returns to the Fire Nation capital, Sokka and Katara leave. They make a pit-stop in Ba Sing Se, then _finally,_ for the first time in years, they go _home._

And Sokka tells himself that he doesn’t leave because he’s running from his problems. Absolutely not. That would be childish and immature and stupid. Right?

No matter the reason, Sokka _leaves_ and he doesn’t see Zuko again for nearly a year.

* * *

Home, as it turns out, has changed a lot, too. Not only has the Southern Water Tribe grown substantially since Sokka and Katara left, but following the events at the North Pole, the Southern and Northern Tribes began communicating again, which meant that their community began to _flourish._ When they return home, it’s to find that their small village has turned into a bustling city, and it certainly takes some getting used to…

It doesn’t take long before Katara is whisked away from the South Pole by Aang and Appa because _they need her_ , but Sokka makes the tough decision to stay behind because _his home_ needs him. The Southern Water Tribe is just beginning to flourish, finally beginning to recover from over one hundred years of oppression and strife and _pain,_ and Sokka wants to be there to help them rebuild. So despite the promise of action and adventure and _seeing Suki_ if he goes with his sister and the Avatar, he stays behind to help his father and his people.

And for a while, he’s content with that. He’s happy to help his father rebuild the Southern Water Tribe. He’s happy to provide his own knowledge of the outside world when it comes to construction or trade or even relations with the other nations. And after helping his family bring some tranquility back to their home, he finally, for the first time in over three years, has some time to rest. 

But as time goes on, it doesn’t feel right, because _time_ changes things too. 

For the first time in _years,_ Sokka has everything he has ever wanted - his dad is finally home, he finally has peace in his village, he’s seen as a hero by the tribe _and_ the other warriors respect him as one of their own - and yet, he doesn’t feel _whole._

He attributes it to the fact that he just spent the past few years traveling with the Avatar, saving the world and helping other nations and colonies and cities rebuild. He probably just needs some time to adjust. But time passes, and he still feels like _something_ is missing. He wonders if this is what the other warriors feel like after returning from war, or if it's just him.

A little voice in the back of his head tells him that it’s also because he decided to run away from his problems, because the other half of his soul is in the Fire Nation, but he buries _that_ deep down and resolves to deal with it later. 

The fact of the matter is, he isn’t the same person that he was when he left the South Pole at just fifteen years old. He has been through _so much._ He has other goals and aspirations now. He has _seen the world_ now. He has grown and changed and came out the other end better because of it. So in some aspects, he’s not surprised that his _home_ doesn’t really feel like home anymore. And as time goes on, this becomes apparent not only to Sokka, but those close to him, as well. 

A few months after Katara and Aang leave for the Earth Kingdom (and spirits know where else) Hakoda _finally_ confronts him about it, albeit gently.

* * *

Community bonfires and large gatherings after a successful hunt or fishing trip are a common occurrence in the South Pole. This wasn’t always the case when Sokka was a child, but now that they have something to celebrate and a reason to be _proud,_ it really brings the tribe together. At first, Sokka _lives_ for the lively get togethers - he loves recounting stories of his travels to some of the teenagers and children in the tribe, and he feels accepted among his fellow warriors when they offer him a drink long after the women and children have gone to bed. 

But after a few months, Sokka begins to tire of it. Eventually, retelling old stories - about Aang and Katara, about the time Toph invented metalbending or the time he kicked the Fire Lord’s ass at _swordbending_ \- gets old. Over time, it just makes Sokka miss his friends. It makes him miss galavanting all over the world with a carefree twelve year old airbender, his emotional sister, a sassy earthbender and the crowned prince of the Fire Nation. 

It’s stupid, really, because he has everything he has ever wanted at home, but he finds himself longing for more. So after nearly six months, it isn’t uncommon for Sokka to quietly excuse himself from the bonfire to retire early for the night or simply just fade into the background. Nobody says anything about it, and it’s fine. Everything is fine. At least, until it’s not. 

Early one evening, just as Sokka is about to excuse himself for the night, he feels a gentle hand on his elbow and when he turns, he’s surprised to find his father smiling warmly at him. “May I have a word with you, Sokka?” he asks. His tone is easy and light, not confrontational or accusatory, but Sokka knows that it’s intentional. He knows that a heavy conversation is coming.

He’s not a little kid anymore, though, so he doesn’t deny his father, and with a nod, he finds himself following him towards his igloo. When they arrive, there’s already a warm fire crackling inside and Sokka knows that his father planned for this. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Sokka asks once they’re alone. He tries to keep his tone light, afraid that he might come off as a bratty teenager, and holds his hands behind his back. 

Hakoda takes a seat in front of the fire and exhales a deep breath before commenting, “You seem blue.” 

It’s… not what Sokka expected at all - not that he knew _what_ to expect - and he matches his father’s gaze, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Hakoda takes pity on him and just chuckles. “Please, sit.”

Wordlessly, Sokka takes a seat next to his father. Again, it’s Hakoda who breaks the silence. 

“What’s on your mind, son?”

And Sokka… _doesn’t know._ He doesn’t _know_ what’s on his mind. He doesn’t know why he’s been feeling so _off_ lately, because this is everything he has ever wanted, yet it doesn’t feel _right._ But that’s putting it wrong. It feels -

Before Sokka knows what he’s doing, he’s saying the first thing that comes to his mind. 

“Right after the war, after Aang defeated Fire Lord Ozai, I had a conversation with Zuko,” he begins.

He doesn’t tell his father _everything -_ he certainly doesn’t tell him that Zuko is his soulmate, nor does he tell him what happened between him and Zuko not so long ago on Hira’a - but he _does_ recount one specific conversation with Zuko, the one they had outside of Iroh’s tea shop, just before sunrise, right after the war. 

_“It doesn’t feel right, for things to go back to normal, after so much bad has happened,” Zuko had told him, “After so much has changed.”_

Sokka doesn’t realize it until he’s sitting across from his father that night, but those words still ring true, three years later. Admittedly, Sokka _is_ having a hard time figuring out what his new _normal_ is, because as much as he would like to just pick up where he left off and live out his dream of helping his dad rebuild his home, eventually taking over as chieftain of the Southern Water Tribe, he’s not entirely sure if that’s what he wants now.

So he tells his father exactly how he feels. He tells him about his conversation with Zuko, and how he still feels that way - that things _aren’t_ normal. He tells his father that he doesn’t know if things can go back to the way they were before. Sokka lets it all spill out for the first time since that morning in Ba Sing Se, and his father just… _listens._

He listens until Sokka is done talking, and finally, once he has exhausted himself, his father just offers him a smile. It’s this warm, yet bittersweet thing, as if he already knows the answer to all of Sokka’s troubles. 

And he just says, “Fire Lord Zuko is wise beyond his years.”

For a brief moment, Sokka panics. He worries that, in the midst of his word vomit, maybe he let it slip to his father that the _Fire Lord_ was in fact his soulmate, and that _maybe_ , that’s partially why he’s feeling so conflicted, but just as fast as the panic is there, it’s gone when Hakoda adds, “You’re very lucky to have a friend like him.”

Sokka responds with a deep sigh and a far away, “Yeah…”

Thankfully, before he can say anything he might regret, his father continues speaking. 

“Sokka, I’m incredibly grateful to have you here while we rebuild and expand our home, and I couldn’t be more proud of everything that you’ve accomplished at such a young age,” he comments, warmth seeping into his voice, “But… I don’t want you to feel like you _need_ to stay here for me, or for your people.”

Sokka furrows his brows, not quite understanding what his father is getting at. “Dad, what -”

“Katara found her place at Aang’s side, helping him bring peace to the four nations,” Hakoda continues, “Although the war is over, he still has plenty of work to do…”

When Hakoda pauses, Sokka finally interjects. “What are you saying?” 

His father offers him a gentle smile, and it reminds Sokka of the day that he left to fight in the war, as if he knows what’s best for his son. Hell, he still probably does. “What I’m saying, Sokka, is that you’re always welcome here at home, but maybe, it’s time you figure out what you really want… where _your_ place is in this new world,” he says, “Your friend, _the Fire Lord,_ is right - maybe it’s best that things don’t go back to normal, but instead, keep moving forward.”

And… _shit._ Sokka hadn’t been expecting _that._ He averts his gaze, suddenly feeling that, if he looks his father in the eyes right now, he might break down and cry, and not because he feels slighted or unwanted or under-appreciated, but because he _knows_ he’s right and it’s fucking terrifying. 

“But what about you?” Sokka asks once he trusts himself to speak, “What about the tribe?”

Suddenly, there’s a warm hand on his shoulder, and when Sokka looks up, his father is offering him a warm, reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine, son, trust me. You know you’re welcome back whenever you like, but _maybe,_ it’s time that you join your friends on another adventure.”

* * *

Sokka listens to his father. Which, in a weird, roundabout way, means he’s listening to _Zuko,_ but he doesn’t think about that. 

The next chance he has to leave, he takes it, jumping on the next ship to the Earth Kingdom without looking back. It’s terrifying and unknown and _new_ , but it feels right. Eventually, Sokka links up with Katara and Aang, and for the next few months, he finds himself falling back into a comfortable routine, solving problems with the Avatar and seeing new places and trying new things. And, surprise surprise, things feel… _good._

Although Sokka still isn’t completely sure where exactly he _fits_ in this new world, it feels good to be back on the road with his sister and the Avatar. Over the next few months, Sokka finds himself thinking that maybe, he’s not built to stay in one place for too long, anymore. Maybe, he was built for this. Although he always dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps, dreams can change.

 _Fate_ can change.

* * *

No matter how much time has passed, no matter how many times Sokka reminds himself that they’re not his enemy anymore, Fire Nation airships will always fill him with an overwhelming sense of dread. Much like the sickening sight of black snow in the South Pole, the silhouette of the airships, easily recognizable against clear blue sky, trigger some _not so great_ memories for Sokka. You know, nearly losing your girlfriend and then believing for a hot minute that you were about to _die_ at the young age of fifteen while onboard one of those airships will do that to you, no matter how much time has passed. 

So when Sokka watches the airships arrive in the rapidly-growing Cranefish Town for the first time, he can’t help the way his mouth goes dry, or the heavy dread that weighs him down before he reminds himself that they’re _good,_ now. That they _invited_ the Fire Lord to Cranefish Town and _of course_ he’d arrive via airship - they’re fast and efficient. 

Sokka cringes and reminds himself to tell Zuko that maybe, they should consider redesigning them to look less… well, intimidating. War like. _Evil._

Zuko. _Right._

When the Fire Lord arrives in Cranefish Town for the first time, Sokka realizes that it has been nearly a year since the last time they saw one another. A year since they set out on their mission to find Zuko’s mother. Nearly a year since that quiet night in Hira’a.

A year since the kiss.

Sokka hasn’t forgotten about it, of course. He may have pushed it to the back of his mind, buried it under mountains of guilt because he _still_ hasn’t told Suki about it and he’s a real asshole for that, but no. He hasn’t forgotten about it.

And he’s sure that Zuko hasn’t, either. 

But, when the Fire Lord steps off of his stupid, intimidating Fire Nation airship, Sokka does what he does best and puts on a happy face. After all, it’s been nearly a _year_ since they’ve seen Zuko, and he should be excited, right?

Of course, he _is_ excited. He really is. He’s just nervous, as well. Anxious. Unsure. 

And naturally, those nerves make for quite possibly the most _awkward_ reunion known to mankind. While Aang nearly tackles Zuko as soon as he’s close enough, yelling something embarrassing like, “I missed you, _hotman!”_ , Katara wraps him in a warm, welcoming embrace, Toph punches him gently and even _Suki_ greets the young man who once burned down her village with what appears to be _joy,_ Sokka isn’t so sure where they stand now. Is hugging cool? He certainly shouldn’t just go plant a kiss on the Fire Lord’s cheek, but bowing is definitely too formal and out of the question...

So instead, Sokka opts for an awkward wave and a hesitant, _“Hey,_ buddy!”

And he pretends not to notice when he sees Zuko’s face fall in return.

_Man, how’d you manage to fuck that one up? You should have just hugged him, you idiot. Now you just look like a moron, and Katara is staring at you and -_

**_“Sokka,”_** a voice - one that he hasn’t heard in nearly a year, let alone this _intimately_ \- suddenly cuts his thoughts short, **_“Please, shut up.”_**

It’s unexpected and unnerving but the tone of Zuko’s thought is surprisingly warm and _fond_ and when Sokka catches the firebender’s eye, he’s happy to spy a small smile on his face. So without another word, he steps forward and wraps his friend in a tight hug. 

“Sorry,” Sokka mutters out loud, just above a whisper, but loud enough for Zuko to hear, “I’m a moron.”

Zuko, without missing a beat, teases back, “I’m well aware.”

And just like that, Sokka lets himself believe that everything will be okay. They have a strong friendship - one that has withstood many obstacles and challenges and near-death experiences - and he would be stupid to let one little kiss ruin that, _soulmates_ or not. 

_Right?_

* * *

Zuko doesn’t stay in Cranefish Town for more than a few days - Aang had mainly invited him to the bustling new town to ask for his input on their new cultural center - but somehow, his presence manages to have a lasting effect on Sokka. 

Most notably, it has a lasting effect on his relationship with Suki.

He feels ashamed to admit it, but even after a year, Sokka hasn’t told Suki about the kiss. Where would he even begin? She doesn’t even know that Zuko is his _soulmate_ . How is he supposed to just _drop that_ on her?

He can’t.

So after Zuko leaves Cranefish Town, Sokka slips away to be by himself, because he doesn’t trust himself around anyone else right now. Because he doesn't want anyone - _especially_ Suki - to see just how affected he was by seeing Zuko for just a few days. 

And _that’s_ stupid, too. He and Zuko barely had a moment alone together - which is _fine_ \- but somehow, Sokka still feels affected by his presence. Because just when he thought he had it all figured out again - just when he thought he had his feelings in check once more - Zuko showed up and everything went out the window. Suddenly, Sokka was thrust back in time to that night in Hira’a, sitting around the campfire, and he _hates_ it. He hates the complicated feelings that arrive with Zuko’s presence because they remind him that life can’t just be _easy_ for once. 

_Moping_ might be a strong word, but that’s exactly what Sokka finds himself doing the night that Zuko departs for the Fire Nation once more, with a promise to see his friends again very soon. Their short week together had been filled with meetings and tours and advising the town leaders on the best way to preserve each nation’s culture while moving forward with construction and expansion, and after they say goodbye, Sokka can’t help but wish that he had more time to spend with his friend. In a way, he feels guilty. After everything that happened between them, he kind of felt like he ran away to the South Pole, as if that would solve all of his problems. Then, when it didn’t, he ran away with the Avatar once more. And _now,_ Sokka wishes that he would have just sucked it up and maintained his friendship with Zuko a bit better, because five short days together is _not_ enough and he already misses him and -

 _Alright,_ so he probably has some feelings for Zuko that haven’t been addressed, and nearly a year apart has done nothing for that. And yeah, he probably _is_ moping, but sue him. He’s still young. He’s only _nineteen,_ for spirits’ sake, and everything is so new, so stupid and confusing.

So the night that Zuko departs for the Fire Nation once more, Sokka finds himself moping down at the docks, staring out at the ocean and wondering _what in the world_ he is supposed to do, because he _thought_ he was over this. He thought he was over the whole, _trying to figure out his soulmate problem_ thing, because he told Zuko that he wasn’t ready, and he _loves_ Suki and… and -

 _And,_ right on cue, as if _she_ can read his thoughts, Suki’s voice rings out from behind him. 

“I thought I’d find you down here.”

Sokka nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden sound and Suki stifles a laugh when he turns to look at her. “Sorry,” she offers with a sheepish smile, “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“You know, I think you kind of _did,”_ Sokka teases back, which only earns another laugh from his girlfriend. 

“May I sit?” She asks once she’s standing next to him at the edge of the dock. Sokka has pulled his shoes off, his toes just barely grazing the water’s surface as it laps gently against the dock. 

There’s plenty of space next to him, so he pats the wood. “Of course.”

Unlike Sokka, Suki doesn’t take her shoes off, doesn’t dip her feet in the water. In fact, even as she sits next to him, he can tell that she seems a little stiff. On edge. 

Not for the first time, Sokka finds himself wishing that he could hear _her_ thoughts, but before he can ask what brought her down here, Suki breaks the silence. 

“What’s on your mind?”

It’s an innocent, honest question, so why does Sokka feel so _guilty_ when she asks it? How does he begin to tell her that _everything_ is on his mind? That he’s currently questioning every decision he’s ever made, that he doesn’t feel good enough for her _or_ the young man that the spirits chose for him because he can’t _make up his damn mind?_

He _doesn’t_ tell her that. Instead, he just sighs and says, “So much has changed from when we first met on Kyoshi Island, huh? You… Me… _The entire world._ It’s just… it’s crazy, how we ended up here.”

Sokka doesn’t look up at Suki when he speaks, but he can hear the weight in her voice when she replies, “We’re not the same kids we were back then.”

 _That_ gets his attention. At Suki’s words, Sokka glances up to find _her_ gazing out over the ocean, her eyes distant and far away, lost in thought. Before she speaks again, Sokka already knows that this conversation has been a long time coming. It’s like the calm before the storm. He can feel the electricity in the air. Something shifts. 

Suki takes a deep breath. “Sokka, do you remember that night, right before the comet, when we were all sitting around the fire?”

Sokka chokes out a laugh, one that doesn’t quite reach his face, and responds, “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

Truthfully, he _knows_ which night she’s talking about, but he wants her to prove him wrong. He _wants_ to be wrong. 

Suki offers him a small, fond smile before clarifying, “The night that we talked about soulmates.”

 _“Oh,”_ Sokka replies, feigning surprise, “Yeah, I remember.”

Suki nods, turning her gaze back out to the water. It’s quiet for a long moment between them before she speaks again. When she does, Sokka fears that he already knows where this is going, and he wants to stop it. He wants to go back, to change the way things are, because _he doesn’t want this._

“I know we’re not each other’s soulmates,” Suki says at last, “We’ve both known that for a long time. And as _you_ know, I’m perfectly okay with that… but I want you to be completely honest with me here, okay?” 

Sokka swallows and nods. “Okay.

“Did you know then that Zuko was your soulmate?”

As soon as Suki sat down next to him, Sokka sensed that this was going to be a conversation that he didn’t want to have - that he was going to walk away from this a different person - but he didn’t expect… _this._ He didn’t expect such a pointed question. He didn’t expect Suki to _know._

Sokka’s eyes go wide with surprise when he chokes out, _“What?”_

“He _is_ your soulmate, isn’t he?” Suki asks instead of repeating herself, but she doesn’t sound mad. Her tone isn’t angry or accusatory - it’s just soft and gentle - and somehow, that makes him feel _worse._

He feels dirty. He feels ashamed. He should have told her. She should have heard it from him.

Sokka doesn’t know what to say, “I - Suki -”

 _“Sokka,”_ she interrupts, finally turning to look at him. A small, bittersweet smile tugs on her lips when she insists, “I’m not mad. I just want to know.” 

So Sokka _doesn’t_ lie. He swallows, and, throat tight, mutters, _“Yeah._ I knew.”

Suki doesn’t immediately respond to Sokka’s belated confession. She just hums thoughtfully, her gaze drifting down to the water, impossible to read. 

Before he can stop himself, Sokka says the first thing that comes to mind. “He didn’t -”

“No,” Suki interrupts before he can even get the words out, “He didn’t tell me.”

And _oh._ Was it _that_ obvious?

Sokka wants to sink in on himself. He wants to jump into the bay and let the water take him out to sea. He wants to curse the spirits for bringing him and Suki together, only to decide that his soulmate was someone else entirely. And he wants to curse them for letting him fall for _Zuko,_ too. For hurting _both_ of them.

He doesn’t do any of those things, though. Instead, after a long moment of silence, Sokka just asks, voice far away in his own ears, “This is the end for us, isn’t it?”

At that, Suki finally lets her mask fall. She lets out a deep breath as if she didn’t even know she was holding it, and replies, “I think so.”

And Sokka, feeling as if he’s holding onto the tattered pieces of their relationship before it blows away in the wind, blurts out, hopeful and naive, “It doesn’t have to be, you know.”

“Sokka…” Suki breathes and _that,_ just the sound of her saying his name like that, is like the nail in the coffin. “You and I both knew that we weren’t each other’s soulmates... At the risk of sounding awfully depressing, we knew that this day was going to come eventually.”

“But -” 

“We can’t do this to ourselves,” Suki interrupts, and it’s _then_ that Sokka understands how this is affecting _her._ How much this is eating at her. Her voice cracks when she speaks, and Sokka is reminded that, despite the fact that she is one of the strongest people he knows, she's hurting, too. Looking at the person you love and knowing that the spirits chose someone else for them… it’s not easy. And _he_ did this to her. 

She shakes him out of his self-pitying thoughts and continues, “Even if we stay together, it wouldn’t be fair to you _or_ me, Sokka. You’d always wonder if you were supposed to be with someone else, and I’d always feel like I’m never enough. That’s not fair.”

 _“Shit,”_ Sokka swears. He doesn’t know where to start, what to say, but he supposes that an apology is fitting. “Suki, I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to -”

“It’s _okay,”_ Suki assures with a soft, sad smile. She reaches out to place her hand over his - a gentle display of affection, and insists, “I know that this is for the best, and you do too. You deserve to be happy. We _both_ do.”

“I’m happy with _you_ ,” Sokka argues, afraid to move because he doesn’t want her to take her hand away. 

_“I know,”_ Suki insists, “But you’re also happy with him.”

And _spirits,_ isn’t that the cold, hard truth? How does Suki seem to understand this better than he does?

“I’m not _with_ him,” Sokka argues, his breath catching in his throat. “How can you -”

“I see the way you look at him,” she answers gently. 

Sokka opens his mouth to argue, to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, but Suki stops him short. 

“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” she assures. “Look, Sokka… I knew that this was a long time coming, and I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but you know as well as I do that this is for the best. I love you, but I can’t do this to myself. And I don’t want to be the person to keep you from your destiny.”

“Well, what about _choosing your own destiny?”_ Sokka argues in return. 

It’s funny. He has been struggling with this for _so long,_ trying to figure out what _his_ destiny is, and now that Suki has spelled it all out for him - _he belongs with Zuko -_ it’s like he doesn’t want to hear it. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s because Suki makes him feel safe and comfortable, and being with Zuko would be like charging blindly into the unknown, but he doesn’t want to lose her. 

Sokka wants to tell Suki that it’s much more complicated that the spirits just _choosing_ someone for you, that you don’t just immediately fall in love with someone, but it’s something that happens over time, naturally, and -

_Oh._

_Oh, fuck._

“There’s something to be said about that,” Suki muses, shaking Sokka out of his thoughts, “But I think I know which destiny you would choose. You just need to look inward to figure it out.”

“You’re starting to sound like Iroh…” Sokka retorts, trying to keep his tone light. Trying to pretend that this isn’t the end for them, that he didn’t just have an earth-shattering revelation about _Zuko_ while trying desperately to cling onto his ill-fated relationship with Suki. 

“I _have_ been spending a lot of time around him,” Suki replies with a smile, “He’s a wise man. He raised Zuko well.”

Sokka… doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to do. Things with Suki… they just came so _easy._ She challenged him to be a better person, to see things from a new perspective. She’s strong-willed and loyal and fiercely protective of those she cares about. She’s everything that Sokka _wants_ to be, and maybe that’s why loving her came so easy - because it sure, it changed who Sokka was, it made him _better_ , but it didn’t make him question everything he has ever known.

As they sit on the dock together, the only sound between them the water lapping up against the shore and badger-toads croaking off in the distance, Sokka finds himself thinking of a conversation that he had with a strange woman when he was just fifteen years old and _very_ confused. 

_“You have a great capacity for love, Sokka,”_ Aunt Wu had told him all those years ago, _“That love can take many forms, with many different people.”_

Sokka glances up at Suki and finds himself thinking that _maybe,_ that phony psychic was right about something. He’d never admit it out loud, of course, but if Aunt Wu was to be believed, then maybe, she was onto something when she told Sokka, _“It will bring you great joy, but also great sorrow. It will challenge your convictions and make you question who you are and what you truly want, but just remember that if you follow your heart, it will never lead you astray.”_

The only problem is, he’s not quite sure what his heart _wants,_ where his heart is leading him. But he's sure that he's about to find out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I REALLY hope I did our girl Suki justice here. I a) haven’t really written her character before and b) knew that their relationship needed to come to an end eventually for this story to progress, so I hope it doesn’t come off as out of character or anything. I just kind of figured she’d be the type to face the situation head-on and be practical about things, even if her heart was broken. 
> 
> ALSO, I hope some of Sokka’s introspection in this chapter helps to clear a few things up. I know y’all had a lot of questions after the last couple of chapters, especially since they were all from Zuko’s POV, so hopefully some good ole’ Sokka content cleared some of that up! The next chapter will be from his POV again, too!


	9. if you'd let me I would move again

_ I drew the poison from the summer's sting,  
And eased the fire out of your fevered skin.  
I moved in you and stirred your soul to sing;  
And if you'd let me I would move again. _

\- [Silver Wings](https://open.spotify.com/track/39n6WsX9L0gyXkyDzVXyFr?si=HAdVawNFSrK4amSrcvWAoA) \- Thrice

* * *

Alright, so maybe Sokka  _ does _ have some unchecked feelings towards the Fire Lord. Fire Lord Zuko. Zuko, his best friend. His soulmate,  _ Zuko. _

_ Spirits, _ how did everything get so messed up? 

Deep down, Sokka  _ knows _ how. It’s not like the start of their relationship was  _ easy _ by any means. For the first few months that they knew each other (and  _ knew _ is a loose term), Zuko was hell bent on doing whatever it took to capture the Avatar, leaving villages and cities burning in his wake, uncaring if he hurt others - his friends and family included - in the process. So _ of course _ Sokka rejected the fact that they were soulmates.  _ Of course _ he sought out love and intimacy and connection elsewhere. And just because you have a soulmate doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with someone else. 

By the time Zuko had become integrated as a part of their group, turned good and dead set on proving his kindness and loyalty and change of heart,  _ Sokka had Suki. _ Sokka was  _ happy _ with Suki, then Zuko had to go and  _ turn good _ and actually look  _ devastatingly attractive _ with his long hair and kind eyes, and make everything all complicated. Why couldn’t he just stay evil? Things were so much simpler, then.

Of course, Sokka  _ knows _ that Zuko was never destined to “stay evil.” He wasn’t even truly  _ evil _ to begin with. He was just a confused kid who wanted to earn the love and respect of an uncaring, abusive, sadistic father. Sometimes, when Sokka thinks back to the Zuko that he first met - an angry, explosive, aggressive sixteen year old - it’s hard to believe that he grew up to be the same compassionate, patient and sensitive Fire Lord that he is now. The Zuko from back then and the Zuko now are two entirely different people. At least, that’s what Sokka tells himself when he catches himself staring at the Fire Lord for just a  _ little _ too long the next time they see each other at a meeting with King Kuei in Ba Sing Se, only a few weeks after Suki dumps him. Deep down, though, Sokka knows that your past  _ makes you _ who you are. It shapes you. It just so happens that Zuko’s past shaped him into a great friend and a strong leader. 

Zuko’s past shaped him into someone that Sokka surprisingly doesn’t  _ mind _ calling his soulmate. So why is it  _ so damn hard to talk to him about it? _

Over the course of the next year, Sokka sees Zuko more than he anticipated, but for no longer than just a few days at a time here or there, when Zuko needs the spiritual guidance of the Avatar in the Fire Nation, or when Zuko is called upon to sign a treaty or trade agreement in the Earth Kingdom, or even when Zuko offers to help kickstart the cleanup and restoration process of the Northern Air Temple. Their meetings are brief, and although Sokka knows that they probably should talk about their  _ bond -  _ or whatever it is that they want out of it - there’s never a good time. There’s never the right time. He never catches Zuko thinking about it and he purposefully keeps his thoughts and feelings in check whenever they’re around each other and it’s  _ fine. _ It really is.

And, of course, there’s also the fact that  _ he _ doesn’t even know what he wants out of it. 

Sokka would be lying if he said he wasn’t  _ devastated _ after his breakup with Suki. Although she wasn’t his soulmate, he still  _ loved her, _ and it still hurt to lose her. Of course, he doesn’t lose her as a  _ friend, _ but for the first few months following their breakup, their relationship is strained and rocky, like they don’t really know how to move forward. And even as they move into comfortable, friendly territory, Sokka is certain that their relationship will never be the same as it once was.

When he sees Zuko for the first time after his split with Suki, he finds himself thinking that maybe, they would just be better off as friends, too. Spirits forbid he fuck up _another_ great friendship by becoming romantically involved with them. Maybe it’s just best if things stay the way they are. 

So he keeps his feelings and thoughts in check. The last thing he needs is for Zuko to  _ hear him _ wallowing in self-pity or struggling to figure out what he wants. So he keeps his guard up around Zuko and decides that for right now, they can just be  _ friends.  _

But Sokka would  _ also _ be lying if he said that his feelings for Zuko don’t evolve over time. Sure, when he first met the angsty firebender with the pony tail in the South Pole - when he first  _ heard his voice in his head -  _ he fucking  _ hated _ him. Resented him. Despised him. Cursed the spirits for even  _ thinking _ that they should end up together. But then, Zuko switched sides and proved that he had changed, and Sokka thought that maybe, this was the beginning of a great friendship - a partnership, someone who truly got him, inside and out. But that’s just it - Zuko  _ gets him. _ Zuko understands him in ways that he knows his other friends _ don’t _ . He has opened up to Zuko more than anyone else - Katara included - and that isn’t just because they have some spiritual link, making it easier to understand each other’s thoughts. It’s because Sokka  _ trusts _ Zuko. 

Because, deep down, he has feelings for Zuko, too. 

But emotions are complicated and messy - even more so after Zuko kisses him and after Suki breaks up with him - so Sokka doesn’t act on them. He does what he does best and buries those feelings down and  _ carries on, _ knowing damn well that they’ll probably resurface at some point and he’ll be forced to deal with them head-on, but  _ not today.  _

No, that doesn’t happen until a year later, a year after Suki dumps him, when Sokka arrives in the Fire Nation for the fifth anniversary of the end of the war. He should see it coming, really. The two weeks in the Fire Nation are the longest amount of time that Sokka has spent with Zuko in over two years, but he tells himself that it’ll be easy. It’ll be fine. Sure, he might have feelings for the Fire Lord (his best friend, his teammate, his  _ soulmate _ ) but he doesn’t need to act on them. Everything is  _ fine _ as it is. 

Two weeks in the Fire Nation. It’ll be a cake walk. At least, that’s what Sokka tells himself until he sees the Fire Lord in the flesh again.

* * *

Spending two weeks in the Fire Nation before the celebration is Aang’s idea - a way to give them plenty of time to catch up and  _ relax _ before the festivities begin. At first, it seems like a great idea. Sokka feels like they’ve been  _ going and going _ for the past… well,  _ five years, _ and they could all use some time to relax, to reunite as  _ Team Avatar _ and catch up again. So much has changed within the past five years, and only seeing each other in passing here and there for a few days at a time only allows for so much bonding and normal  _ friend _ stuff. Even Toph gives her metalbending students two weeks off so she can take a much needed vacation in the Fire Nation, and Sokka can’t help but feel a wave of nostalgia as he, Katara, Aang and Toph dismount Appa in the palace courtyard. 

Five years have passed since the end of the war, and they’ve all done a lot of growing up since then. Sokka isn’t a teenager anymore - he reminds his sister and Aang of this  _ regularly _ after his twentieth birthday - and even Toph and Aang are starting to look more grown up and mature. 

Well, at least as mature as two seventeen year olds who haven’t seen each other in months can  _ look _ . 

As they arrive at the Fire Nation capital, though, Sokka can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic for simpler times. He  _ also _ can’t seem to keep his eyes off the Fire Lord, who greets them in the courtyard with a warm welcome. Assaasination attempts aside, the past five years have been  _ kind _ to Zuko. At twenty-one years old now, he’s actually starting to look the part of the Fire Lord, rather than a teenager playing pretend. His hair, which has grown much longer since the end of the war, is tied neatly up in a topknot, fastened with a golden fire emblem headpiece - his  _ crown, _ Sokka reminds himself - and even his face seems a bit slimmer, more grown up, more mature. 

Not to mention, Zuko’s smile actually touches his  _ eyes _ now. Not that Sokka noticed, or anything. 

Although they only saw each other a few months ago and  _ not much has changed _ since then, Sokka  _ also _ finds himself admiring the way that Zuko carries himself here, in his home. He looks… well,  _ proud _ to welcome his friends to the Fire Nation, and Sokka finds himself thinking that despite the fact that he has spent five years as Fire Lord, he looks  _ nothing _ like his father. Zuko will  _ never _ take after Ozai, and the Fire Nation is lucky to have a leader like him. 

“It’s so great to see you all,” Zuko exclaims as he greets his friends with warm embraces. “Please, follow me. I’ll show you to your rooms.”

* * *

To be fair, spending two weeks in the Fire Nation isn’t  _ bad _ by any means, it’s just… strange, waking up in a warm climate (waking up in a fucking  _ palace)  _ and spending most of the day in a city that Sokka, his friends and his tribe tried to take over on the Day of Black Sun just five short years ago. It feels strange, being able to walk through the capital in traditional Water Tribe clothing and  _ not _ fear for his life or safety. And it feels  _ strange, _ as he begins to fall into a familiar routine with the Fire Lord. 

He doesn’t  _ mean _ for it to happen. It just…  _ does. _ Maybe it has something to do with the spirits. Maybe  _ that’s _ why he and Zuko gravitate to one another. Or  _ maybe, _ it’s something else entirely. Sokka tries not to think about it too much.

His first morning in the Fire Nation capital, Sokka finds himself rising early, just as the sun begins to peek through the thick curtains of his guest bedroom. He can’t help it, really. Months on the run from the Fire Nation followed by years of traveling alongside Aang and Katara coupled with all of the work that he has been doing in Cranefish Town have made Sokka an early riser. At twenty years old, he’s used to it, and in fact, he kind of cherishes quiet early mornings and a moment to himself. 

After quickly getting dressed, Sokka steps outside of his oversized, over the top guest bedroom (he quickly learns that  _ everything _ in the palace is a little extra) and finds himself wandering through the palace’s expansive, quiet corridors. He’s not really sure what he’s doing or what he’s looking for, but ultimately, Sokka reasons that a quiet, early morning stroll never hurt anybody. Plus, the last time that he, Katara and Aang were in the Fire Nation to visit Zuko, he didn’t really get much time to explore, and he can’t help but feel in awe at the vastness of the building and the intricacy of its architecture. The hallways, which he’s sure were once adorned with portraits of Zuko’s great, great, great grandfathers, are now lined with stunning Fire Nation artwork - gold-flaked dragons, delicate, curling flames, even beautiful flowers. 

Sure, the building is  _ massive, _ but Sokka no longer feels afraid inside of it. In fact, he just feels…  _ curious. _ So that’s what propels him forward, what has him peeking into any open doors and wandering through long, sprawling hallways. And upon glancing into one room in particular, about ten minutes into his journey, Sokka can’t help but stop and stare. 

The massive, hand-carved double doors are thrown open, giving him a clear view into what appears to be a modest dining room. At least… modest for the Fire Nation palace. Although the room is smaller than most that surround it, it is still intricately beautiful. The room’s defining features are the floor to ceiling windows on the eastern wall, overlooking the city below and the ocean off in the distance. At this time of the day, the room is painted in golden, early morning light, which shines through the windows, out the double doors and into the hallway where Sokka stands. 

That’s  _ not _ what catches Sokka’s eye, though. Sure, the room is stunning, but it’s the person  _ inside _ the room -  _ Zuko, _ dressed down in casual attire, save for his hair, still pulled up into a topknot, adorned with a golden flame - that has Sokka pausing in the doorway, taking in the sight. Zuko, bending over the dining table to pour himself a cup of tea. 

Suddenly, Sokka feels as if he’s interrupting a private, intimate moment, but just as he turns to leave, it appears that Zuko senses his presence (or hears his thoughts). He glances up and locks eyes with Sokka, who immediately feels frozen to the spot.

“Sorry,” Sokka breaks the sacred silence, unsure, exactly, of what he’s apologizing for, “I -”

But Zuko just shoots him a soft, understanding smile. “You’re fine,” he insists, “Come in.”

Sokka doesn’t have to be told twice. He takes a step into the well-lit room, glancing up at the vaulted ceiling before fixing his eyes back on Zuko.  _ Zuko, _ who looked so poised and powerful and  _ grown up _ in his formal robes when he greeted them yesterday, but who looks so non-threatening and even  _ soft _ now, dressed down in a simple burgundy tunic and pants in the early morning light. 

“I was just going to have a cup of tea,” Zuko continues, shaking Sokka out of his thoughts, “Would you like one?”

“Uh - yeah, sure,” Sokka replies with a shrug. He didn’t really anticipate  _ this _ when he woke this morning, but he’s not complaining. It has been too long since he and Zuko just got to  _ relax _ together. 

Zuko makes small talk as he pours another cup of tea, and Sokka can’t help but wonder if he inherited his habit from his uncle. It seems so out of character from the angsty teenager that Sokka first met, but it fits, now. It’s a testament to how much they’ve grown up since then. “You’re up early,” Zuko comments with a teasing tone to his voice, “I didn’t expect to catch you wandering around the palace until at least this afternoon.”

Sokka huffs out a small laugh. “Yeah, well… traveling with Aang and Katara, you get used to getting up at the crack of dawn.”

“Right,” Zuko says as he takes a seat, “I forgot about that.” 

As they drink their tea, the early morning sun rising higher in the horizon outside the windows, a silence falls between them. Either Zuko is keeping his thoughts to himself or Sokka has just gotten  _ very _ bad at hearing them… so he wouldn’t necessarily call it a  _ comfortable _ silence. In fact, it feels a little loaded. Like the calm before the storm. Like every unspoken conversation that Sokka _ wanted _ to have with Zuko the past few times they saw each other. 

Eventually, he decides to break the silence, but when Sokka opens his mouth to speak, Zuko does, as well.

“This is -”

“Sokka, I -”

Sokka can’t help but snort out a surprised laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did they end up here, so strained and awkward? He’s relieved, however, when Zuko chuckles as well. 

“You first,” Sokka offers, unable to keep the smile from his face. 

Zuko opens, then closes his mouth, then eventually clears his throat before muttering out, “I’m glad you’re here.”

And  _ oh.  _

He continues before Sokka can string together any sort of coherent response. “Over the past few years, we’ve all been so busy…” he says, glancing out the window as he speaks, “I’m grateful that we’ll have some time to spend together  _ not  _ trying to save the world for once.”

“Yeah,” Sokka manages to reply, huffing out a laugh, “That’s kind of what we do, isn’t it?”

Finally, Zuko’s gaze falls on Sokka once more, his eyes heavy. “In a weird way, I miss it sometimes,” he admits, a small smile dancing across his face, “You know, when we go a few months without something  _ exciting _ happening.”

Sokka opens his mouth to agree, to crack a joke about how it’s kind of messed up to  _ miss _ fighting a war as  _ teenagers, _ but his thoughts are promptly cut short when he  _ hears it. _ Zuko’s voice feels familiar in the back of his head, not quite as unnerving as it once was. 

**_“I missed_ ** **you** **_.”_ **

Sokka meets the other boy’s eyes - the other  _ man’s  _ eyes _ , _ because they’re grown up now and when the fuck did  _ that  _ happen? - and finds himself wondering if he meant for him to hear his thought. It feels like a secret. Intimate. Whispered with a low, hushed tone. 

He swallows hard, suddenly very away of his  _ own _ thoughts and mutters out, “Yeah, me too.” 

They fall into another long silence after that, Sokka gingerly sipping on his tea, afraid to say or think something stupid and ruin the moment. Part of him just wants to address the elephant-mouse in the room, but this is only day one of two weeks. What if he manages to fuck this up now? Then he’ll have to deal with painful, awkward silences for another thirteen days. 

Nope. He’ll just keep his mouth shut. 

“What were you going to say?” Zuko asks after a long moment, shaking him from his thoughts again.

Sokka’s head shoots up. For a split second, he worries that Zuko heard his thoughts, that he’s been caught, but then he remembers that he had been about to say something, too, when they both spoke at the same time. “Oh -” he shrugs, “I uh - just… this view, it’s amazing.”

Zuko offers him a smile in response, his gaze turning to the stunning view outside the windows. It’s not a  _ complete _ lie - this  _ is _ easily one of the most beautiful rooms in the palace - and if Zuko hears his thoughts, he doesn’t call him on it. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he agrees, “It’s my favorite place to enjoy a cup of tea in the morning, as the sun rises.” 

“I can see why,” Sokka murmurs in response, but he doesn’t follow Zuko’s gaze out the window. Instead, he keeps his eyes trained on the man in front of him. Sokka would be damned if he didn’t commit the sight of Zuko  _ like this _ to memory. Zuko, fair skin painted in golden morning light, the sun reflected in his amber eyes. He seems to  _ come alive _ in the sunlight, and it nearly takes Sokka’s breath away.  _ Spirits.  _ Sokka just hopes that Zuko can’t hear his thoughts right now.  _ That  _ would be embarrassing.

* * *

They fall into an easy routine, after that first morning. Sokka regularly wakes up just after sunrise, and when he wanders into the intimate dining room the next morning, Zuko already has a cup of tea waiting for him. It feels easy. Simple. Falling into a routine with Zuko comes naturally, and Sokka doesn’t do anything to stop it from happening. He wouldn’t  _ want _ to. 

Some mornings, after their tea, Sokka will accompany Zuko outside to the courtyard where he trains. For some reason, he can’t quite bring himself to ask the other man to spar - something about being worried that he’s already disrupting Zuko’s daily routine enough just by being there - and instead, finds himself whittling away on a whalebone carving that he’s been working on while Zuko practices his firebending forms. Other days, when Zuko has an occasional meeting to attend, Sokka will wait for his sister or Aang or Toph to get up so they can go explore the city. Either way, for the next two weeks, they always end the day with supper together, whether it’s in the palace or at one of Zuko’s favorite local establishments. 

The two week vacation isn’t without a few fun, exciting group activities, too. One afternoon, Zuko charters a ship and takes his friends out on the ocean. The warm summer air coupled with the cool sea breeze makes for a perfect afternoon, and by the time Sokka finds himself trying to teach Toph how to properly fish while Katara and Aang mess around with  _ magic water, _ it really feels like a vacation. 

Another night, just a few days before the anniversary celebration, the five of them, along with Ty Lee and Mai, go out on the town. Although it doesn’t necessarily feel  _ casual -  _ the restaurant closes shop to all other patrons despite Zuko’s protests because  _ the Fire Lord deserves only the best _ \- it  _ does _ feel nice to have a night out with close friends like  _ normal  _ people. 

After dinner, it’s Toph’s idea to sneak out the back door when Zuko’s guards aren’t watching. And it’s Mai’s idea to take cover in some seedy bar on the outskirts of town. Sokka barely stifles his laughter when he watches the range of emotions pass over Zuko’s face as they descend down the stairs into the dimly lit establishment - from disgust at the damp, dank smell of the stairwell, to surprise that  _ Mai _ of all people knew how to find it, to… well,  _ excitement, _ when he notices that not a single head turns when the Fire Lord himself steps foot inside. Katara  _ hates _ it, naturally, sticking very close to Aang, even as the group settles down in a large corner booth, and Toph can’t seem to wipe the smile from her face. 

“I didn’t even know this place existed,” Zuko breathes, eyes roaming over the quaint little tavern. Despite its rough looking exterior, the inside of the bar is  _ gorgeous. _ Much like the rest of the Fire Nation capital, the interior is filled with rich, deep red hues and similar to the palace, the trim and baseboards are coated in gold-flaked paint. The architecture is elegant and classy - modern, yet classic. 

_ Sokka _ is surprised to find that, despite the fact that they’re deep in the heart of the Fire Nation, he recognizes quite a few Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom liquors behind the bar. In fact, the more he looks around, he notices hints of each of the four nations throughout the tavern - be it the thick fur pelts and spears hanging from the wall (clearly Water Tribe) stunning Earth Kingdom artwork lining the barback or even the masterfully carved ceiling, which resembles the architecture of the Western Air Temple. 

Aang seems to notice the hodge-podge of artifacts and architectural nods to the other nations coating the walls at the same time that he does, because before Sokka even has a chance to say anything, he’s excitedly asking Mai a  _ million  _ questions about the establishment. And as they talk, Sokka chances a glance at Zuko, who still looks completely awestruck at the place.

“Cool, isn’t it?” Sokka asks, nudging Zuko gently with his elbow. 

Zuko turns to look at Sokka, and  _ no, _ Sokka’s stomach certainly doesn’t do somersaults at the way that Zuko  _ looks  _ under the dim light of the bar -  _ you know, _ broody and dangerous and ruggedly handsome, and -

_ Shit. _ Sokka shakes the thought from his head before Zuko can (inevitably) hear it. They obviously  _ can’t _ have that conversation here, not when they’re sandwiched between his sister and Zuko’s  _ ex-girlfriend,  _ of all people.

Thankfully, Zuko either  _ doesn’t _ hear his thoughts or just chooses to ignore them when he hums and says, “I’ve been back for five years, yet somehow I had no idea that a place so…  _ inclusive _ existed in the Fire Nation.”

Then, quieter, Sokka hears Zuko’s thoughts, like a whisper in his mind. 

**_“How is it that I still feel like I know so little about my own nation? Like a stranger in my own home…”_ **

Sokka knows that the thoughts aren’t  _ directed _ at him, that he’s likely just overhearing Zuko, and it feels incredibly invasive.

It also makes Sokka feel  _ sad, _ because even after five years, Zuko still feels like he doesn’t belong here. And  _ nope, _ that’s not allowed. No moping for the Fire Lord tonight.

Sokka decides against replying directly to Zuko’s thoughts - he’s sure that the Fire Lord wouldn’t appreciate him eavesdropping on him, even if it  _ was _ unintentional - and instead, takes it upon himself to brighten the mood. Before Zuko can start moping about how  _ terrible _ of a leader he thinks he is, they need to liven things up a bit. 

“You sound like you could use a drink,” Sokka proclaims, shaking Zuko from his thoughts, “First round is on me - I think I saw some Water Tribe bottles behind the bar and I  _ swear -” _

_ “Sokka,”  _ Katara begins to argue almost immediately as he stands to head towards the bar, “We probably shouldn’t - I mean, Toph and Aang aren’t even  _ old enough  _ to drink here and -”

“Hey -” Sokka places a hand on his sister’s shoulder, offering her an easygoing smile, “How often are we  _ all  _ together? Hm? Besides, I’m sure  _ nobody _ would want to turn down serving the  _ Avatar _ … am I right?”

Katara glances at Aang, who simply shrugs in response -  _ teenagers are great -  _ and she groans in frustration. “Fine. Whatever.”

Thankfully, Katara loosens up after a couple of drinks. They  _ all _ do, even Zuko, and a few hours later, that’s how the small group finds themselves slowly making their way down the dark city streets back to the palace. 

It’s comical, really, that they ended up here, like this. Never in a million years did Sokka ever imagine that he’d find himself stumbling down the street in the Fire Nation capital, buzzed off of a concoction of fancy drinks from around the world, accompanied by two girls who once tried to kill him, the world’s greatest earthbender, the  _ Avatar, _ his goody-two-shoes little sister and the fucking  _ Fire Lord  _ of all people. 

_ The Fire Lord, _ who currently has an arm wrapped tightly around his waist. The Fire Lord, who Sokka casually threw an arm around about ten minutes ago, but hasn’t quite let go of. The Fire Lord, who finally started to relax at about three drinks in, and  _ man, _ they need to do this more often. 

You know, his  _ soulmate, _ the Fire Lord. 

Yeah, he never really pictured himself here. 

“Y’know, I didn’t either,” Zuko mumbles at his side, shaking Sokka from his thoughts. 

He glances down at the firebender -  _ down,  _ because he’s just a  _ little _ bit taller than Zuko now, and ain’t that a power trip? - and offers him a confused smile. “What?”

“Picture myself here...” Zuko clarifies with a shrug, “I didn’t, either.”

It takes Sokka a moment to understand what he’s saying, and when he  _ does, _ he feels like an idiot.  _ Yeah,  _ of course Zuko overheard his thoughts.  _ That’s _ not embarrassing at all. For a second, he wonders what it’s like for the other man - if he can hear him all the time, or only in sudden bursts or weird increments like Sokka can - but doesn’t ask him about  _ that _ right now.

Instead, Sokka schools his surprise and huffs out a laugh. “Yeah? You never thought you’d find yourself  _ wasted _ , stumbling down the street with some Water Tribe savage on your arm?”

He doesn’t mean for the words to come out as self-pitying as they do and he bites his cheek the second that they leave his lips. The  _ whole point _ of getting drunk was to cheer Zuko up, yet here  _ he _ is, feeling sorry for himself because he can’t quite get ahold of his emotions and  _ Zuko still has his arm around his waist.  _

Zuko catches on immediately and fixes Sokka with a hard look, and Sokka could not be happier that the rest of the group is just a few paces ahead of them, just out of earshot from their quiet conversation. 

“First off, I’m not  _ wasted,” _ Zuko all but grumbles. It’s endearing, really, but  _ yeah, _ he’s right. He probably isn’t wasted. Feeling good, probably has a good buzz going, but not incoherent or belligerent by any means. “Second, you are  _ not _ some fucking...  _ savage _ \- and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were one, I didn’t - I mean, back then, I was -”

_ “Zuko,”  _ Sokka cuts him off before he can say anything else. He stops dead in his tracks, detaching himself from Zuko and successfully pulling him to a stop with both hands on his shoulders. He’s sure the others will probably notice their absence in a moment, so they don’t have long to hash out the rest of this conversation, but suddenly Sokka needs Zuko to understand that he’s serious, here. He knows that the other man harbors a lot of guilt - guilt for his nation, for his family, for his own past actions - and he needs him to know that it’s  _ not _ his fault. 

“I know,” he says at last, squeezing his shoulders gently, “I know that I’m not…  _ what I said. _ And I know that you didn’t mean it. You don’t have to keep apologizing for shit that you had no control over, okay? I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you. None of us would.”

Zuko regards Sokka for a long moment, his lips parted, as if he’s unsure of what to say. And  _ fuck, _ Sokka wishes that he could hear his thoughts right now, as gold eyes gaze into his own, but the alcohol is already fogging his mind, he’s sure that it doesn’t make  _ that _ much easier, either… But it would really be helpful, especially when Zuko takes a step forward, reaching his hand out so that his fingers just barely brush Sokka’s jaw. 

Time seems to stand still for just a moment, even as Sokka’s own hand leaves Zuko’s shoulder to encircle his wrist, holding him in place. Even as Zuko’s heavy eyes dart quickly down to his lips, then back up. 

**_“Sokka, I -”_ **

_ “Hey!”  _ Toph’s voice carries down the street, ringing over  _ whatever _ Zuko had been about to say (think), effectively shattering the moment and bringing them both crashing back down to earth. “Are you two dunderheads going to just stand there making googly eyes at each other all night, or are you coming with us?”

Suddenly, Sokka feels very  _ acutely _ aware of his surroundings, quickly dropping Zuko’s hand just as fast as it falls from his face. He’s grateful for the dim light in the street and quietly finds himself hoping, as he and Zuko make their way back to their group, that nobody (other than Toph, who he’s certain was doing her  _ creepy _ seeing with her feet thing) saw whatever was or wasn’t about to happen between them. The last thing they need is Katara or Ty Lee pestering them about it on the walk back to the palace. 

Mercifully, the rest of their trek remains quiet, save for a few words between Aang and Katara, apparently oblivious to the tension between their friends, and Toph, Mai and Ty Lee, who frankly couldn’t seem to care less. 

When they arrive back at the palace, Zuko quickly bids his friends good night, barely sparing a glance in Sokka’s direction, and  _ then, _ Sokka is alone with his sister, Aang and Toph as they make their way back to their respective rooms. 

And  _ fuck.  _ That could have gone better. 

Toph, thankfully doesn’t bring the subject Zuko up as they walk together, although Sokka is  _ certain _ that it’ll come up again the next time that they’re alone together. As they walk down the palace hall, the only sound aside from their own footsteps is the hushed,  _ cringe-inducing _ , cutesy whispering between Aang and Katara. Sokka was grossed out by it when he was fifteen and he’s grossed out by it  _ now, _ so he tries to pay them no mind, but it’s  _ hard,  _ when his sister keeps giggling like an infatuated little schoolgirl. 

“What?” Aang asks at last, turning to offer Katara a dopey little smile - and  _ yeah, _ he definitely had a little bit to drink. Sokka’s sure he’ll get an earful about  _ that _ in the morning. “I didn’t say anything.”

Katara just bumps Aang playfully with her hip and remarks, “You didn’t have to.”

And -  _ oh. _

Sokka always  _ assumed,  _ but… does that mean… was he reading into it too much? Is Aang her sister’s soulmate? How long has she known and not said anything? 

And  _ fuck, _ why did it have to come so easy for her? It must be nice - your first and only boyfriend, being your soulmate. Never having any moral qualms about who you’re supposed to end up with. 

Sokka’s not  _ jealous,  _ but…

Well, okay, he’s a little jealous. If only it had been that easy for him.

For him and Zuko.

* * *

That night, long after they arrive back at the palace, despite the drowsiness from the alcohol and a long night, Sokka finds himself tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall into a comfortable, dreamless sleep. Every time he closes his eyes, he just thinks of  _ Zuko. _

_Zuko,_ and the way he looked back at the tavern. Not… not the troubled look he had when they first walked in, but the way he looked as the night progressed, loosened up and actually _having fun,_ like a normal twenty-one year-old should do. He thinks of the flattering way the dim lighting in the bar accented the sharp edges of Zuko’s face, how his eyes almost seemed to _glow_ in the firelight. And he thinks of _Zuko,_ and the way that his arm comfortably snaked around his waist, as if it _belonged there._ _Zuko,_ and the way that he gently reached up, fingers just barely dancing across Sokka’s jaw, his cheek, just before -

Sokka shakes himself out of it, and he’s ashamed to catch himself reverently touching the place on his face that  _ Zuko _ had touched, as if he could still feel the ghost of his fingertips there. 

_ Fuck. _

He needs to clear his head. 

With a deep sigh, Sokka hauls himself out of bed, throws on some shoes and, without another thought or even bothering to pull his hair back up into a wolftail, he leaves his bedroom. He needs to get out, needs to find a space to think. Or  _ not _ to think. Somewhere other than the darkness of the bedroom to stew in his own thoughts. 

It’s late when Sokka steps out of the palace and into the cold night - long past midnight, if the moon’s place in the sky says anything - and he doesn’t expect to find anyone else sitting out in the palace courtyard. So he’s surprised when he steps outside and lays eyes on Aang, sitting only a few feet away, back to him, gazing out into the night. 

“Aang?” Sokka blurts before he can think about it, immediately slapping a hand over his mouth. The Avatar could have been meditating for all he knew, and here he is, just disturbing the peace. Go figure. 

Thankfully, Aang just glances over his shoulder, a smile spreading across his face, looking completely unbothered. “Hey Sokka!” he calls quietly, “I didn’t think you’d still be up.”

Sokka lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and takes a few steps forward to join Aang where he sits. “Couldn’t sleep,” he offers, “What about you?”

Aang just shrugs, his gaze returning to the clear night sky ahead of them. “It was a nice night,” he says wistfully, “I didn’t want it to end quite yet.”

The kid might nearly be an adult now, but in  _ many _ ways, he still reminds Sokka of the bubbly twelve year old they found in an iceberg over five years ago. Sometimes, Sokka has to remind himself that this  _ kid  _ managed to end a hundred year war, that he wields more power than any of them combined and holds wisdom beyond his years. 

In fact…

“Aang, can I ask you something?” Sokka asks before he can talk himself out of it. 

Aang shoots a smile his way, “Sure!”

“It’s kind of personal…” Sokka warns before he just spits it out. 

And it’s only  _ then _ that Aang seems to realize that this is a  _ serious _ conversation. That Sokka didn’t just come out here to admire a nice night, like him. He fixes Sokka with a serious gaze - at least, the most serious gaze that a half-drunk seventeen year old can offer - and asks, “What’s on your mind?” 

Honestly, Sokka’s not entirely sure why he feels the need to ask the question or what he thinks he’s going to get out of this conversation, but suddenly, he needs to know. “Are you and Katara soulmates?”

Aang’s eyes go wide at the question - he _ obviously _ wasn’t prepared for that - and Sokka backtracks a little bit in an attempt to explain himself. “I mean, I remember that you said that the Avatar can’t technically  _ have _ a soulmate, because of all of the spirit stuff or whatever… But I mean - can Katara - are you  _ hers?” _

Sokka feels like an idiot. If he completely misread the situation earlier (and every single other gross, couple-y interaction that he has ever witnessed between his sister and Aang) then this is just going to end with  _ two _ kind-of drunk, lovestruck idiots feeling sorry for themselves. But thankfully, after just a moment, Aang finally smiles and in a soft voice, he admits, “Yeah, I am. She can hear my thoughts, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Relief rushes over Sokka like a tidal wave. Honestly, he probably would have flung himself from the top of the palace if Aang said that he  _ wasn’t _ Katara’s soulmate, because there’s no way that the spirits could possibly fuck up  _ that bad _ . “Good,” he breathes, “That’s… good. I’m glad, I mean.”

Aang’s gaze stays trained on Sokka, even as he babbles to himself until  _ finally, _ the airbender says, “Something tells me you’re not asking me this because you’re concerned about your sister’s love life.”

“No, I -” Sokka starts, then stops. He doesn’t really know what he’s even getting at, here, what he wants to accomplish by talking to Aang about this. He supposes, he just wants to talk to someone else in a strange  _ soulmate  _ situation so he can try to make sense of his own. Maybe, he just wants someone to tell him that this whole thing with Zuko isn’t a stupid idea. That maybe, the spirits are onto something, to stop overthinking everything and just take the leap.

He doesn’t flat out tell Aang why he’s suddenly so curious about their relationship and instead asks, “Do you know if she’s always been able to hear your thoughts?”

Thankfully, Aang doesn’t call him out on it, at least not yet. “From what she has told me, no,” he answers, “It was gradual, over time.”

_ Okay. _ That’s  _ good, _ right? That means that Sokka’s whole situation isn’t all that weird, right? If Katara couldn’t even  _ hear _ Aang’s thoughts at first, despite how disgustingly in love they’ve always been, then maybe that explains why Sokka’s ability to hear Zuko’s thoughts has been so on and off, among other things.

“What’s this about, Sokka?” Aang asks at last, concern seeping into his voice, “Are you okay?”

Sokka opens then closes his mouth, unsure of what to say. When he first told Toph about Zuko, it felt like a secret, something to be ashamed of, something he really didn’t want. But things change.  _ Feelings _ change. Even when he and Zuko first faced it head-on - that first conversation they had about it in Ba Sing Se - Sokka didn’t feel disgusted that Zuko was his soulmate by any means. He was just… confused. Unsure, scared of the future. He felt the same way when they kissed, too. Was the attraction there? Absolutely. But was Zuko the person that he wanted to  _ end up with? _ He didn’t know back then. 

But that night that he and Suki called it quits, as they sat at the end of the dock and talked, Sokka didn’t feel  _ ashamed _ to call Zuko his soulmate. Disappointed in himself keeping the facade up for so long? Sure. But he wasn’t ashamed when Suki asked about Zuko. He didn’t feel embarrassed or dirty. It wasn’t some big secret. It just…  _ was.  _ In fact, he might have felt just a flicker of hope at the prospect of it. Like  _ maybe,  _ things were working out how they were supposed to. Maybe, Suki could find someone who could give her everything she needs and deserves, and Sokka could finally figure his life out. 

So, yeah, to answer Aang’s question, Sokka is  _ okay, _ it’s just…

“I just don’t know what I’m doing,” he mutters. 

Aang doesn’t immediately say anything in response, waiting for Sokka to elaborate, so eventually, he  _ does.  _

“I’ve known who my soulmate is for a  _ long _ time,” he admits, ignoring the way that Aang’s eyes go wide at the confession. He continues, “At first, I didn’t want them. I felt like the spirits were mocking me - how could I want someone like  _ them _ when - after everything - after they -”

He stops himself and decides not to entertain that thought any further. He considers just coming out with it and telling Aang that it’s Zuko, but he  _ knows _ the kid. He knows that Aang would just feel  _ excited _ for him, elated that it’s someone they all know and love. And that’s great, but if he tells Aang that it’s Zuko right now, he’s not sure if he’ll be able to get his point across. 

“Anway,” he sighs, running his hand through his messy hair, “Over time, things changed. What I  _ want _ changed, and it has just been up and down ever since then. They wanted me, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and I was with  _ Suki _ and  _ I really loved her _ so… I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going with this, I guess. But I’m pretty sure I messed things up with them, a while back, and I don’t know how to make it right.”

He’s sure that his incoherent rambling makes absolutely no sense to Aang, but at least he’s a good listener. He doesn’t interrupt Sokka or ask him to clarify or even ask who his soulmate  _ is. _ Instead, Aang waits to make sure he’s done speaking before saying anything, and when he does, it’s just a simple question. 

“Do you love them?”

Sokka’s head shoots up, his eyebrows raising in surprise.  _ “What?” _

“Your soulmate,” Aang clarifies, “Do you love them?”

And…  _ shit. _ This is the first time someone has asked him that question. It’s the first time  _ Sokka _ has asked  _ himself _ that question. Aang says it like it’s so simple, but it’s not.  _ It can’t be, right? _ If it were that simple, then they wouldn’t have been dancing around each other for the better part of five years. 

But if he’s being honest...

“I don’t know,” he mutters at last. “Maybe. Probably.”

It’s so much more complicated than that. They’ve been through  _ so much _ already. What if Zuko doesn’t want him anymore? What if he’s sick of waiting? 

Aang doesn’t know the specifics, though. He doesn’t know what makes this whole situation so complicated. So with a shrug, he poses another simple question. 

“So then why don’t you just tell them, and see what happens?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I know that a lot happened in this chapter (and please feel free to yell at me about it below) but I also have a quick question for y’all...
> 
> The next chapter is looking like it’s going to be really long at 8k words. Would you prefer one SUPER long chapter or two shorts, 4k chapters? It would be a pretty easy one to break in half, but it also definitely works well as a long one, too. Thoughts?
> 
> EDIT: YALL ARE GETTING A LONG CHAPTER


	10. the water's rising now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter won! Strap in y’all! We’re going on a wild Zuko POV ride!

_ The water's rising now  
and we will surely drown  
if we don't turn around _

\- [Lost Continent](https://open.spotify.com/track/77SWFiJpDofSPYN32YAZNu?si=J4qIer0pT-K-WFsBgiIjVA) \- Thrice

* * *

It isn’t often that Zuko  _ doesn’t _ rise with the sun, but when he finally wakes up, it’s to the late morning sunlight shining in through his open bedroom window, a dry throat and a  _ splitting _ headache. With a groan he rolls to his side, squeezing his eyes shut as if he can will the sun to go back down. 

_ Spirits, _ how much did he drink last night?

He recalls leaving dinner with his friends, following Mai as she led them into what appeared to be some seedy underground bar but actually ended up being one of the most inclusive, beautiful establishments that the Fire Nation had to offer. He remembers the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom artwork and artifacts lining the walls, Air Nomad-inspired architecture carved into every nook and cranny, and, with a cringe, he remembers the bottles of alcohol that Sokka had procured from the bar - labels and names that Zuko didn’t recognize but it all burned the same. 

He remembers leaving at a late hour, Sokka casually throwing an arm around his shoulders, wrapping an arm around Sokka’s waist and pretending it was because the contact helped his unsturdy footing and -

_ Fuck. _

His eyes fly open.

He may have had a bit too much to drink, but that doesn’t mean that he has forgotten the way that Sokka looked in the pale moonlight, eyes shining cerulean blue, a stark contrast to the warm tones that Zuko has grown accustomed to back home in the Fire Nation. He hasn’t forgotten the way that Sokka’s hands felt, heavy on his shoulders, the way his heart nearly beat out of his chest when he reached out against is better judgement, fingers dancing across Sokka’s jaw, his cheek -

And then…  _ nothing. _

Zuko groans again, only this time, it’s in embarrassment. He pulls his pillow over his head and wills the sunshine to go away. It feels like it’s mocking him, reminding him that  _ it’s another beautiful day, _ while all he can think of is how he likely made an ass out of himself last night _.  _ Sokka is still  _ here,  _ and he probably remembers too, and  _ spirits… _ He’s twenty-one now. They should be over this by now, and they’re not. It’s embarrassing.

It’s stupid.  _ He feels stupid.  _ He feels the same way he did two years ago, when he kissed Sokka by the fire in Hira’a, only to come crashing back down to earth when  _ nothing happened  _ between them _.  _ He should respect Sokka’s wishes to wait, to have some time to think and figure out what he wants, and Zuko nearly messed that up last night by trying to kiss him again. 

He resolves to promptly apologize the next time he sees Sokka, but to his surprise, he doesn’t get the chance to speak to him alone for another two excruciatingly long days. 

When Zuko eventually pulls himself up and out of bed and gets presentable enough to wander down the hallway and into the east wing for his (late) morning tea, he is disappointed to find that Sokka isn’t waiting for him outside the ornate double doors. And when he pushes them open, the room almost reflects his disappointment. The view is still stunning, but there’s something magical about the eastern dining room at sunrise, when the light hits the gold and red walls just right. By the time Zuko arrives, that magic is long gone and it just looks like every other room in the palace. 

It’s foolish, but he can’t help but feel a bit dejected. What did he expect, though? For Sokka to be sitting outside the doors, waiting to confess his love after a night of drinking? For all he knows, Sokka is eagerly awaiting Suki’s arrival and wants absolutely nothing to do with him. 

Zuko shakes  _ that _ thought from his head as fast as it arrives, though. The celebration is only a couple of days away and chances are, Sokka is just helping Aang and his friends get ready, making himself busy. Or hell, maybe  _ he’s  _ just hungover and still sleeping, too. 

So as he drinks his morning tea and goes over his plans for the day in his head, Zuko convinces himself that it’s not a big deal. That he and Sokka are more mature than avoiding one another after a stupid, drunken  _ almost _ kiss. But as the day goes on, Zuko can practically  _ feel _ the distinct lack of the other man around him. In between meetings, Zuko finds himself wandering the palace grounds, even stopping by the rooms where his friends are staying, but he doesn’t find Sokka anywhere. Granted, it seems that  _ all of them _ are out and about, but it still fills Zuko’s chest with dread. The last thing he wants is a repeat of the events after that kiss in Hira’a. Not seeing Sokka for nearly a year after that had been… well, it had been  _ hard.  _

No, he resolves that he  _ won’t _ fuck it up, this time. If Sokka just wants to be friends, then Zuko will have to respect that. He’d rather have him in his life as a friend than not at all. 

When Zuko  _ does _ eventually see Sokka again, it isn’t until early evening, when the first of the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom ships arrive for the coming celebration. Zuko, a few of the palace guards and all of his friends meet the ships down at the docks just before sunset, and as they eagerly await the arrival of Sokka and Katara’s father, as well as Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, Zuko doesn’t even get the chance to speak to Sokka. 

_ Sokka, _ who practically sprints forward to wrap Suki in a tight hug when she steps off the ship. Sokka, who nearly reverts back to an excited sixteen-year-old when he greets his father, immediately launching into one of his many stories about his travels with Aang and Katara in the Earth Kingdom. The excitement in Sokka’s voice brings a smile to Zuko’s face - his enthusiasm is one of Zuko’s favorite things about him - but it’s a bittersweet thing. It’s with a sense of dread that Zuko knows that they  _ won’t _ be talking about things, now. Now with his father and  _ especially _ Suki here. 

_ Then, _ another unexpected, yet familiar form steps off of one of the Earth Kingdom ships, and suddenly,  _ Zuko _ feels like a teenager again, too. The sight shakes Zuko from his wallowing, self-pitying thoughts and has him nearly running forward excitedly without a second thought.

“Uncle!” Zuko calls in lieu of a proper greeting, closing the distance between them within just a few long strides in order to wrap Iroh in a tight hug. It’s probably not very  _ becoming _ of the Fire Lord, but he truly does not care. He wasn’t expecting to see his uncle until the day of the celebration and his presence is a comforting surprise. 

His uncle laughs against him, eagerly hugging him back and  _ spirits,  _ when did he get so short? Or did Zuko just get taller and not realize it? 

“It’s good to see you, nephew,” Iroh says, warmth and compassion seeping into his voice. It’s a voice that Zuko hasn’t heard in nearly a year, one that he has missed dearly, and for a moment, nothing else matters, not even his worries over the situation with Sokka. 

“I thought you weren’t arriving for another couple of days,” Zuko says as they finally part. 

His uncle flashes him a wry smile in return. “And miss catching up with my favorite Fire Lord?” he shoots back, “I thought I would surprise you.”

“Well, consider me surprised,” Zuko says with a chuckle, “But I’m glad you’re here, uncle. Will you join us for dinner?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Iroh returns, placing a gentle hand on Zuko’s shoulder, and for a moment, everything feels as it should.

* * *

Dinner, however, brings everything back into clear focus. 

Not long after they greet their guests at the harbor and after they have time to get settled, Zuko finds himself sitting at the head of a large table in one of the palace’s elegant dining rooms, giving a rather informal toast to friends and family as they sit down for dinner. It’s a large gathering, but it really isn’t anything  _ special -  _ just a casual gathering of friends before the  _ real  _ celebration in a few days. When Zuko finally takes a seat, he glances to his right, where his uncle sits, and receives a warm smile in response. 

“These halls were meant to host gatherings such as this one,” Iroh says, loud enough for the entire room to hear, but informal enough that it doesn’t feel like a proper toast or a speech. “I think I speak for my nephew and the Fire Nation as a whole when I say that it warms my heart to see so many friendly faces from every corner of the world here, in this palace.” 

He then turns to Zuko, and a bit quieter, adds, “I’m very proud of you, Zuko, and I am happy to call you our Fire Lord.”

Zuko blushes under his uncle’s praise. He wants nothing more than to tell him that he’s undeserving of it, or at the very least to save the grand speeches for dinner with the Ambassadors or Advisors who might not fully see things his way quite yet, but instead, he just places a hand on Iroh’s shoulder. “Thank you, uncle,” he murmurs, “That’s an incredible compliment, coming from you.”

The rest of dinner (thankfully) goes without any more emotional speeches or cheesy toasts. Instead, it becomes a long night of catching up with old friends, reminiscing on the past and discussing the future. Iroh sits on Zuko’s right while Aang and Katara sit to his left, followed by Hakoda, then Sokka. Suki, surprisingly, finds her place on the right side of the table alongside Mai and Ty Lee, and for a moment, Zuko finds himself wondering if something happened between her and Sokka. He hasn’t mentioned it in the past few weeks, but he also hasn’t really mentioned her at all and -

Zuko shakes the thought from his head. He shouldn’t be worrying about such things now. 

Still, that doesn’t stop his gaze from occasionally drifting to Sokka as they eat and enjoy a glass of wine after their meal. It’s hard  _ not _ to look, actually - not when Sokka looks so  _ good _ under the dim lighting of the dining room. Sure, in some ways, he’s still the same mouthy, witty teenager that Zuko first tried to kill over five years ago, but a lot has changed past then, too. Long gone is the lanky awkward teenager that Zuko found himself drawn to without truly knowing why all of those years ago, and in his place is a strong, confident young man.  _ Physically, _ he has filled out quite a bit, and stubble dots his chin, complimenting his hair, which has even grown out a bit. He has grown up, and unsurprisingly, Zuko still wants him. 

Zuko, on the other hand, still feels like the same angry, unsure sixteen year old that foolishly dedicated three years of his life to chasing down the Avatar. Rationally, he knows that he’s  _ not _ that person anymore - his uncle would be the first to tell him so - but that doesn’t stop him from feeling that way from time to time. Five years in, and sometimes he still feels like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. And how could someone like  _ Sokka _ want to be with someone like him?

At that thought, as if on cue, Sokka glances up at him from his spot across the table, catching his gaze for just a second before Zuko averts his eyes. 

Deep down, he wonders if Sokka heard  _ that _ thought, too.

* * *

He still doesn’t get the chance to talk to Sokka, either. After dinner Sokka and Katara are among the first to leave. In fact, they’re so busy chatting excitedly with their father as they stand to retire to their rooms that they nearly forget to say goodbye, only calling out,  _ “Thank you, Zuko! See you in the morning,” _ after Hakoda graciously thanks him for dinner. He’s not angry and doesn’t feel disrespected - he gets it, they’re excited to see their father - but he wishes that he would have had  _ some _ time to talk with Sokka before the day came to an end. Before it was too late.

He doesn’t have the time to wallow in self-pity or excuse himself to his chambers, though, because just moments after his friends all depart, his uncle places a gentle hand on his arm and asks, “Would you care for some tea, nephew?”

And he finds himself thinking that  _ yeah, _ some tea and a long chat with Iroh might do him some good. “I would love some,” he says with a smile, “Thank you, uncle.”

By this point in his life, Zuko knows better than to insist that his chefs are more than capable of making a good cup of tea, and doesn’t argue when Iroh disappears to fetch it himself. To be honest, he prefers his uncle’s tea, anyway. It always fills him with a strange sense of comfort. It makes him feel more at home than  _ being at home _ ever will. 

_ Sprits, _ he missed his uncle. 

Less than ten minutes later, Zuko finds himself sitting next to Iroh once more, sipping on a cup of jasmine tea and letting out a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He feels the tension slowly seep out of his shoulders and relaxes into his seat, closing his eyes. 

Only his uncle’s voice is able to shake him out of his near-meditative state. “You’ve brought peace to your people and have spent the past five years repairing our relationships with the other nations, yet I still sense great turmoil within you, nephew.”

It’s ironic that he says this now, when Zuko feels more relaxed than he has all day, but his uncle is right and he knows it. In his short time as Fire Lord, Zuko has had to make many difficult decisions, not just for himself, but for the fate of his people. It’s a heavy burden to put on anyone, let alone a teenager or even someone in their early twenties, but over the past five years, Zuko has grown accustomed to it. He has to deal with the pressure of being the Fire Lord on a daily basis. At this point, it’s as easy as breathing. 

Things with Sokka, though, are a different story. Zuko has never been the best at maintaining relationships, especially those of an intimate nature. His relationship with Mai, while he still treasures her and everything she has ever done for him, was unhealthy at best and volatile at its worst. They made great friends, but not a good couple. So,  _ whatever _ he has with Sokka, it feels like walking a tightrope - one wrong move and he’s done for. It’s ridiculous, really. Having a soulmate - being able to literally hear their thoughts - is supposed to make things  _ easier, _ but this has been difficult from the start. 

So at his uncle’s words, Zuko can’t help the way he snorts out a humorless laugh and mutters, “Yeah, well, what else is new?”

_ “Ah,” _ Iroh hums, seemingly understanding despite the fact that Zuko hasn’t even  _ said _ anything other than a bratty comment that his teenage self would have made. “This is turmoil of the heart, then…”

Zuko takes a deep breath, but doesn’t say anything. No use in confirming or denying his uncle when he’ll find him out, anyway. He didn’t anticipate having this conversation, but there’s no point in fighting it now. Zuko isn’t the same petulant child he was five years ago. He won’t get up and storm away, even if he really doesn’t want to talk about his  _ romantic _ troubles with his uncle. 

When Iroh eventually takes his silence as a cue to steer the conversation, he clears his throat and leans back in his chair just a bit, stroking his beard. “You know, Zuko... Much like the Avatar brings balance to the world, the spirits choose a soulmate to bring balance to our lives,” he says after a long moment to carefully choose his words, “Water and fire - a powerful bender and a skilled non-bender - balance each other very well, if I may say so myself.”

Zuko’s eyes go wide at his uncle’s words. Sure, he figured that he was going to try to give him some well-intentioned relationship advice or spiritual guidance, but he didn’t expect…  _ that. _ He didn’t expect his uncle to  _ know, _ so he doesn’t think to mask his surprise.

Iroh simply smiles at him in response. 

_ Well, fuck. _

Since denying it is pointless, Zuko just groans, throwing his hands up in the air.  _ “What,  _ does _ everyone _ know? Is it  _ that _ obvious?”

“I may be a wise old man, but I am also a great listener,” Iroh says with a chuckle at Zuko’s expense, “I may have overheard your conversation with your friend outside of my tea shop, a few years ago.”

Zuko deflates a little. Right. Almost five years ago, when he and Sokka sat outside, watching the sunrise, just  _ talking.  _ Of course Iroh overheard them. 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Zuko asks. It probably doesn’t matter and he has many more important questions that he could ask his uncle who is known to be in-touch with the spirit world, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind, and he can’t stop himself from blurting it out. 

His uncle chuckles again -  _ spirits,  _ he doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously - before answering. “You were still a child back then,” he says, “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I assumed that you wouldn’t appreciate your uncle meddling in your love life.”

Zuko huffs out a soft laugh. “You’re not wrong there.”

It likely wouldn’t have made a difference, anyway. He  _ would _ have been upset if he knew that his uncle was eavesdropping on them that day and he certainly wouldn’t have readily accepted his _ relationship _ advice back then, but now…

Now, he wouldn’t mind some of that wisdom. 

Seemingly reading his mind, Iroh speaks up again after a beat of silence. His tone is hesitant, because he knows that he should tread carefully around this subject. “However, if you were to seek my advice now, I would be happy to give it, nephew. Or if you need to talk, I can simply listen. I have been told that I’m a great listener.”

Zuko lets out a deep sigh. Honestly, he  _ does _ want to talk about it. He’s been trying to find a way to talk to Sokka about it all day, even though he’s not quite sure what he’d say or where they stand. It feels  _ odd, _ seeking advice from someone else for something so deeply  _ personal, _ but Zuko is at his wits end, and he trusts his uncle’s advice. In fact, he trusts him more than anyone else.

So after a moment to center himself, he  _ talks.  _

“I couldn’t hear his thoughts until after I left here,” Zuko says. Of all things, he tells his uncle about  _ this. _ “It wasn’t until I finally realized that I didn’t need my father to restore my honor, until I realized that it was my destiny to help Aang, that I also learned that Sokka was my soulmate.”

He’s not sure why he says it. He has never admitted it out loud - has never said the words,  _ Sokka is my soulmate _ \- but it feels like the right thing to tell Iroh, now. It’s something he has never really understood, and deep down, he hopes his uncle  _ will. _

Iroh hums thoughtfully, leaning back in his seat once more. “That makes a lot of sense.”

Zuko’s eyes go wide.  _ “It does?” _

“Of course,” his uncle answers with a smile, “It wasn’t until you finally followed your heart that your true destiny became clear.”

“Like my firebending,” Zuko breathes, suddenly understanding, “I used to draw it from rage and anger, and once I switched sides, it was like… it was just  _ gone. _ I had to find a new source.”

His uncle nods. “Precisely. Similarly, you couldn’t hear your soulmate’s thoughts until you opened your heart to the possibilities.” 

It makes perfect sense, really, but to Zuko’s surprise, it doesn't make him feel better about the situation. In fact, it just feels like too little too late. “Well, that’s great to know and all, but it’s not like it matters anyway,” he mutters, his voice taking on a frustrated tone, “If you  _ overheard _ our conversation back then, then you’re aware that there’s nothing - I mean, we’re not -”

Zuko groans in frustration, unable to get the words out. It’s embarrassing really, that five years later, he’s still pining over his fucking  _ soulmate. _ Weren’t those things just supposed to  _ work out? _ Wasn’t it just supposed to be love at first sight? Why is it so hard? Why is _ everything _ always so hard for him?

“The spirits have a funny way of revealing things to us…” His uncle muses, and Zuko can’t help but snort out a humorless laugh in response. 

_ “That’s _ an understatement.” 

_ “But,” _ Iroh continues, shooting him a look that makes him feel like a teenager again, rather than a twenty-one year old Fire Lord. “It doesn’t make them  _ wrong. _ The spirits wanted you to know that Sokka was your soulmate. You know what the destination is, now you just need to find your way there.”

Zuko groans in frustration.  _ “That’s _ the hard part, uncle. I’ve  _ tried  _ \- it’s just, we -  _ he _ didn’t -”

“Have you tried  _ talking to him?” _

His uncle’s question is so simple, so  _ easy, _ yet Zuko has a hard time answering it. Suddenly, he reverts back to that awkward sixteen year old who just heard Sokka’s thoughts for the first time. Suddenly, he’s sitting outside of the Jasmine Dragon, telling Sokka that it’s okay that they remain friends, then it’s two years later and he’s pressing a kiss to his lips by the fire and hoping, stupidly, that they can be something more. 

Suddenly, it’s twelve days ago, and Zuko is sitting across from Sokka at sunrise, sharing a cup of tea and trying to find the right words to tell him how much he missed him, but they don’t quite come out. 

_ “Yes!” _ Zuko answers defensively, then, “I mean, a little. Once. _ Maybe.”  _

Iroh offers him an empathetic smile in response. “I won’t tell you what to do, nephew, because I  _ know _ that you always do the right thing, in your own way. You’ve grown into one of the Fire Nation’s strongest leaders in just five short years, but more importantly, you’ve also grown into a bright, charismatic, compassionate young man. Just remember to follow your heart - it will never lead you astray.”

His advice is… cryptic, as usual, but Zuko has come to expect that. And now, at twenty-one years old, he thinks he finally understands what his uncle means when he tells him to follow his heart. Five years ago, that path would have been clouded and confusing, overgrown and hard to follow, but now…  _ now, _ it seems easy. 

So with a smile, Zuko rises, walking with ease around the table to meet Iroh for a hug. “Thank you for always giving me great advice, uncle,” he murmurs as they embrace, “I’m sorry that I haven’t always taken it.”

* * *

Zuko has it all planned out.

The next morning he rises early, just before the sun begins to peek out from over the horizon, and makes his way to the dining room on the east wing. He wants to be there early, long before Sokka arrives, so he can plan everything out in his head  _ in peace. _

His uncle had been right, of course. He always was. His question was simple and at the time, it seemed stupidly obvious, but the fact of the matter is, Zuko  _ hasn’t _ talked to Sokka. They haven’t talked about their bond, their relationship, the  _ kiss _ in over two years, and Zuko can’t keep dancing around the subject, acting like it never happened, acting like the spirits didn’t choose them for one another. If Sokka doesn’t want him,  _ fine _ , but they need to  _ talk about it. _

So, as Zuko makes his tea that morning, as the sun begins to rise, casting a warm glow about the room, he plans the speech out in his head, trying to imagine every way the conversation could go. It’s terrifying, but he knows that he just needs to get it out. Lay it all on the line and see where they stand. He doesn't want to dance around it anymore. He  _ can’t. _

But the sun rises, and nobody joins Zuko for tea. His tea cools, then goes cold, and Sokka doesn’t show. 

Zuko doesn’t know if he should feel more surprised or dejected when Sokka doesn’t appear in the doorway like clockwork, like he did for nearly two weeks in a row. He didn’t read too much into it the day prior - they’d all been drinking, it made sense for Sokka to sleep in, he couldn’t blame him - but today? Was Sokka too busy with his friends - with  _ Suki _ \- to be bothered for tea with him? Zuko shakes the thought from his head as fast as it appears. No, maybe he was just helping Aang and the others prepare for tomorrow’s celebration,  _ as Zuko should be doing. _

Or maybe, he finally had enough. 

Zuko doesn’t have much time to entertain  _ that _ particular thought, though, because just as it crosses his mind, he glances out the window and, lo and behold, spies a familiar figure walking with purpose across the palace grounds. 

Sokka is easy to spot in his traditional Water Tribe blues. He sticks out like a sore thumb among the crimson halls of the palace and even alongside the vibrant colors of the gardens. After all,  _ blue _ isn’t a very common color in the Fire Nation. 

Zuko watches with a renewed sense of curiosity as Sokka makes his way across the grounds, heading with determination toward an area that Zuko knows well.

Many firebenders prefer to practice indoors, but since returning home (since becoming Fire Lord) Zuko has taken to training outside in the palace’s courtyard. It wasn’t necessarily built to be a firebending arena, nor is it really big enough for sparring with another bender, but it quickly became one of Zuko’s favorite places to practice his forms or to meditate. The courtyard is out of sight from much of the palace - hidden, private and tranquil.

Sokka tagged along with him after tea a few times, when he went to practice his forms, and as Zuko watches the other man walk quickly through the palace grounds before ducking out of sight, he knows that that’s where he’s heading. It only takes him a moment to decide to follow him. 

The walk isn’t far from Zuko’s quarters - where he makes a pit stop to grab his broadswords - and from his higher vantage point as he approaches, he can clearly spy Sokka in the empty courtyard-turned training arena, practicing alone with his own weapon. Zuko approaches quietly, so as not to disturb the other man, and finds himself admiring the way that he moves, hacking at practice dummies with precision and power.

Sokka has grown immensely since they first met on that fateful day in the South Pole. Zuko can still remember their first encounter, although it seems like a lifetime ago, now. He remembers the way that Sokka had charged at him fearlessly, but with absolutely no precision or skill - just pure rage and energy. They were so different, yet so similar back then, too. While Zuko had  _ plenty _ of formal training in firebending as a child, it wasn’t until he was much older that he truly understood the art, that he couldn’t just fight with anger and rage. Sokka, on the other hand, never had the privilege of being formally trained - he was uncoordinated and clumsy, but he fought for the right reasons. 

In the place of a fumbling, scared, untrained teenage boy now is a  _ man _ who now moves with precision, grace and skill. Sokka’s movements are seasoned and practiced now, and as he moves around the courtyard, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’s being watched, it seems to come as easy as breathing. 

Sure, Sokka was a strong warrior back then, but he was still a  _ kid. _ They were  _ all _ just kids. So much has changed since then, but Zuko realizes, as he watches Sokka, that there are still a few things that  _ haven’t. _

Zuko always admired Sokka, even back then. He admired his heart and determination. Sokka never hesitated to go up against skilled warriors and benders, some twice or three times his age, even as a non-bender. He admired Sokka’s level head in battle, even as a teenager, and the fire with which he fought. He’d make a great bender, truly, but Sokka never needed bending to hold his own. 

Zuko has always admired Sokka. It just took him a while to realize that some of that admiration was fueled by attraction, but it’s clear as day now, as Zuko watches him move effortlessly across the courtyard. 

Belatedly, Zuko wonders if Sokka can hear his thoughts, probably broadcasting loudly how attracted to him he is, and before they can run away any further, he decides to let his presence be known.    
  
Stepping down into the courtyard, Zuko clears his throat and asks, “Mind if I join you?”

Apparently, Sokka  _ couldn’t _ hear his thoughts, or just wasn’t paying attention, because when he turns to face Zuko, it’s with an unguarded look of surprise. Maybe he was too concentrated on his training? Maybe they were too far apart? Zuko decides not to think too much into it while he waits for a response. 

Mercifully, Sokka offers him a smirk and asks, “Been too long since you got your ass kicked,  _ Fire Lord?” _

Okay, so Sokka  _ isn’t _ mad at him. That’s good, at least. 

“I’m not one to brag, but not many of my guards can really hold their own against me in hand to hand combat,” Zuko retorts with a smile, taking a few steps closer. “A challenge would be nice.”

Sokka snorts in response. “Maybe they’re just going easy on you. Wouldn’t wanna get banished for beating the Fire Lord, after all.”

The witty banter is a welcome distraction from what Zuko had  _ initially _ planned on talking to Sokka about. Maybe it can help to loosen some tension, make this easier. “Well, you’re not a Fire Nation citizen - you don’t have to worry about  _ banishment,” _ Zuko shoots back, pulling his blades from their scabbard.

His next words go unspoken.

**_“So don’t go easy on me.”_ **

Sokka grins, and it’s this terrifyingly handsome thing. He responds to Zuko’s thought when he shoots back, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

And  _ spirits, _ Zuko is fucked. 

Sokka makes the first move, charging forward with his blade ready to strike, but Zuko easily sees the attack coming and parrys it without breaking a sweat. And just like that, it’s on. 

So much has changed since the last time they did something like this, and as they dance around the courtyard, Zuko is thankful that none of his guards followed him out, and he can’t help but think back to one of the last times they sparred. It was back on Ember Island, just before the comet, before everything changed. He remembers the way that Sokka had celebrated excitedly after throwing him to the ground, but also how quick he was to let his anxiety and worry for the future show. He remembers how Sokka slowly started opening up to him that night, letting him into his life. 

If Zuko really thinks about it, he’s sure that he started falling for Sokka then, as the sun set over Ember Island, painting his dark skin a rich copper, something that complimented his Fire Nation ensemble quite well. Zuko remembers thinking that he could get used to Sokka looking like that. 

He’s distracted, his mind floating back to a time before the end of the war, a time that in some ways was easier, and Sokka takes full advantage of it. Zuko doesn’t see the leg kick coming and has to drop one of his swords to brace himself as he topples to the ground, defeated quickly by the other man. 

“Maybe, they’re going easy on you because they feel bad about how rusty you’ve gotten,” Sokka comments, a teasing smile lighting up his face as he points his sword at Zuko’s chin. 

It’s all that Zuko can do to retort with, “You’ve been practicing.”

Sokka huffs out a laugh, withdrawing his sword to offer Zuko a hand instead. “Yeah, well… The war might be over, but you know as well as I do that things haven’t been exactly  _ peaceful _ … even in Cranefish Town. Doesn’t hurt to stay sharp.”

Zuko takes Sokka’s hand, hoisting himself back onto his feet. He brushes dust off of his clothes. “How has it been there, anyway?” he asks as he recovers from their short match, attempting to make some small talk. Maybe, that’ll make the rest of this conversation easy. Or maybe it’s just Zuko avoiding it all together. “I feel like every time I leave the capital, I’m surprised to see just how much has changed.”

“It’s honestly less of a  _ town _ and more of a city at this point,” Sokka says with a smile. “Remind me to tell you about my ideas for a new name, by the way.”

Zuko groans, but he can’t stop the smile from slipping onto his face. “I can only imagine…” he mutters. 

_ “Hey!”  _ Sokka exclaims, “My names are always great, and you know it!”

Zuko wants to argue with something about  _ Combustion Man _ or any of Sokka’s  _ other _ ridiculous names, but the other man continues speaking before he has a chance to tease him. 

“But it has been good,” Sokka continues,  _ “Messy, _ but good. Ever since I became an advisor for the council -”

Zuko’s eyes widen at Sokka’s words and he quickly cuts him off,  _ “You’re an advisor now?” _

The grin that spreads across Sokka’s face in response is one of pride. “Sure am.”

Zuko can’t help but wonder how long he’s been keeping  _ that _ little nugget of information from him. He’s surprised that it hasn’t come up yet - Sokka is always so ready to brag about his accomplishments or go on long-winded stories. Has  _ that much _ really changed between them? Have things become that strained, or is Zuko reading too much into it?

“Sokka, that’s great!” he exclaims, refusing to let any doubt or worry creep into his voice, though. He truly is proud of Sokka, even if they haven’t talked about this yet. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Sokka just shrugs in response. If he can hear Zuko’s doubts and worries, he doesn’t comment on them. Instead he just says, “I don’t know. I guess it didn’t come up.”

“Well it has _ now,” _ Zuko insists, which earns another grin from Sokka. 

“I guess it’s not  _ all _ that exciting,” Sokka responds, scratching at the back of his neck, and  _ man, _ have the last five years made him more humble? Or is he just downplaying it? 

“Ever since I became an advisor, it has been more talking, boring meetings and paperwork than actual  _ action and adventure,” _ he continues, “I kind of miss it, actually. That, and I feel like I’ve been getting rusty lately, so that’s why I thought I’d come out here to practice… It feels good to get back in the swing of things and -”

Before Sokka can finish his thought and before Zuko can really even think it through, he moves quickly, shooting a small fireball at Sokka’s feet, effectively taking him by surprise and cutting him off. The warrior yelps - and it’s  _ definitely _ an undignified sound, especially for someone who just beat the  _ Fire Lord _ in hand to hand combat - and leaps into the air, eyes wide. 

_ “What the hell, Zuko?!” _ Sokka all but yells, his voice echoing through the empty courtyard. The glare that he shoots at him cuts like daggers. “Are you trying to light me on fire?”

It takes everything in Zuko’s willpower not to burst out laughing at Sokka’s response to the unexpected attack, but he manages to keep his face cool and composed when he retorts with a smirk, “You said you were getting rusty. I just wanted to keep you on your toes.”

Quickly, Sokka’s glare transforms into a dangerous smile, one that Zuko is familiar with, and it only takes a moment before he’s drawing his sword once more, muttering,  _ “Oh, _ it’s  _ on.” _

Sokka comes at him hard and fast, without warning or allowing Zuko the time to prepare. He ducks and rolls, fetching his other broadsword from the ground as he does so, only recovering with just enough time to block Sokka’s strong blow. It wasn’t apparent before, but now it is obvious that he was holding back during their first match, and Zuko wants to make a comment about  _ Sokka being rusty, _ because if this is him _ out of practice _ , he’d hate to see what he’s like at top-form, now.

But Zuko has been practicing, too, and this time, he doesn’t allow himself to get distracted by Sokka’s dangerous, mischievous grin or the graceful way in which he moves. Instead, Zuko puts all of his energy into fighting back.

And  _ this...  _ this is what he missed. Sokka challenges him, keeps him on his toes, both physically as they spar like this, and mentally.  _ Emotionally. _ And  _ this, _ among many other reasons is why he feels drawn to the other man. Why he has  _ always _ felt drawn to him. 

Zuko isn’t sure how long their fight lasts, but by the time that he finally manages to disarm Sokka, sending his sword flying and clattering across the courtyard, they’re both panting with exertion, both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Zuko  _ nearly _ steps down once Sokka is left defenseless, but as soon as he shifts his weight from his offensive position, he regrets it. 

It appears that Sokka has more than one trick up his sleeve, and he’s quick to pull a long dagger from his belt, going on the attack once more and forcing Zuko to defend himself. 

_ “Resourceful,”  _ Zuko comments breathlessly, even as he parrys Sokka’s attack away. 

And Sokka just huffs out a laugh in response, even as he slices at him with the dagger. “You wanna see  _ resourceful?” _

Before Zuko can ask what he means or even begin to formulate an answer to his question, Sokka’s quickly pulling his boomerang from its place on his back and flinging it into the air with an easy flick of his wrist. 

Zuko has long since learned not to underestimate Sokka’s beloved weapon and immediately goes on the offensive, determined to move out of its range because the _last_ thing he wants is the splitting headache that comes along with getting hit in the back of the head with it. Sokka seems to expect him, though, ducking and evading his attacks, pulling him away from the center of the courtyard. He backs up further and further, into one of the far corners of the arena, and it isn’t until then, when Zuko thinks, **_“You just cornered yourself,”_** that he realizes that he just walked right into Sokka’s trap.

The other man offers him a proud smirk, and that’s all the warning that Zuko gets before he hears the soft whirr of air and instinctively puts his arm up to protect his head. 

As it turns out, though, Sokka wasn’t aiming for his head. The boomerang hits the hilt of his sword with a loud  _ clang, _ effectively knocking it out of his hand, and when Zuko looks up at Sokka with wide, surprised eyes, Sokka takes that split second to attack, lunging forward with all of his weight. He doesn’t stab forward or upward with his smaller blade - they’re not  _ actually _ trying to hurt or maim each other, after all - but the weight of his attack catches Zuko by surprise. He only has a moment to put his arm and remaining sword up in defense, but Sokka still manages to throw him off balance, sending him stumbling backwards until they’re both toppling down to the ground. At the very last second, Zuko has the mind to cast his free hand back, propelling a burst of flame behind himself to slow their descent before they roughly crash onto the ground, a waft of warm air rising around them. 

Zuko doesn’t have much time to recover, but he doesn’t give up, either. Just seconds after they fall, Zuko uses his body weight and remaining momentum to flip them over, pinning Sokka to the ground, bracketing his hips between his knees. With his remaining sword, he presses the blade just barely to Sokka’s neck and gasps out -

_ “I win.” _

The unexpected battle leaves them both panting with exertion, out of breath and disheveled. Zuko looks down at Sokka through bits of damp hair that have fallen out of his topknot and into his face, gold eyes bearing into blue, and for a moment, everything around them grinds to a stop. Despite the fact that they’re both still thrumming with adrenaline, still coming down from the high of the fight, everything suddenly seems very clear and serene. Time slows down and comes to a halt as Zuko looks down at Sokka and he finds himself thinking -

**_“This is it. You have to do something. It’s now or never.”_ **

Zuko can’t help the way that his eyes dart to Sokka’s lips, then back up. He can’t help but think, as he pins the warrior to the ground, of the first time they kissed back in Hira’a, of their almost-kiss the other night… He thinks of the past few years apart and how he regrets every single time he didn’t just spill it all to Sokka and finally admit his feelings because he’s  _ tired _ of dancing around this like they have been. He thinks about how they still have so much to talk about, how Sokka can probably hear his every thought, emotions running high, and he probably shouldn't be thinking about kissing him before they properly  _ talk _ about things but  _ he can’t help it. _

_ Then, _ he hears it. It’s like a secret whispered in his ear. A familiar voice, cutting all of his thoughts short.

It’s short, sweet and to the point.

**_“Do it.”_ **

Zuko  _ hears _ Sokka’s thought, clear as day, but he struggles for a moment to understand exactly what it means. What  _ Sokka  _ means. 

He opens his mouth to ask him to repeat himself, to ask him to clarify, but Sokka’s thoughts cut him off once more. 

**_“Do it. Stop overthinking and just kiss me already.”_ **

Zuko swears that in that moment, his heart actually stops. 

And that’s all it takes, really. Something inside of Zuko just  _ breaks. _ His sword, the one that had still been pressed gently to Sokka’s throat, falls to the ground with a sharp, metallic noise just as Zuko surges forward to press their lips together. 

_ This _ kiss is nothing like the hesitant, tentative first kiss that they shared years ago on Hira’a, after an emotional heart-to-heart and too much wine, but it’s no less emotionally charged. And this time, Sokka doesn’t pull away.  _ This time, _ when Zuko leans down, catching his lips in a fierce kiss, Sokka meets him eagerly. The dagger that he’d been holding falls to the ground alongside Zuko’s sword and in return, Sokka reaches up, anchoring his hands around the back of Zuko’s neck, holding him in place. And for a moment, that touch, that contact, is all that matters. Zuko’s mind goes blank and all he can think of is  _ Sokka. _

And  _ this… _ this is how it’s supposed to feel.

Zuko revels in the feeling of Sokka’s lips against his own, in the feeling of Sokka’s body beneath his own, his fingers inching into his hair. He loses himself in the kiss so much that at first, he doesn’t notice when Sokka shifts - not until he’s rocking his body and quickly, without warning, flipping their position. Then suddenly,  _ Sokka _ is pulling away, hovering over Zuko, and any semblance of control that Zuko had over this situation goes right out the window when his friend’s blue eyes bear right into his down. 

They’re still breathless when Sokka reverses their position, shifting so that his arms comfortably rest on either side of Zuko’s head, a lopsided grin falling on his face. They’re still breathless, and Zuko can’t quite tell if it’s because of the fight or the kiss. Maybe both. 

It isn’t until Sokka is on top of him - and  _ wow, _ that’s something that Zuko has never even  _ allowed _ himself to imagine, but he definitely doesn’t mind it - that Zuko’s brain finally seems to restart. While Sokka stares down at him, a million words left hanging unsaid in the air between them, Zuko finally registers what just happened. What’s _ happening. _

And naturally, the first thing he does is  _ worry. _

After all, they  _ were _ kissing, and now they’re not. So naturally, he can’t help but think about that fateful night in Hira’a - a night that he hates to admit changed things between them. He can’t help but worry that the moment will break at any second, that Sokka will apologize and tell him that it was a mistake, that  _ Suki _ of all people will find them in a compromising position like this, and Zuko will be right back where he was this morning - confused and alone. 

But thankfully, before he can start overthinking the situation  _ too much, _ Sokka’s thoughts cut through his head, effectively silencing him. 

**_“No,”_ ** he sounds steady and sure, staring right into Zuko’s soul as he thinks it,  **_“Not making that mistake again.”_ **

And then, before Zuko can open his mouth and ask him what he means, before he can ruin this moment with self-doubt and  _ talking about things, _ Sokka is dipping down, closing the distance between them again for another kiss. 

This one is a bit softer than the first, a little more tender and careful. This time, Zuko’s the one to reach up after just a moment, one hand gently caressing Sokka’s cheek while the other anchors him in place by the back of his neck.

_ This time, _ Sokka parts his lips, deepening the kiss and licking gently into his mouth, and Zuko can’t help but sigh out in response, all of the tension bleeding out of his body. He doesn’t know what he expected when he followed Sokka out to the courtyard, but he certainly didn’t anticipate finding himself like  _ this, _ pinned beneath the warrior - his best friend, his  _ soulmate _ \- kissing the life out of him. 

Unfortunately, the moment doesn’t last as long as he’d like. Just as Zuko’s fingernails begin to scrape gently up the shorter, clipped hairs at the back of Sokka’s neck, a voice snaps them out of it, bringing them both back down to earth. 

_ “Sokka?!” _ Katara’s voice rings out through the courtyard, still far away but close enough to catch their attention, “Sokka - are you okay? We saw fire and -”

_ “I’m fine!” _ Sokka calls loudly as he pulls away from Zuko, eyes wide with surprise, but thankfully, not regret. At least, Zuko hopes. 

He offers Zuko an apologetic, knowing look before he begins to stand, brushing himself off. Judging by the sound of Katara’s voice, she’s not far away, and Zuko tells himself that it’s probably best if she  _ doesn’t _ find them in a compromising position, especially not before they’ve discussed things. 

**_“She’d probably freeze you in a block of ice,”_ ** Sokka thinks pointedly, which earns a snort from Zuko.

_ Okay, _ jokes are good. That’s good, right?

Sokka offers his hand and Zuko takes it just as Katara, Aang and Toph step into view. 

“Hey guys!” Sokka calls, warmth seeping into his voice, “Sorry to scare you. The  _ Fire Lord _ wanted to spar, so I had to prove that I could still kick his ass!”

Zuko rolls his eyes in response, but he goes along with the story. Thankfully, it’s not too far from the truth. “You got lucky,” he insists. 

“He sure did if you were shooting  _ fire blasts at him,” _ Katara retorts pointedly, seemingly oblivious to what had been happening just moments before she appeared. 

“It was kind of like old times!” Sokka says, nudging at Zuko with his elbow, “I almost forgot what it was like when Zuko was trying to kill all of us.”

“I wasn’t trying to  _ kill you,” _ Zuko grumbles in return. 

“Kill, kidnap -”

**_“Kiss…”_ **

“ - it’s all the same thing,” Sokka teases back, throwing a casual arm over Zuko’s shoulders as if they hadn’t just been making out in the very spot where they now stand mere minutes ago. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you have a rematch, if you like.”

Zuko opens his mouth to get the last word in, but Katara promptly cuts him off. 

“Well, that rematch is going to have to wait,” she insists, “We have a lot of work to do before the celebration tomorrow, and Iroh sent us to look for you guys. Come on.”

Sokka lets go of Zuko as they gather their weapons, strewn about in the courtyard, but easily throws his arm around his shoulders once more as they make their way back to the palace. It’s a comfortable, familiar motion, one that doesn’t even earn the attention of their companions, but  _ now, _ it has Zuko’s heart racing in his chest. He can’t help but wonder if Sokka _ knows  _ what he does to him, if he knows what he’s doing right now. But if Sokka answers that question, Zuko misses it when Toph mutters a soft, teasing,  _ “Nice”  _ from where she walks behind them.

And even though she can’t  _ see _ them, Zuko’s face goes scarlet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m the worst for leaving it hanging like this. Please forgive me, at least they kissed!
> 
> Real talk, though, this was one of my favorite chapters to write and I really hope you guys enjoyed it! I know a lot happened and I hope it didn’t feel like too much, but in the end, it made more sense to keep this as one long chapter instead of dragging things out by breaking it up! 
> 
> (Also, yeah Sokka is a moron and has neglected to mention his breakup with Suki to Zuko. Don't worry, it'll be addressed eventually haha.)


	11. fall with me into the air

_Well you know I hardly speak  
When I do, it's just for you  
I haven't said a word in weeks  
Cause they've been keepin' me from you _

_There's a way where there's a will  
You know I got no need for stairs  
Step out on the window sill  
Fall with me into the air _

\- [A Song For Milly Michaelson](https://open.spotify.com/track/5IVpwzxMsad8rMVnkiEoku?si=3nND02psRLyO5WQNRpOgYw) \- Thrice

* * *

Zuko doesn’t get the chance to properly talk to Sokka before the celebration the next day, which means that for well over twenty-four hours, he has to stew in his own thoughts and worries and feelings regarding their moment together in the courtyard. You know, the moment where Sokka tackled him to the ground and then kissed the life out of him. When Sokka explicitly _asked_ Zuko to kiss him, with no chance of Zuko misunderstanding what he meant or what he wanted. 

So why can’t Zuko stop stressing out about it?

Maybe it’s because something finally _happened,_ and they still haven’t talked about it. Maybe, it’s because Zuko is an emotionally stunted adult who hasn’t kissed anyone else since the time that he and Sokka kissed in Hira’a, and until Sokka came along, hasn’t actually _felt_ something for someone else since Mai, if he’s being honest. Maybe it’s because he’s constantly terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing because he never _had_ any friends his own age and he’s still attempting to navigate what it means to have feelings for someone, especially someone as important as Sokka. Maybe it’s because he’s worried that this is all going to boil down to the same thing as last time, and Sokka is going to give him some shit about how he needs _time_ and he still loves Suki and Zuko doesn’t know if he can take that again. And if it’s going to happen, it might as well happen fast, so he can work on getting over it, burying his emotions and moving on. 

Maybe, it’s because he hasn’t even had the chance to hear Sokka’s thoughts since that moment in the courtyard because they’ve both just been so busy, and he’d _kill_ to hear that snarky, witty voice in his head again right about now. 

But he doesn’t have the time to dwell on that. Following their… _sparring_ session in the courtyard, Zuko and Sokka spend the rest of the day preparing for the next day’s celebration and end up retiring for the night early. They have a big day ahead of them, after all. 

The celebration lasts all day, too. Although Zuko had _insisted_ that the last thing he wanted was to come off as self-important or take away from anyone else on the fifth anniversary of the end of the war, the entire day winds up being a massive _party_ from start to finish. The day begins early with a spectacular parade down the main street of the capital, complete with fire dancers, musical performances and beautifully constructed floats, followed by a lively, all-day festival in the center of the city, with food and drink from each of the four nations (Sokka’s idea, _naturally_ ). The festival is honestly Zuko’s favorite part, mostly because it’s easy for him to blend into the crowd when he wishes and really _enjoy_ himself. The blending of vibrant colors - blues and greens and reds and even some yellow - in the capital is a sight that Zuko never thought he’d see, and it fills him with great pride to see just how far they’ve come in five short years. 

Following the festival, just as the sun begins to set over the city, is when the _real_ party begins, though. Although a bit more intimate, the celebratory dinner at the palace is still an extravagant affair, complete with even _more_ food and drink (Zuko is glad that he chose to pace himself at the festival), live music, dancing and of course, _speeches._

Okay, the speech part isn’t that great. Zuko still doesn’t quite know what to say in front of large groups of people, but he’s getting better. He keeps his words shot, sweet and to the point, but still full of the blunt honesty and the sliver of emotion that his friends, family, colleagues and even his citizens have gotten to know over the years. He thanks Aang, of course, as well as their fierce, fearless group of friends (and the rest of the world) who gave him _and_ the Fire Nation a second chance, before toasting to another ten, twenty, and hopefully one-hundred years of peace in the future. The speech is (thankfully) well received, and is certainly not the first nor the last of the night. Even Sokka and Katara’s father speaks, alongside the chieftain of the Northern Water Tribe as well as leaders and delegates from the Earth Kingdom. 

At dinner, Zuko’s uncle, his mother, Kiyi and Ikem sit to his right while Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph and the rest of their rag-tag group of friends sit to his left. The hall is filled with citizens of every nation, and it’s a jovial event after all of the speeches are through. It feels… _right._ Zuko feels whole, and for a moment, he stops _worrying_ about the future, whether it’s the future of his nation and his people or the future of the world, or even the future of this _thing_ between him and Sokka that the spirits chose for them before they even fully understood what it meant. 

By the time it’s all said and done and the party starts to liven up a bit once more, there are only a few splashes of color left in the sky - dark reds and purples that give way to navy blue and inky black as stars begin to dot the night sky. The dance floor opens, the music swells, and for a moment, everything feels _perfect._

It’s a _good_ night.

But throughout the night, Zuko can’t keep his eyes off of Sokka. Despite the fact that they _still_ haven’t had the time to talk (or even _think_ at each other, which is a funny concept), Zuko can’t help but search out Sokka’s form in the crowd. He watches as Sokka grabs Toph, just as the dancing starts, and begins swaying her chaotically to the music. Later, he watches as Sokka embraces some of the older members of his tribe - men he grew up idolizing, Zuko knows, who now look at Sokka, all grown up and mature, as one of their own. 

It’s incredible how much has changed in just the course of a few short years. They’ve all grown up so much, but sometimes, especially now, as Zuko finds himself pining after the warrior, he still feels like a kid. 

Over the course of the evening and _many_ long conversations with ambassadors and politicians and important citizens of the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation and Water Tribes, Zuko loses track of Sokka. He’s sure that he’s out there somewhere, making the best of the night, but as he scans the crowd during a rare break in conversation, he can’t help but feel disappointed that he can’t find him. Of all the hundreds of important people in attendance, Zuko only has eyes for one. 

It’s Aang who eventually whisks Zuko away from the stuffy politicians and drags him out onto the dance floor, insisting that, _“The Fire Lord deserves to have some fun, too!”_ Zuko can’t quite find the rhythm like Aang, or even Toph can - and for a brief moment, he actually wishes that he would have attended more _music nights_ when he was out at sea with his uncle as an angsty teenager - but he manages to have some fun, even if it’s at the expense of his own dignity. 

Following Aang, Toph forces her way into Zuko’s arms, throwing him around the dance floor like a rag doll in a way that leaves him dizzy and breathless before Mai eventually cuts in, murmuring over the music that she’s _proud_ of everything Zuko has accomplished, _“So stop looking so damn worried all the time. You’re doing great.”_ Even Ty Lee gets a chance to swing him gracefully around the dance floor before the night is through.

And even as Zuko loosens up and _dances a bit_ \- a couple of glasses of wine help out with that - he still can’t help but search for Sokka in the crowd. Occasionally, he’ll spy a tall, tan man in the corner of the room and get his hopes up, but they’re quickly squashed when it’s just a warrior from the Northern Tribe, or even one of Sokka’s peers from the South. 

Even though he can’t find Sokka, Zuko _does_ manage to lock eyes with another member of the Southern Water Tribe from across the room later in the night, and he can’t help but smile as she approaches him. 

If six years ago, someone would have told Zuko that not only would he be _friends_ with a waterbender, but also the _girlfriend of the Avatar_ , he would have laughed in their face. But over time, he and Katara have also grown incredibly close in their own way. While Sokka understands Zuko in ways that nobody else can, Katara gets him as well. She understands his anger. His pain. His capacity for love and forgiveness. In some ways, they’re mirror images of each other. He’s grateful to call her a friend, so he can’t help but smile when she eventually approaches him on the dance floor, just as a slower song kicks in.

“Care to dance, _Fire Lord?”_ Katara asks, a smirk playing on her face. 

Zuko in return holds out his hand and replies, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Only a few moments into their dance, just as they both get the feel for it (and naturally, Katara is _much_ more graceful than he is) she finally speaks, just loud enough for Zuko to hear over the music. “Who would have thought we’d end up here?”

Her question reflects Zuko’s own thoughts and he can’t help the easy smile that falls across his face in response. “Certainly not an angry, sixteen year-old Zuko,” he retorts. 

“I _hated_ you back then,” Katara says with a laugh, now, as if she were foolish for ever thinking less of him. Zuko knows that he deserved it, all those years ago. He has made peace with that. “I never would have been able to imagine myself like this - with you here, now.”

Years ago, those words might have been hurtful, but Zuko takes them in stride. He just groans and grumbles, _“Don’t remind me._ I made some stupid choices back then.”

“Well, you thought you were making them for the right reasons,” Katara counters softly, “And besides, you made up for it. I think that counts for something.”

It’s only then that Zuko pulls back a little, just far enough to look Katara in the eye when he speaks. “Thank you, Katara,” he murmurs, “That means a lot, coming from you. I’m incredibly grateful to call you a friend.” She opens her mouth to speak, a smirk playing on her lips and he cuts her off before she gets the chance to get her jab in. “And _not_ just because you saved my life. I mean it.”

A softer smile falls across her face in place of the smirk, at that. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself.”

Zuko chuckles as they move closer once more, swaying easily to the music. “I’ll take it.” 

A comfortable silence falls over them at that, and as they dance, Zuko’s mind wanders once more to Sokka. _Sokka,_ who tried to _fight him_ the very first time that they met, who Zuko had just dismissed as some kid from the Water Tribe playing dress up before he realized that he was truly a strong adversary, then later, an even better friend and ally. As he dances with Katara, Zuko can’t help but wonder if Sokka has been reflecting on their past together tonight, as well. He can’t help but wonder if Sokka finds it hard to believe that they ended up like _this._

As if _she_ could read his mind, Katara suddenly speaks up again, cutting Zuko’s thoughts short. 

“Have you seen my brother around?” 

It’s an innocent enough question, but it nearly causes Zuko to stop dead in his tracks. Does she -

“No,” Zuko feigns indifference, unsure of just how much Sokka has told her about their… _relationship._ Considering the way he’d reacted to Katara almost catching them making out the day prior, he assumes that she doesn't know much. “Not since dinner.”

Katara just hums thoughtfully. Then, as casually as possible, she comments, “I’m surprised he hasn’t swept you off your feet on this dance floor, yet... All things considered.”

And _that_ makes Zuko freeze, even if just for a second. If anyone around them notices, they don’t say anything. 

“Agni, does _everyone_ know?” he asks with a groan, which only earns a giggle from Katara.

“Well, I wasn’t one-hundred percent certain, but _now_ I am,” she teases. Despite Zuko’s suddenly rigid posture, she pulls him along, forcing him to continue to dance with her, as if she didn’t just call him out on… you know, _being her brother’s soulmate._ “Aang had some suspicions, after we all went out the other night. And apparently _Toph_ has known for _ages -_ go figure.”

Zuko groans again, actually letting his head fall to Katara’s shoulder for a moment. He can feel his face heating with embarrassment. 

Katara, however, holds herself together just fine. She continues to speak to Zuko in easy tones, as if they’re discussing the weather or his vacation plans for the summer. “For what it’s worth, I’m really glad it’s you,” she says softly, “For a long time, I thought it might have been Yue… I thought that he was going to spend his entire life wondering what could have been, and although he loved her, he didn’t deserve that.”

 _No,_ Zuko finds himself thinking, _Sokka deserves the world and the sun and all of the stars in the sky. Not just the moon._

He can’t help but cringe, even though he knows that Katara can’t see his face and mutters, “Well, instead he had to just spend the past five years wondering how he got saddled with a _firebender,_ of all people. _”_

 _“Zuko,”_ Katara cuts in, her voice taking on a serious tone, “I know we didn’t start off on the right foot, but _so much_ has changed over the past five years. We’ve _all_ changed.”

They _have._ Zuko’s been thinking about that _all night._ From Aang, who grew from a bubbly young kid who wasn’t ready to save the world to a patient, wise and decisive young man who Zuko is happy to call a friend, to Katara, who used to harbor so much fear and anger and guilt and now, is one of the kindest, most forgiving people that Zuko knows... they’ve _all_ changed so much. Zuko knows that he has grown considerably since he was just a teenager. No longer is he the angry sixteen year old who was hell bent on proving himself to a sadistic, abusive father who never deserved his love. He’s still coming to terms with the mistakes he made in his past, and he knows that forgiving _himself_ will be a long process, but he knows that he has changed, too.

So has Sokka. 

Zuko sighs. “Yeah, I just don’t -”

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say. Maybe that he doesn’t think that he’s deserving of Sokka. Maybe that he doesn’t want to force Sokka into something just because the spirits say they have to. Maybe that, even after yesterday, he’s still not sure if Sokka _wants him,_ but whatever it is, Katara cuts him off before he can finish his thought. 

“You’re an idiot if you don’t see the way that my brother looks at you.”

Her words cut straight to Zuko’s core. They almost have him stopping again in the middle of the dance floor - and _spirits, how long is this song?_

“Really?” he asks, his voice just barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah,” Katara says with a chuckle, “Maybe _that’s_ why it’s so obvious to everyone else. He’s not very subtle.”

 _“Great,”_ Zuko mutters, “I’m glad that I’m just oblivious to it.”

Katara lets out another breathy laugh, then, after just a moment asks, “So what are you going to do about it?” Her voice is challenging, as if she’s _daring_ Zuko not to go after her brother. _Go ahead, see what happens. Break his heart, and you’ll have another thing coming._

Zuko sucks in a sharp breath. “We haven’t - I mean, we talked about it, once, but we didn’t - he’s with -”

It sounds stupid, trying to explain his reasoning now, especially after Katara lays it out so simply for him. If she’s to be believed, then it’s obvious that Sokka feels the same. So who is he trying to convince, here? 

“So, things have been weird for a while. Who cares?” Katara mutters, “You should talk to him. I think you’ll be surprised.” 

Zuko swallows his aborted argument and instead just breathes out a soft, “Okay.”

Actually _finding_ Sokka and having that long-awaited talk with him is easier said than done, though. It’s something that Zuko has been _needing_ to do for a while, now, something that he just mustered the courage to do _yesterday_ and it’s eating him up inside, but just when he wants to pull Sokka aside and spill his guts to him, he can’t seem to find him _anywhere._ He sees Sokka in every tall, muscular Water Tribesman, in every bright blue, fur-trimmed tunic, but he can’t find the real deal anywhere. 

So, after a couple of drinks, following his life-changing dance with Katara and after mindlessly wandering around the dance floor and banquet hall for what feels like an eternity, Zuko excuses himself to step outside for a few quiet moments to gather his thoughts. Mercifully, his uncle seems to be the only person who notices him slipping quietly outside of the party and they share a glance from across the room, Iroh silently agreeing to cover for him as he gets away from the chaos for a few quiet minutes. 

The truth is, Zuko just needs to clear his head. To get away. To stop being _Fire Lord Zuko_ for and just be _Zuko,_ even if just for a few minutes. He can’t think straight with noblemen and politicians and friends and family trying to talk to him at every turn when all he wants is to decompress.

When there’s only _one_ person he wants to talk to, and he can’t seem to find them anywhere. 

In the cover of night, Zuko slips out quietly to the palace gardens, to a small gazebo far enough away from the party where he’s sure nobody will think to look for him, but close enough that he can still see the lights and hear the music and happy voices laughing and talking and singing. Once he’s finally far enough away, Zuko finally takes a deep breath and allows himself to relax, if only just a little. 

Alone, it’s thankfully fairly easy for him to wind down, to stop thinking about _the future of the Fire Nation and the rest of the world_ for a while and to just think about _himself._ And as he stands in the gazebo, leaning against the railing, gazing out at the dark night sky, he finds himself recalling something that his uncle said to him a long time ago, long before Zuko was truly ready to hear it. But it stuck with him.

 _“It’s time for you to look inward and start asking yourself the big question: who are you and what do_ you _want?”_

His uncle has given him plenty of wise advice over the years, but that one question - that moment - is something that Zuko finds himself returning to time and time again, whether it’s because he’s questioning a decision that an advisor asks him to make in a meeting or because he’s struggling to find the right words to say to Sokka when they eventually talk. 

He’s not a confused teenager anymore, though. He knows what he wants. He just hopes that Sokka wants the same thing. 

**_“I figured I’d find you out here.”_ **

The sudden thought surprises Zuko and shakes him from his _own_ thoughts. It’s pointed and personal and _clearly_ directed at him. He hears Sokka before he actually sees him, approaching quietly from the direction of the party, and he can’t help but wonder how much of his _own_ thoughts that the other man just overheard. 

Deep down, he finds himself actually _hoping_ that he heard all of them.

“You know, you might want to take up a career as an assassin, if the whole _advisor_ thing doesn’t work out,” Zuko remarks out loud once Sokka is close enough to see in the darkness. 

He can’t quite make out Sokka’s smirk as he approaches, but he can hear it in his voice. “I’ve gotten better at sneaking around, huh?”

Zuko turns, leaning his elbows up against the railing of the gazebo to face Sokka. “Yeah, except your thoughts are still pretty loud.”

 ** _“So are yours,”_** Sokka thinks pointedly, and Zuko’s suddenly very glad that the other man likely can’t see him blushing in the dim light. Now that he’s closer, though, Zuko can make out the slight twinkle in his eyes, the easy smile on his face, the way that his formal clothing perfectly suits him. 

“What brings you out here?” Zuko asks, rather than facing Sokka’s comment head-on. He’s working up to it. 

Sokka shrugs. He takes a step forward, leaning forward on the railing just how Zuko had been a few moments ago, gazing out at the night sky. His eyes catch on the nearly-full moon, just as they _always_ do, and Zuko can’t help but admire the way that the pale light paints his face. 

“Same reason you’re here. To clear my head,” he murmurs. There’s a dreamy, far away quality to his tone of voice, but just as fast as it’s there, it’s gone. He turns to look at Zuko - _Zuko,_ who’s currently openly staring at him - and offers him a smile. “You know… I think I finally figured out what the Fire Nation is better at than starting wars...”

Zuko raises his eyebrow at Sokka. He knows that this is going to be some stupid, cheesy joke, and he waits for the punchline. “Yeah?” he humors, “What’s that?”

 _“Throwing a party!”_ Sokka all but exclaims, the grin splitting his face. Zuko just groans loudly in response, and that only makes Sokka even _more_ proud of his joke. _“I mean it, Zuko!”_ he insists, “All these years, I thought you firebenders were all stuck-up jerks who were obsessed with _honor_ and _dignity,_ but _man,_ you proved me wrong today.”

Zuko huffs out a laugh. “How so?”

“Well first off, the fire dancers were _insane,”_ Sokka comments, his posture going lazy and casual as he speaks. Any tension that was present when he first approached all but dissolves into thin air. “And then all of that food - and the _booze_ \- at the festival? I know I had a hand in that, but you guys went all out. And the _party_ tonight. I mean… _wow,_ Zuko. I didn’t realize you were such a great _dancer._

His tone is obviously teasing at the end, and Zuko groans again in response, his hand coming up to cover his face in embarrassment. “You saw that?” he asks, voice muffled through his fingers. 

_“Oh yeah,”_ Sokka retorts, “I saw _everything.”_

“Great,” Zuko mutters. Beneath his hand, he’s smiling, though. Sokka _always_ manages to make him smile, even when he’s teasing him like this. And _this…_ this is exactly what he needed when he came out here. Something - _someone_ \- to bring him back down to earth.

Once more, Sokka’s thoughts cut through his own. Like his tone of voice, they’re teasing, yet soft. 

**_“You still act like a teenager, you know. Moping around out here while everyone else is inside having fun.”_ **

Zuko huffs out a soft laugh, turning to glance at Sokka once more. “My uncle recently said something similar to me,” he admits. Granted, his uncle had been much more eloquent, less teasing. 

“Your uncle is a wise man,” Sokka comments. His gaze is trained back up at the night sky once more. 

_Spirits, he’s beautiful._

It’s with a sense of surprise that Zuko hopes he hears _that_ thought. _Fuck it,_ he thinks, _I’m tired of dancing around this._

“He also recently gave me some good advice…” Zuko muses out loud, knowing that Sokka will take the bait. “I’m just not quite sure how to follow it.”

Sokka swallows, and after a quiet moment, he asks, voice soft, “Well, what was it? I’m the _solutions guy,_ remember?”

Zuko can’t help but smile at Sokka, but rather than _telling_ him what his uncle said, he just thinks it.

**_“He told me to follow my heart.”_ **

Sokka’s sharp intake of breath is enough to tell Zuko that he heard him.

_“Oh.”_

And, well… here goes nothing. As Zuko formulates the right words, he thinks about everything that Katara said earlier, everything his uncle told him recently, and even what his mother told him ages ago. 

_“Fate might get stretched and tangled, but it always finds a way to sort itself out.”_

He hopes that she was right. 

“Look,” Zuko starts after a deep breath, “I know that it has been a long time since we… _talked_ about this. But considering everything that happened yesterday, we - I mean, we -” 

He sighs, stops talking, takes a moment to gather his thoughts, then starts again. “I understand your reservations,” he says in a calmer, more grown-up tone, “I always have. I get that having someone like _me_ as a soulmate isn’t necessarily ideal, but a lot has changed, since we first met - _I’ve_ changed a lot since then, and -”

**_“Zuko, shut up.”_ **

Sokka’s thought cuts him off before he can finish his long-winded speech and he finds himself staring at the other man, lips parted, eyes wide, waiting for him to go on. Waiting for him to tell him that he’s being an idiot, or that they shouldn’t do this, or maybe that they _should._

Sokka does _none_ of those things. Instead, he just cracks a smile. 

**_“I can still hear you, you know.”_ **

And _that_ gets Zuko to crack, just a little bit. He huffs out a laugh, then mutters softly, “Okay. _Shutting up.”_

_Finally,_ Sokka takes a deep breath, exhaling it on a deep sigh. “Just… Save the big speech for a second,” he says, voice soft. “I know that we have a lot to talk about, but I really don’t wanna fuck this up.”

_Oh._

Okay. 

Zuko doesn’t realize he’s holding his own breath until he asks, “So where do we start?” 

Sokka shrugs, turning slightly so that he’s facing Zuko a little more head-on and offers, “The beginning?”

It really isn’t the right time, but Zuko snorts out a laugh at that and teases, “Then we’re going to be here for a while...” After all, if Sokka _really_ wants to talk through five years worth of confusing emotions and pining, Zuko won’t _stop him._

Sokka cracks a smile in response, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just _looks_ at Zuko - really, openly _looks at him._ He doesn’t avert his gaze or make a joke or do something stupid to break the tension. For what feels like an eternity but is really only a matter of seconds, he just takes the sight of Zuko in while the other man shifts uncomfortably under his gaze.

Then, with a deep breath, Sokka finally speaks. “You know, it’s kind of funny, looking back. At first, I really wanted nothing to do with all of this -” he waves his hand around between them in place of the right word, but Zuko understands what he means. “I didn’t even _want_ a soulmate, let alone -”

Sokka stops himself short and doesn’t finish his thought, but the unsaid words hang in the air.

**_“Let alone someone like you.”_ **

But before Zuko can open his mouth to apologize or tell Sokka that they don’t _have_ to talk about this, he’s continuing. 

“But that was before I _knew you,”_ he insists quickly, “The _real_ you. My whole life, I grew up thinking that every firebender, every citizen of the Fire Nation, was evil, just because of what happened to my mom -”

“You were justified to think that,” Zuko interjects, “At least your bias made sense. The Fire Nation on the other hand - we just… _well,_ you know.”

“But I was still biased,” Sokka counters, “It wasn’t fair to the innocent citizens, to the good people of the Fire Nation. To _you.”_

Zuko opens his mouth to argue again, to say something along the lines of, _“It was absolutely fair to me, after everything I did,”_ but Sokka cuts him off before he can even get the words out. Zuko’s sure he heard his thoughts, though. 

_“Anyway,”_ he continues, “That was before I knew the _real_ you. Though to be fair, you’re right, you weren’t doing much to redeem yourself there for a while -”

_“Sokka.”_

Sokka flashes Zuko a grin. “Right. But then, you joined us, and things _changed._ What I _wanted_ changed,” he shifts his body just a little bit closer, as if to prove his point. “It took me a long time to figure that out, and I’m sorry that I -”

“You have _nothing_ to apologize for, Sokka,” Zuko interrupts, because _he_ has a lot to get off _his_ chest too, and hearing Sokka actually apologize for not acting sooner when he found out a _firebender_ was his soulmate might actually kill him. He doesn’t really have his words planned out before he speaks, though, so they kind of just tumble out of him. “For Agni’s sake, I - I couldn’t even _hear you_ until after I joined you guys at the Western Air Temple, so it’s not really like I was in touch with _my_ emotions, either. Give yourself some credit.”

Sokka’s eyes go wide with surprise at Zuko’s admission and, _oh yeah,_ they haven’t really talked about this before, have they? “Really?” he asks, voice a little breathless. 

Zuko glances away when he answers, as if averting his eyes will make this less embarrassing. “Yeah,” he admits, “For the longest time, I just assumed that I didn’t have a soulmate, or they died in the war or something, which would have been pretty fitting for the banished Prince of the Fire Nation -”

“That’s depressing,” Sokka comments, but Zuko just continues speaking, the words just falling out. 

“So I’m sorry, if you heard me from the beginning, that you had to hear my thoughts when I - I mean, I was - I didn’t -”

A gentle touch has Zuko stopping short, his breath catching in his throat. Sokka’s hand is on his arm, warm and sturdy and grounding, and for a moment, Zuko forgets what he was going to say. 

_“Hey,”_ Sokka murmurs, pulling him from his self-deprecating thoughts, “It’s okay. Like I said, you’ve - _we’ve both_ \- changed since then. We’re not the same kids we were before. I don’t care about that anymore.”

Zuko swallows, his throat suddenly feeling very tight and dry when he meets Sokka’s eyes, bright blue burning into his own gold. It feels like Sokka’s irises could extinguish him. Like the sea, they’re calming and clear, but Zuko has seen them at their wildest, their most dangerous, and that’s what has his breath catching in his throat. Sokka looks at him so openly, so earnestly now, and he just wants to tell him everything. He wants to close the gap between them and _kiss him_ , spill his guts and hope he feels the same.

But, in true Zuko fashion, the next words that leave his mouth aren’t a romantic declaration of love. He might be an adult now, but sometimes he’s still the same awkward teenager he was years ago when it comes to delicate moments like this. 

“What about Suki?”

Zuko wants to kick himself the second that he asks it, really. Leave it to him to bring up the girlfriend of the man that he loves just as they’re having _a moment_ out on this romantic little gazebo, alone, in the middle of the night. Why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut?

He waits for the wave of regret and remorse to wash over Sokka’s features, just as it had when they kissed for the first time in Hira’a, but surprisingly, it doesn’t. Instead, it’s just surprise that crosses Sokka’s face before he speaks, his hand never leaving its place on Zuko’s arm. 

_“Oh,”_ he breathes at last, “Right. I uh… I didn’t tell you. We - well, we broke up.”

A lesser man would feel excited at the news. A man without honor might scoop Sokka up right then and there and kiss the life out of him. But Zuko _cares_ about Sokka, and he knows how much Suki - how much their relationship - meant to him. So instead of taking the news of their breakup as permission to take what he wants, he backpedals. _“Shit,”_ Zuko breathes, “Sokka, I’m sorry. I didn’t know, I -”

“It’s okay,” Sokka cuts him off, offering a reassuring smile when he speaks. “It has been a while, actually.”

And _that_ catches Zuko off guard. It’s been a while? Have they really drifted so far apart that Sokka didn’t tell him? 

All Zuko can do is breathe a quiet, _“Oh.”_

Finally, Sokka’s touch disappears. He removes his hand from Zuko’s arm to reach up, scratching awkwardly at the back of his own neck. “Yeah…” he mutters, “Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… I don’t know, I - I guess I just had to do some soul-searching, I think. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want, lately. ”

Zuko swallows again. He can’t get the words to leave his throat, can’t form them in his mouth, but he thinks, **_“What is it that you want?”_ **

“So much has changed in the past five years,” Sokka says in lieu of an immediate answer. It’s a sentiment that Zuko has become familiar with as well. A lot _has_ changed, for the world, their families, their people. Their relationship. “I think about that conversation we had in Ba Sing Se frequently… I think you were right, back then, that things can’t go back to normal.” 

Zuko waits for Sokka to continue, knowing that he’s getting at something, here. “I always thought I’d follow in my father’s footsteps… move back home, help lead the tribe, maybe one day even become chief,” he explains, “But after everything that has happened, I don’t think that I want that anymore. Besides, I’ve kind of become accustomed to warmer climates. They’re nice. More sleeveless shirts.”

Sokka’s voice takes on a more lighthearted tone at that, and Zuko can’t help but roll his eyes fondly in response. He opens his mouth to make a witty comment in return, but Sokka continues before he can say anything. 

“I used to have this idea of what I wanted. This _vision_ for my future. Then, Katara and I found Aang, and _everything_ changed,” Sokka says in a faraway voice, “And if I’ve learned anything from Aang, or Toph, or _you,_ it’s that anyone is free to shape their own destiny. That they don’t _have_ to follow the path that family or lineage or fate or even the _spirits_ set for them -”

Zuko’s hopes come crashing down at those words. All along, he thought that Sokka was leading up to telling him that he wants to be with him, that it just took some time to figure out, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe, this is Sokka telling him that he _doesn’t_ want the life that his father _or_ the spirits chose for him. Wouldn’t that just be Zuko’s luck?

But before he can spiral too far into self-deprecating thoughts, Sokka is touching him again, this time, grabbing his hand. Zuko snaps out of it. 

_“But…”_ Sokka squeezes his hand, offering him a tentative smile. “I think they were onto something, when they did _this.”_

Zuko wants to smack himself. He wants to laugh. He wants to yell at Sokka for dragging this out and for making him think that he _didn’t_ want this.

But he does none of those things. Instead, he just looks down at their joined hands and mutters out, _“Oh.”_

Sokka’s surprised laugh rings clear through the night air, carrying throughout the gardens and dying before it can reach the walls of the palace to echo back at them. It’s a bright, relieved thing. “Man, you should have seen your face,” he teases, his voice warm, “Did you really think -”

“You’re an asshole,” Zuko bites back, but he’s unable to maintain a scowl. He can’t, not when Sokka is looking at him _like that,_ eyes bright, cheeks rosy, a lopsided smile crossing his face. 

_“Yeah,_ an asshole that _you want to kiss,”_ Sokka shoots back.

Zuko’s face scrunches up in an undignified way at Sokka’s teasing words, which only earns another laugh from the other man, who takes a step away from the gazebo railing and into Zuko’s personal space. They’re still holding hands, and the contact between them feels electric. 

“Alright, bad phrasing, sorry,” Sokka says with a grin, “But my point still stands.”

Before Zuko can talk himself out of it, he says the words out loud, as if it makes them ring more true than just a thought that Sokka can hear. 

“I do,” he murmurs, “Want to kiss you, you know.”

“I know,” Sokka breathes. His next words, however, go unsaid. 

**_“So why don’t you?”_ **

Zuko _does_. 

He’s quick to close the gap between them, his free hand reaching up to cup Sokka’s face just before pressing their lips together. The kiss is gentle and soft and for the first time, Zuko doesn’t feel afraid that Sokka might pull away at any moment, regretting this decision. He doesn’t think about _that._ In fact, he tries not to think about _anything,_ opting to revel in the feeling of Sokka’s lips against his, Sokka’s fingers intertwining with his own, instead. 

_Sokka,_ who places his free hand on Zuko’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Sokka, who tilts his head just barely, parting his lips and deepening the kiss in a way that just feels so _natural,_ like they should have been doing this all along. 

For a moment, Zuko’s mind just goes completely blank as he kisses Sokka. He doesn’t find himself overthinking this, or thinking about _anything_ for that matter, other than how gentle Sokka’s touches are and how easily they seem to fit together. 

When they eventually part, Zuko sucks in a sharp breath that he didn’t even know he needed and doesn’t dare move. He doesn’t pull back, at least not right away, and after what feels like an eternity, he hears himself speaking, his raspy voice almost foreign to his own ears. 

“So…” he says tentatively, “You want -”

 _“Yeah,”_ Sokka answers with a breathy chuckle before he can even finish. “I thought that much was obvious.” 

Zuko doesn’t know what else to say. Honestly, he didn’t expect this to go… well, how it has gone. He didn’t expect _Sokka_ to be the one to spill his guts, to put it all out there. Zuko expected to find himself struggling to find the right words to explain the way he felt about Sokka and hope that it came out eloquently enough. He hoped that Sokka felt the same way, but he didn’t actually expect it. In retrospect, he feels stupid for even thinking that, now. 

Finally, Sokka pulls back, just a little bit, just far enough to look Zuko in the eye. Even as Zuko’s hand falls back down to his side, Sokka’s hand never leaves its place on his hip.

“I’m sorry that it took me so long to figure it out,” Sokka says eventually, voice open and honest and earnest. And _spirits,_ Zuko wants to tell him that it doesn’t matter, that _none of that_ matters now. 

“You shouldn’t be apologizing,” he settles for instead. “For fuck’s sake, I couldn’t even _hear you_ when we met. I should be apologizing to _you_ for not knowing sooner.”

To his surprise, Sokka just laughs in response, and it’s this lighthearted, relieved thing. “And all this time I thought you were just in love with me from the first time I hit you with my boomerang.”

Zuko snorts out a laugh of his own at Sokka’s teasing. “You could hear my thoughts back then. You know that’s not ture.”

Sokka just shrugs in response. The hand that had been resting at his hip slides lazily and easily up Zuko’s side, across his shoulder, until fingers dance just under the back of his neck. The intimate touch feels so easy, now. Zuko has to stop himself from closing his eyes and leaning into it, just so they can finish this conversation. 

“I know,” Sokka murmurs, “But you warmed up to me, over time.”

Zuko lets out a deep breath and he can practically _feel_ the warmth in his lungs, escaping through his nose and mouth. He wonders if Sokka can feel it, too. “I did,” he admits. 

Sokka closes his eyes at that, a small smile coming to rest over his face. “It’s stupid, really,” he murmurs, “Here I am - I’m supposed to be the _smart one_ in our group, yet it took me five whole years to realize that I was actually in love with my soulmate.”

It takes Zuko a moment to register the words, to realize that Sokka actually just _said them,_ that they weren’t just a figment of his imagination, or an aborted thought that never made its way past Sokka’s lips. But when Zuko looks at Sokka with wide, surprised eyes, Sokka opens his eyes to meet his gaze steadily and confidently. 

Zuko feels the breath leave his lungs as he attempts to gasp out, “You -”

But Sokka just cuts him off with a breathy chuckle. _“Man,_ it feels really good to finally say that out loud.”

And Zuko can’t say anything in response. He can’t quite form the words, and frankly, he probably wouldn’t trust himself to speak right now. Instead, he does the only thing that he can think to do and surges forward, catching Sokka’s smiling lips in another kiss. 

He doesn’t really _have_ to say anything, though. He knows that Sokka probably hears the words loud and clear, repeating like a mantra in his own head. 

**_“I love you, too, Sokka. I love you, too.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the long-awaited talk! I hope it was worth the wait. I really liked writing this chapter and finally letting these two dorks just love each other. I also didn’t realize how badly I needed to write Zuko and Katara talking about things until it happened. 
> 
> One more chapter left! It’s mainly just going to be a little epilogue of sorts and I’m really excited to share it. 
> 
> I can't believe this is already almost over. Thank you all so much for reading so far.


	12. but I love you most of all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here we are, everyone! It’s so bittersweet to finally bring this fic to an end. I thought about spreading it out a bit more and exploring their relationship immediately following the previous chapter, but honestly, I feel like I’ve said everything I wanted to say in this fic. This whole story has centered around change and the boys’ ability to choose their own fate despite the fact that they’re destined to be together, and I felt like this was a good ending for it. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you all so much for reading.

_So, here we go, hold on tight and don't let go  
I won't ever let you fall  
I love the night, flying over these city lights  
But I love you most of all  
  
_ \- [A Song For Milly Michaelson](https://open.spotify.com/track/5IVpwzxMsad8rMVnkiEoku?si=3nND02psRLyO5WQNRpOgYw) \- Thrice

* * *

**  
TEN YEARS LATER**

Sokka has always _hated_ getting up early. He never particularly cared for cold early mornings in the South Pole, even if it meant going fishing or hunting with his dad when he was just a kid. And after everything changed - after Sokka became the man of the house when all the men went off to war - he hated cold, lonely early mornings even _more._ And whatever magic of early mornings that _was_ left was ruined once he and Katara went on the run with Aang. Months on the road with the Avatar, sleeping on lumpy, uneven ground, only to wake with the sun and spend the entire day traveling or fighting off firebenders or scrounging for food took the joy out of early mornings and pretty sunrises when Sokka was just a teenager. But after the end of the war, he finds that it’s hard to break the habit. Sometimes, if he tries hard enough, he can fall back asleep for a few more hours and get some extra shuteye, but for the most part, Sokka _still_ wakes up early, even now. 

Although _now_ , things are different. 

He doesn’t hate it so much, now. In fact, Sokka actually revels in the glow of the early morning light, filtering in easily through the open window on cool summer mornings, before the heat of midday settles in. He loves the way that the early morning sun paints the bedroom with white and gold and yellow. He even loves the sound of birds chirping outside the window, of turtleducks quacking in the ponds below, of the wind blowing gently through the trees that surround the quaint little vacation house on Ember Island. He loves the feeling of the ocean water on his toes in the morning, loves the feeling of the warm sun on his bare chest, balanced by a cool morning chill still in the air. 

And _spirits,_ what Sokka _really_ loves about early mornings these days is the sight that he wakes up to most mornings, when he occasionally rises just before his partner. It’s not often that Sokka wakes before him - he’s a naturally early riser after all - but he revels in early mornings like this, when the sun just barely peeks in through the window as Sokka opens his eyes and stretches against soft, silky bed sheets, waking up slowly on his own without disturbing the warm form next to him. And as the sun begins to rise, painting the sky outside in pinks and oranges and yellows, Sokka can’t help but appreciate the way that the morning light bathes his boyfriend’s peaceful, sleeping face in soft pastels, casting smooth shadows of eyelashes and long hair and the sharp slope of his nose across his face. 

Mostly, Sokka just _really_ likes mornings now because of Zuko. Early mornings are sacred between him and Zuko, a quiet moment that they can share together before the day really begins. Early mornings are reserved for slow kisses and wandering hands and hushed _“I love you’s”_ under the sheets, where they’re rarely interrupted by an international crisis or meetings or diplomats that _need_ to speak with the Fire Lord.

No, early mornings are _theirs._

Sokka relishes moments like this one in particular, especially because they’ll have the entire morning _and_ the whole day together. They arrived on Ember Island late yesterday afternoon and if all goes according to plan, their little vacation getaway will last another three days. Three days of lazy, early mornings and tea on the beach and sparring in the courtyard, if that’s what they want to do. _Or_ they can just spend the entire day in bed, which Sokka wouldn’t really mind at all. 

They’ll cross that bridge when they get there, he decides. For now, he’s content to admire Zuko’s peaceful, sleeping form for a few more minutes before he eventually wakes up. Right now, he’s curled up on his side, long, inky hair spilling all over his face and shoulder and pillow. The sunlight casts a warm glow and long shadows across his body, which is covered by scarlet sheets. And _spirits,_ Sokka could stare at him all day. 

It’s wild, he thinks, how they ended up where they are now. A little over fifteen years ago, Sokka laid eyes on _that_ face for the very first time, and if anyone would have told him that he’d be happily waking up next to him now, he would have laughed. He never imagined himself here, but he’d never take it back, either. 

It goes so much further than all of that spirit, soulmate mumbo-jumbo, too. Sure, the spirits chose them for each other, they were meant to be together, _whatever_ , but Sokka likes to think that, even if he couldn’t hear Zuko’s thoughts, he still would have ended up with him. Sokka’s _proud_ to call someone as compassionate and sensitive and thoughtful as Zuko his partner, his lover, his boyfriend, _his soulmate._ He and Zuko understand each other unlike anyone else, and Sokka knows that it’s partially because of their spiritual bond, but he knows that they’d still be close, even without that. From the start, Sokka easily shared parts of himself with Zuko that he never shared with anyone else, and Zuko did the same. They know and love each other inside and out. 

The physical aspects aren’t all that bad, either, Sokka finds himself thinking as he admires Zuko’s sleeping form. His lean body, his strong hands, quick tongue and gentle lips. Couple that with his long hair and liquid gold eyes, and it’s enough to make Sokka stare with open admiration, even now.

 _Spirits,_ he loves this man. 

“I can hear you, y’know.”

Zuko’s half-awake, mumbled words shake Sokka from his reverie. Zuko’s eyes are still closed, but his lips are curled up into a small, sleepy smile, and Sokka wants to _smack_ _it_ off of his face. Or kiss it. Jury’s still out. 

Oh, who’s he kidding? He obviously wants to kiss that stupid smile off of his perfect, handsome face. And then, you know, keep kissing him, probably. 

“Can still hear you,” Zuko mumbles, cutting Sokka’s thoughts short. He sounds a little more awake than he did a moment ago, so Sokka decides that teasing him is fair game. 

“The next time you sleep in, I’m just gonna think about annoying shit really hard until it makes its way into your dreams,” Sokka mutters, unable to keep the smile from his voice. 

“Don’t think it works that way,” Zuko retorts. At that, he reaches out, attempting to pull Sokka closer to him under the covers. 

“Nuh-uh, I’m not going back to sleep, we are _not_ wasting this beautiful day,” Sokka argues, even as he allows Zuko to sleepily manhandle him closer, even as Zuko presses his face into the crook of his neck.

Zuko just hums in response. “Fifteen more minutes.” 

Sokka already knows that he’s going to cave, but he keeps up the act, groaning. “What’s with you? Aren’t firebenders supposed to _rise with the sun_ , or whatever?”

“That’s just a figure of speech,” Zuko retorts. Finally, his eyes slowly blink open and Sokka can’t help the way that his breath catches in his throat. Nearly ten years into their relationship and Zuko’s looks - _his eyes_ \- still take his breath away, especially in the soft morning light. He used to be so scared of eyes like Zuko’s, the gold eyes of a firebender used to mean danger, but now, he’d gladly drown in his molten irises. 

“You’re feeling particularly _sappy_ this morning,” Zuko remarks with a lopsided smirk, and Sokka wants to headbutt him. Or dance his fingers across his ribcage until Zuko is gasping with laughter. Or kiss him until he can’t breathe. 

“Yeah, well, you look particularly _handsome_ this morning,” Sokka shoots back, deciding not to hide behind a witty comeback. The fact of the matter is, Zuko _always_ looks handsome. And although Zuko knows that Sokka thinks this already, it still earns a blush from him every single time. This morning is no different. 

“My hair is a mess,” he grumbles, “And I need a bath.”

Sokka just hums thoughtfully, his hand skimming across Zuko’s bare skin under the sheets. “Just evidence of a good time last night, if I do say so myself.” He leans in for a kiss and Zuko meets him halfway, melting into the touch. 

Zuko is all but pliant underneath him, despite having just woken up. As they kiss, it takes no time before the firebender is curling his fingers into Sokka’s hair, the other one skirting down his side to pull him closer by his waist. Although Zuko sometimes has a hard time asking for what he wants, he has _never_ been a passive lover, and Sokka appreciates that about him. He revels in the feeling of strong hands pulling him closer, of nimble fingers tugging on his hair. 

**_“Fifteen more minutes.”_ **

The whisper of Zuko’s voice in his head will never grow old. And in moments like this, it never fails to send a shiver down Sokka’s spine. When they eventually part, gold eyes bearing into blue, Zuko’s breath feels hot against his lips - hotter than the midday summer sun that they’ll catch once they eventually make it out of bed. 

Sokka lets his hand run down the side of Zuko’s neck, his thumb dipping into the hollow of his throat as he hums thoughtfully. “Make it twenty, and you’ve got a deal,” he breathes. 

Zuko doesn’t even bother to say anything else in response - he just pulls him down for a searing hot kiss. 

And _spirits,_ Sokka loves Zuko like _this,_ too. Zuko, sleepy and needy and entirely vulnerable. Zuko, half awake and already half-hard as Sokka rolls on top of him, taking control of the kiss and straddling his hips. Zuko, who easily gasps Sokka’s name when he eventually touches him, who comes apart easily and feels like putty in Sokka’s hands. Never in a million years did Sokka ever dream that he’d see Zuko like _this,_ but he loves every moment of it. It makes getting up early entirely worth it, if they can spend their mornings like this. 

Eighteen minutes later, as they’re both coming down from their post-coital high, Sokka also finds himself thinking that he loves Zuko like _this_ as well, painted in warm morning light, eyes closed, a lazy smile spread across his face, sweat matting his long hair to his forehead and neck. He doesn’t look like a _Fire Lord,_ like this - not that Sokka minds _that_ look either - but instead, he just looks like _Sokka’s._ This is a sight that is reserved for Sokka and Sokka alone; not any of Zuko’s advisors, not his guards or his council and not even their closest friends. _Just_ Sokka. And as he admires Zuko’s features in the warm summer sunlight, as he presses a wet kiss to Zuko’s temple, he can’t help the wave of possessiveness and absolute adoration that washes over him. 

Zuko surprises him by snorting out an unexpected laugh, shaking Sokka from those thoughts.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, a smile pulling on his lips. He cocks his head slightly to the side, waiting for Zuko’s teasing words to come. 

Zuko doesn’t open his eyes immediately and instead just murmurs thoughtfully, “I was just thinking...”

“Well that’s a surprise,” Sokka shoots quickly, which earns a glare from his boyfriend, who’s suddenly looking up at him.

 _“I was thinking,”_ Zuko repeats, challenging Sokka to interrupt with a hard gaze, “That _maybe,_ it wouldn’t have taken so long for us to get together all those years ago if you would have just been this openly _romantic_ back then.”

Sokka opens his mouth to argue that he hasn’t even _said_ anything sappy all morning (except for maybe commenting on how _beautiful_ Zuko looked with his mouth wrapped around his cock, but he’s sure he’s not talking about that) before it clicks. 

_Right_. Soulmates. Somehow, he always forgets about the fact that Zuko can hear his thoughts when he’s like this, waxing poetic about the other man in his head. Sokka offers Zuko a grin before flopping lazily across his chest. 

“Zuko, romance is like a fine wine,” Sokka says with a deep voice in an attempt to channel the wisdom of the Fire Lord’s uncle, “It only gets better with age.”

“Yeah, and maybe you should learn when to put a cork in it,” Zuko shoots back quickly, which elicits a peel of laughter from Sokka. 

“And they call _me_ the funny guy!” Sokka exclaims, “That was good, Zu -”

 _“Please,”_ Zuko interrupts, suddenly reaching forward to anchor his hand at the back of Sokka’s neck, _“Never_ do an impression of my uncle when you’re lying naked in bed with me. Ever. Again _._ ”

That only earns another laugh from Sokka, who, despite Zuko’s resistance, leans forward to press a sloppy kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he insists between decreasingly violent, messy kisses, “Will you ever forgive me?”

Zuko’s not _really_ mad, and Sokka doesn’t need to be able to read his mind to tell. Just the look in his eyes gives him away. He hums thoughtfully as his fingers inch up to tangle in Sokka’s hair once more. “Spend the day in bed with me and I might call it even,” he murmurs. 

And _spirits,_ that sounds like a _fantastic_ deal, but -

“Nu-uh. No can do, _Fire Lord,”_ Sokka replies, pulling away from Zuko’s tempting touches to sit up slightly, the crimson sheets pooling around his waist. Despite the fact that they _both_ just got off only a few minutes ago, he doesn’t miss the way that Zuko’s eyes dart down his body, to his crotch, then back up to his face. He can’t help the smirk that settles on his lips in response. 

“As _incredible_ as that sounds, I have a busy day planned for us,” Sokka insists even as Zuko begins to groan. _“Hey!”_ he exclaims, swatting at Zuko’s side, “I never said that our plans _didn’t_ consist of _many_ orgasms later, but we _do_ have somewhere to be this afternoon, and I really don’t want to be late because then it’ll throw my whole schedule off and -”

 _“Sokka,”_ Zuko cuts him off, “You _promised_ no schedules. We’re on vacation.”

Sokka sighs, “I know, _I know…_ But I _swear_ that this isn’t a bad schedule! It’s a fun schedule! One that dictates that we be on time for lunch so that we can do all of the other fun, exciting things on our itinerary.”

Zuko fixes Sokka with a pleading look.

**_“There’s really no talking you out of this, is there?”_ **

“Nope!” Sokka replies to Zuko’s thought chipperly. He smacks the firebender’s chest gently before he moves to climb out of bed. “Now come on, get up, we’ve got places to go, things to see -”

 _“Please_ tell me the Ember Island Players aren’t on this _schedule,”_ Zuko says, even as he sits up, mimicking Sokka’s movements. 

Sokka goes uncharacteristically quiet at Zuko’s words. In fact, he says _nothing,_ even as he gathers his clothing from the floor and begins pulling a shirt over his head. 

_“Sokka,”_ Zuko says in response to the silence, _“You didn’t.”_

“I may have,” Sokka admits quietly. Zuko opens his mouth to argue, but he quickly cuts him off, crossing the room in a few long strides, “They’re not as bad as they used to be, and I thought it could be fun! Please don’t argue with me, because I didn’t factor an argument into our time here, and if we hurry we can still bathe together which might work out in your favor and -”

“You’re an idiot,” Zuko interrupts his rambling, but there’s a fondness in his voice that Sokka doesn’t miss. He can’t help but grin to himself, even as Zuko is insulting him. 

“I’m _your_ idiot, darling,” he shoots back, which just earns another groan from the other man. 

“I need to find the spirit that decided that you and I would make a good match,” Zuko mutters, voice deadpan. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and Sokka quickly drops down to his knees in front of him. They’d probably make an interesting sight, if one of Zuko’s guards were to walk in right now - Sokka, wearing nothing but a shirt, kneeling in front of a still-naked Fire Lord. 

“Why, so you can thank them personally?” Sokka teases back, a lopsided smile settling onto his face. 

And when Zuko meets his eyes again, the sight nearly takes his breath away. “Yeah,” he murmurs, reaching out to cradle Sokka’s face gently in his hands. His voice takes on this sticky sweet tone, and Sokka _knows_ that it’s not what Zuko meant when he first made the teasing, off-hand comment, but he knows that he _means this,_ when he looks into his eyes. “So I can thank them for bringing you to me.”

* * *

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Zuko loves Ba Sing Se in the summer. There’s something so… _magical_ about the city this time of the year. He tells himself that it’s not nostalgia or lingering fondness or memories of an awkward date with a girl he barely knew or those days working in the tea shop that make him miss it so much, but he knows he’d be lying. 

No, the city of Ba Sing Se might not be perfect - even fifteen years after the end of the war it isn’t - but that’s what he loves about it. Its imperfections. Its diversity. Its capacity for change and growth and evolution. Zuko looks at Ba Sing Se, and he sees a reflection of himself. It seems like just yesterday that he was hiding in the outer rings of the city with his uncle, serving tea to Earth Kingdom citizens, that he was making the decision to let Appa go free instead of capturing him, that he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life by deciding to side with his sister instead of the Avatar. 

It seems like just yesterday that Zuko sat outside of his uncle’s _new_ tea shop, watching the sun rise with Sokka by his side, talking to him for the very first time about their _bond._ In reality, fifteen years have passed since then, and Zuko knows that he has grown immensely since then - they _all_ have - but sometimes, he still feels like that same unsure sixteen year old when he looks into Sokka’s eyes. 

Zuko might be a citizen of the Fire Nation - he’s the _Fire Lord,_ for fuck’s sake - but Ba Sing Se is where he really discovered himself, where he learned who he truly was and what he really wanted out of life, and it will always hold a special place in his heart. Which is why Zuko insists on spending a few days off in Ba Sing Se before heading to Republic City for the fifteenth anniversary celebration of the end of the war. Although he’d _love_ to spend some additional time with Sokka, who is already in Republic City preparing for the event, he also cherishes the rare moments that he gets to spend time along with his uncle. They’re few and far between. 

Prior to his arrival in the city, Zuko gets in contact with Suki, who helps him enter the Ba Sing Se under the radar, so he can spend a few relaxing days with his uncle without alerting King Kuei or any other politicians who would jump at the opportunity to speak with the Fire Lord. Iroh, of course, welcomes Zuko into his home with open arms, and for a moment, it takes Zuko back in time. 

Ba Sing Se in the summer consists of cool mornings and pleasantly warm afternoons, late sunsets and clear nights. In the summer, the city comes alive at night as families come together to cook and drink and have fun. The streets are always full of vendors and street performers and playing children and _excitement._ Even in the upper ring, where his uncle’s tea shop is now located, the nobles and their families let loose a little in the summer. 

“I couldn’t see it before,” Zuko tells his uncle one evening, two days into his stay in the city as he helps to clean a few teacups behind the counter of the Jasmine Dragon. If any of his uncle’s patrons have noticed that the Fire Lord is in their presence, dressed down in muted colors and clearly missing his crown, they haven’t said a single word about it. “But I think I finally understand the appeal of the city - why you decided to stay here.”

Iroh has told Zuko _countless_ times. He explained it in great detail when he first made the decision to remain in Ba Sing Se, when a sixteen-year-old Zuko asked why he didn’t want to come home to his family, his people, after the war was over. 

_“There is so much pain in that palace, nephew,”_ he had expressed, _“Pain that I cannot erase or undo, but that you may be able mend. I love you dearly and I will_ always _be here for you when you need me, but I don’t belong there, anymore. It’s time I settle down and start over.”_

Zuko had been frustrated and confused back then. He had felt that his uncle forced his hand, forced him to run an entire nation by himself, but he understands now, at thirty-one years old, why his uncle didn’t want to return to the Fire Nation. 

The sheer beauty of Ba Sing Se probably just made his decision even easier. 

Iroh offers him a warm smile in return. “You’ve grown wise in your old age, nephew,” he responds, and just as Zuko begins to sputter something indignant out in response, he simply lays warm hands on Zuko’s shoulders, pushing him gently around the corner, “You should take the rest of the evening off. Enjoy your time in the city. Surely your friends will be happy to see you.”

 _“Uncle,”_ Zuko protests, “My friends are all in Republic City. You know, where _we’re_ going in a few days? It’s fine, I’d rather spend time with you.”

Iroh hums thoughtfully, but he continues to usher Zuko towards the front of the shop, ignoring the looks of his last few lingering customers as he goes. “It’s a beautiful evening, you shouldn’t waste it cooped up inside,” he insists, plucking the cup from Zuko’s hands. He opens the front door and all but pushes his nephew outside, “Go for a walk. Enjoy your time here. I can close up by myself, then maybe, we can have supper together later.”

“But uncle -” Zuko starts to argue, but Iroh is having none of it. He shoos Zuko out the front door before closing it right in his face. 

For a moment, Zuko considers storming back into the shop and demanding to know what this is all about. Iroh _knows_ that all of Zuko’s friends, save for Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors, are already in Republic City, preparing for the festival and celebration, so why is he so dead-set on this?

He knows that it’s pointless, though. If he and his uncle are similar in _any_ way, it’s their stubbornness. It’s why they butted heads so much when Zuko was an angry teenager and his uncle was trying to steer him on the right path. It’s why sometimes, even at thirty years old, Zuko will storm out of the room after a particularly frustrating conversation with him, only to immediately apologize ten minutes later. So rather than picking an unnecessary fight with his beloved, stubborn uncle, Zuko sighs, turns, and attempts to see what _he_ sees.

From the front doors of the Jasmine Dragon, Zuko can see much of the city. The location of the tea shop is no accident, as it sits on top of a hill in the upper ring, with a perfect view of the beautiful city around it. 

Right now, that view is accented by the dying summer sunlight. At golden hour, the city seems to absolutely _glow,_ and the sight alone warms Zuko’s bones. He’s sure that _also_ has something to do with the angle of the sun in the sky, but he likes to think that it’s the magic of Ba Sing Se. 

And _okay,_ maybe his uncle was right. He _shouldn’t_ waste his time here cooped up inside. 

Pulling off his apron and draping it over his arm, Zuko takes a few steps forward, taking in the stunning view of the city. Although it’s nearing _sunset_ rather than _sunrise,_ the sight still reminds Zuko of one morning, nearly fifteen years ago, that he sat in this very spot with Sokka, when they first talked about their bond. It’s wild to think of how much has changed since then, not only in Ba Sing Se, but between him and Sokka, too. 

Sokka, who he can’t wait to see again in a few days, after a few months apart. They try not to go _too_ long without seeing each other, but sometimes, it’s difficult, with Sokka serving as the head of Republic City’s council and Zuko literally running an entire nation. Zuko considered inviting Sokka to meet him in Ba Sing Se before the festival, but he knows that it won’t kill them to wait a few more days. Besides, he arranged to stay a few weeks in Republic City under the guise of attending a few council meetings. They’ll have plenty of time to spend with one another, and Zuko can’t wait to see him. To hold him. To touch and kiss him and -

He doesn’t fully finish that thought, because before he can, another one cuts through his mind, unexpected and surprising, but certainly not unwelcome. 

**_“And you call_ ** **me** **_the hopeless romantic.”_ **

Zuko freezes, his eyes going wide at the sound of _that voice_ in his head, before he comes to his senses and spins quickly on his heel. 

And there, leaning up against the corner of the tea shop is none other than the man himself, a sly smile spread across his face. He almost doesn’t even look real, with the way that the dying sun paints him in golden light, and the sight takes the breath from Zuko’s lungs. 

Zuko has so many questions (How did Sokka know he was going to be here? Why didn’t he write to tell him he was coming? _How long has he been standing there?)_ but instead of asking _any_ of them, Zuko, dumbfounded, just breathes, _“Sokka -”_

The smile only widens and as casually as possible, Sokka asks, “Surprised to see me?” 

Zuko doesn’t even dignify his question with an answer. Instead, he wordlessly closes the gap between them in a few long strides before meeting his boyfriend for a long awaited kiss. Sokka expects it - of course he does, he can hear Zuko’s thoughts, after all - and meets him with gentle hands that cradle the back of his head as he smiles into the kiss. 

When they eventually part, Zuko finally asks, “Aren’t you supposed to be in Republic City? How did you -”

“Katara’s covering for me,” Sokka responds smoothly. His hands don’t leave Zuko’s body quite yet, and his thumb dances over Zuko’s cheek as he cradles his face, obviously admiring the way that Zuko has tied his hair up in a neat bun. “They’ll survive without me for a couple of days.”

Zuko snorts out a small laugh in response. His hand encircles Sokka’s wrist, holding him in place. It feels _good_ to touch him. It grounds him in a way that he hasn’t felt in months. “How’d you manage that?”

Sokka offers a sheepish smile in return. “I may or may not be on babysitting duty for a few weeks…”

With a roll of his eyes, Zuko steps forward once more, his free hand snaking around Sokka’s waist to pull him closer. “What will the city do without you?” he asks teasingly. 

“Burn down, probably,” Sokka answers, deadpan. It earns a raised eyebrow from Zuko, prompting him to clarify, _“Kidding._ Obviously.”

Then, they’re kissing again, Zuko pressing Sokka gently against the wall of his uncle’s tea shop. Fifteen years ago, Zuko never would have been able to imagine _this -_ Sokka, arching into the kiss, their hands on each other, the warm summer air on their skin - but it makes so much sense, now. 

The second kiss lingers a little bit longer than the first, which leaves Zuko mumbling against Sokka’s lips when they _do_ part. “So… what was so important that you couldn’t wait a few days to see me?”

Sokka just scoffs in response. “Is it a crime to want to spend some quality time with my boyfriend in a beautiful city?”

It’s a non-answer, which isn’t uncommon with Sokka, especially when he’s flirting like this, so Zuko thinks nothing of it. He’s sure that his uncle had some hand in this, and he reminds himself to thank him later, even as he detaches himself slightly from the other man. 

“Well, you’re in luck,” he retorts, “My boss just cut me for the night.”

Sokka hums in response, a lazy smile finding its way onto his lips. “In that case, how do you feel about a romantic stroll, _darling?”_

After Zuko steps back into the shop to drop his apron off at the counter and quietly thank his uncle (who just smiles knowingly at him) Zuko gladly takes Sokka’s arm, leading him down the hill and towards the heart of the city. With the sun slowly dropping further and further in the horizon, Zuko knows that not many shops or vendors will still be open, but that doesn’t matter. The only thing that _really_ matters is the handsome man on his arm. 

As they walk through the streets of the Upper Ring, Sokka chats excitedly about his life in Republic City. Even though it has only been a couple of months since they last saw each other, he has _plenty_ of stories to tell, and Zuko is more than happy to listen. In fact, he _loves_ to hear Sokka talk about the things that excite him - like the new city building that they just approved construction on, or the beautiful home that Aang and Katara have built on Air Temple Island, or how excited Aang is to host the festival and celebration in Republic City because it truly is a melting pot of all four nations as well as non-benders. Zuko offers a few hums and head nods and laughs while Sokka tells him of how big Kya and Bumi have gotten and how his nephew is quickly taking after him and it’s driving his sister _mad._

“I just can’t believe that he’s already five years old,” Sokka says wistfully as they walk together through the city streets. 

Zuko hums in agreement. _“I_ can’t believe it has already been fifteen years.”

“Same here,” Sokka replies with a smile. 

Then, silently, he adds, **_“It seems like only yesterday that I was kicking your ass at swordbending in the Western Air Temple.”_ **

Zuko abruptly stops walking, his eyes going wide at Sokka’s unsaid words. “You kicking _my_ ass?” he argues, “That’s not how I remember it.”

Sokka’s grin just widens as he teases, “Maybe your memory is just starting to go, _old man.”_

“I’m only one year older than you!” Zuko all but exclaims, earning a few glances from some shopkeepers and strangers on the street. Quieter, he adds, “And why does everyone keep calling me an old man? Am I missing something here?”

At that, Sokka erupts into laughter, nearly doubling over with it. Zuko, unamused, crosses his arms while he waits for the other man to wear himself out. 

“Sorry,” Sokka wheezes, wiping a tear from his eye as he calms himself down, “It’s just - sometimes, you still act like the same hot-headed asshole I first met in the South Pole. It’s amazing. _Oh!_ Say something about your honor -”

_“Sokka -”_

“I’m sorry,” Sokka repeats, taking a few steps forward to close the gap between them, reaching out for Zuko’s hands, “I’m kidding. I love it - I promise. I love it.”

Zuko, unconvinced, doesn’t fully cave quite yet, not until Sokka’s voice goes a little softer as he continues, “I love _you,_ you idiot,” he leans forward, pressing a kiss to Zuko’s lips, chuckling softly against him, “Even if you _are_ still a hot-head.”

Zuko just groans in response, but his body gives him away, melting under Sokka’s touch.

The other man, uncaring about their public display of affection, rubs his hands up and down Zuko’s exposed arms. “I’m really excited to celebrate with you,” he murmurs, attempting to change the subject. “Everyone is really excited to see you, too. _Toph,_ especially.”

As they resume walking down the street, the buildings casting long shadows in front of them, Zuko replies, “I am _not_ drinking this year.” The mention of Toph has his mind wandering back to _last year’s_ celebration in the Fire Nation, when the earthbender had made some stupid bet that nobody could out-drink her. Sokka had encouraged Zuko to accept said challenge _(“Kick her ass, baby, I’ll hold your crown!”)_ and Zuko had consequently spent the entire next day in bed. 

Sokka snorts in response, swinging their arms between them, their hands linked together. “Learned your lesson last year?”

 _“Last year,_ I spent half of the night getting sick behind the banquet hall,” Zuko grumbles. He still can’t stand the taste of fire whiskey. 

“Yeah you did, you party animal, you,” Sokka teases, bumping Zuko’s hip slightly as they walk. 

Zuko glances at him, opening his mouth to argue, to tease him about one of _his_ many embarrassing nights of drinking - like maybe the time he drunkenly stumbled into the head of education’s quarters instead of Zuko’s, mumbling filthy nonsense, or maybe the time that he passed out on the beach after an afternoon of day-drinking with Toph and spent an entire week nursing a _terrible_ sunburn - but just as he turns to Sokka, all of his thoughts go out the window. The dying summer sunlight sneaks through an opening between two buildings, painting the city street around them in golds and oranges and yellows, Sokka included, and it takes Zuko’s breath away. He has _always_ looked stunning in Fire Nation reds, and the warm sunlight does something similar to his skin, as well. It reminds Zuko of the time that he and Sokka sparred together on Ember Island around sunset when they were just _kids,_ before he really knew how he felt about him. It reminds him of sitting outside of his uncle’s tea shop at sunrise. It reminds him of the countless sunsets that he and Sokka have spent together in the Fire Nation capital, the frigid South Pole, Earth Kingdom streets and even on rooftops in Republic City. It reminds him of the way that the sunlight paints stripes across Sokka’s skin in the morning as it filters in through the window, just before the world wakes up. 

Sokka, oblivious to _all of this,_ apparently, just grins at Zuko, seemingly ignoring the dumbfounded expression on his face and the barrage of disgustingly romantic thoughts in his head and says, “Come on. A _couple_ of drinks. We have _so much_ to celebrate this year, and I’m not about to let you miss out on the fun.”

Zuko’s not sure how, but he manages to regain his composure enough to ask, “Oh yeah? Like what?”

Sokka pauses for a moment, clearly thinking, but Zuko can’t definitively hear what’s on his mind. Ten years into their relationship, and sometimes the other man is still a complete mystery to him. With a small smile, he waits for Sokka’s response, before the other man hums thoughtfully and says, “Well, there are the obvious things like fifteen years of peace.” He grins and adds, “You know, fifteen years of having the _hottest_ Fire Lord the world has ever known. I think that’s worth celebrating -”

 _“Sokka -”_

“And Bumi just turned five!” Sokka adds before Zuko can fully interrupt, “I know I already mentioned that, but _still_ ... _Oh,_ and Toph just opened another metalbending academy near the city, which is exciting! Hmm… What else?”

Zuko’s smile grows a little bit as they walk, watching Sokka look thoughtfully up at the sky as he tries to come up with more reasons why Zuko should let loose. Even now, as a grown adult, Sokka is still so similar to the young man that he first fell in love with. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that he’s a genius strategist, that he’s head councilman of Republic City, that he’s _in charge_ of making all of the important decisions in one of the fastest growing cities in the world. But Zuko knows Sokka inside and out, and he loves both the dorky, carefree side of him just as much as he loves the skilled tactician and fierce warrior that he grew up to become. 

Just as Zuko’s about to interrupt Sokka’s rambling to concede, to tell him that _fine,_ he’ll have a couple of drinks and have some fun with his friends, a simple, concise thought interrupts him. 

**_“Fuck it.”_ **

It’s blunt and abrupt, catching Zuko off guard, but as Zuko turns to ask him what’s wrong, he’s speaking again. 

“Oh! I got it!” he exclaims suddenly, a smile spreading across his face. “We’re going to have an engagement to celebrate!”

“Engagement?” Zuko asks, his brow furrowing in confusion, “Who got engaged?”

In retrospect, Zuko _should have_ seen it coming. Time slows down when Sokka stops walking, effectively pulling him to a stop, and deep down, Zuko knows what he’s about to say. He can hear the words in his head before he says them, but Zuko doesn’t even need to hear his thoughts to know.

He just… _does._

Slowly, Sokka reaches into his pocket, and when his hand appears again, it’s clutching a small, thin blue cloth band. He opens his palm to reveal a necklace, adorned with a simple, carved whale bone pendant. 

His words are simple (and actually quite comical, looking back on it) but they pull the breath from Zuko’s lungs. 

“Uh… _us?”_

Zuko is… _speechless._ To be honest, he sees it coming, can hear the whispering of Sokka’s thoughts just before he pulls the betrothal necklace from his pocket, but the sight of it, coupled with Sokka’s words leave Zuko dumbfounded. His mind goes blank. He searches for the right words to say, but they won’t come. He doesn’t even know where to start. 

So Sokka does what he does best. He starts talking. 

“I uh - I mean, this isn’t really how I planned on asking,” he starts, “I had this whole _plan_ after the festival, and _spirits,_ I bet Toph is going to be so pissed that it went down like this. Fuck, I don’t really know if this is even the _proper_ way to do it, in the Fire Nation, I mean, I don’t _think_ any other Fire Lords have ever actually been _proposed to,_ but -”

“Sokka,” Zuko starts, taking a step forward, but the other man just continues. 

_“I love you,_ okay? I really fucking love you, Zuko, and not just because the spirits said so or because I can hear your thoughts - which are _really_ quiet right now, which is kind of unsettling and -”

“Sokka _stop -”_ Zuko reaches out, grabbing his wrist, eyes locked on the elegant necklace in his hand. He can’t help but picture it around his neck, how the blue and white would contrast against gold and red and black. It’s _perfect._

“I mean, I know it’s not really _conventional,_ and I’m _sure_ people will talk - oh _man,_ I can just imagine what your council will say - but I really want to marry you, so -”

 ** _“Sokka, please stop talking,”_** Zuko thinks pointedly, and _finally,_ that seems to do the trick. Sokka cuts himself short, mouth open, eyes wide. He stares at Zuko, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, so Zuko takes a deep breath and tries to gather his thoughts.

He wants to choose his words carefully, wants to say the right thing here, but the only thing he can think to mutter is, “You really want to marry me.”

It’s not really a question, but it’s not a statement, either. He just - _well,_ he doesn’t really fully believe it. Even though he and Sokka have been together for nearly a decade, even though Sokka is his _soulmate,_ even though the man is literally standing in front of him, holding a betrothal necklace, he can’t believe it. He can’t believe he got lucky enough to end up with someone like Sokka - that someone like Sokka wants to fucking _marry him._

Every time he has let himself imagine this moment, he always pictured himself presenting Sokka with his own crown - a silver headpiece, shaped into a flame, a perfect replica of his own, but crafted to honor Sokka’s heritage. He never imagined that Sokka would be the one to -

“I mean, I thought the betrothal necklace made that pretty clear, but _yeah,”_ Sokka says, cutting Zuko’s thoughts short. He looks down at the necklace in his hand, then back at Zuko. “Although, now that I think about it, _is it too girly?_ I don’t -”

“It’s perfect,” Zuko interrupts before Sokka can begin rambling again. He takes a step forward, placing his hand over Sokka’s - over the necklace. _“You’re_ perfect. I love you, Sokka. I love you so much.”

“Oh, thank _fuck,”_ Sokka breathes. 

Then, they’re kissing. Zuko pulls Sokka close and kisses him in the middle of the street, shopkeepers and strangers be damned. Sokka practically _melts_ into the kiss, going boneless beneath Zuko’s touch, and Zuko revels in the fact that he can still do this. Ten years into their relationship, he can still make Sokka fall apart in his hands. And better yet, _Sokka can still take him by surprise._

_Agni, he loves this man._

When they part, it’s only by a few inches, just enough to breathe, to center themselves. Sokka presses his forehead against Zuko’s and asks, breathless, “So does this mean you -”

“What do you think?” Zuko retorts, a smile spreading across his face, _“You_ can hear my thoughts.”

Sokka pulls back, just barely, far enough to look Zuko in the eyes and replies with a grin, “Yeah, I know, but I kinda want to hear you say it out loud.”

Zuko can’t help but huff out a laugh in response. He _knows_ that his thoughts must be loud right now, that Sokka can probably hear _everything_ he’s thinking - like how he can’t wait to tell uncle, how he is dying to get Sokka home so he can kiss him, so he can _touch him_ properly, how _stunning_ Sokka is going to look on their wedding day, how he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with someone as brilliant and caring and brave as him - but he humors him. He doesn’t say it _all_ out loud, but he says the bit that matters, at least right now. He can whisper sweet nothings to him all night, anyway. 

“Yes,” Zuko murmurs, meeting Sokka’s eager blue eyes just as the sun dips behind the horizon, casting a beautiful pinkish-purple glow across the city streets. “Yes, I’ll marry you, you idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God. Thank you all again for reading this and all of your lovely comments. This is my first fic for this ship/fandom, and it definitely won't be my last. 
> 
> I'm working on another long/slow burn/angsty as hell fic that I'll hopefully start publishing sometime soon, but in the meantime, I'm sure I'll be sharing some short one-shots too! Come say hey on [Tumblr](https://thefangirlingdead.tumblr.com) in the meantime.


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